No really, she does! It's the title of her weekly tell-all for Bravo! I feel like I'm moderating a debate, or more accurately a high school mean girls bitchfest. Yesterday, we brought you Joyce Giraud's take on her beef with Brandi Glanville on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and now we're allowing Brandi a rebuttal. She uses her Bravo blog to give her side of the Joyce drama while explaining away her and Carlton Gebbia's behavior at Kim Richards' party. Oh, of course she manages to get in some digs at Lisa Vanderpump, too. Brandi's such a multi-tasker!
She begins, "Carlton asked me and some of her other girlfriends to meet up for a pole dancing lesson before we went over to Kimberly's graduation party. Although Kim and I were not super close at this point, I honestly couldn't remember a time since I've known her that she had hosted anything, so I was definitely not going to miss it. Carlton had a few drinks before our class. I was not on the same level, but almost instantly I starting feeling dizzy and nauseous. I assumed it was motion sickness from the poles spinning. But later I spiked a fever and was throwing up for the next day-and-a-half, so I think its safe to assume I caught some sort of bug and it wasn't just motion sickness." Oh girl. I was born, but it wasn't yesterday!
Continuing, Brandi writes, "We head over to Kim's and I thought it might be a good idea to grab a burger before we went in to hopefully help Carlton sober up a bit and help me to stop feeling so crappy. I feel bad I was ill at Kim's house, but it really couldn't have been helped. It was better that we didn't stay anyhow because Joyce was there in some ridiculous get up and I didn't want to have a confrontation with Miss Attention Seeker a high school graduation party."
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Of her showdown with Joyce, Brandi recalls, "Lisa called and asked if I had any dresses I could donate to foster girls for their prom and I was more then happy to help when I can. I actually donated my Reem Acra wedding gown to an army wife, and donating the other gown I wore at my wedding felt like a healthy cleansing move to make. Putting the past completely behind me and starting fresh with some new dresses and new memories," adding, "I also thought this could be a good time to hash it out with Joyce and move forward. It is really hard to explain my issues with Joyce to all of you — but I'm going to try now. Ages ago at Carlton's luncheon Lisa snapped at Joyce, but only because I had just told Lisa that I felt bad for talking about her faint on Dancing With the Stars on the car ride over. Lisa was upset with me and I understood why, but unfortunately she took it out on Joyce when Joyce went to fix Lisa's hair. Lisa was snappy, and Joyce gave me a look as though she were appalled."
Brandi digresses back to the infamous hair-fixing incident between Joyce and Lisa before blogging, "OK now back to Lisa's house. I decide to have a conversation with Joyce. I did apologize for offending her, but I wasn't ready to completely apologize about everything — not when this woman is calling me the names she is calling me (racist, bully, alcoholic, and bipolar). Those are really exaggerated and extreme labels when the fact is I wasn't bullying her — just being a bitch because of what she pulled at the Thompson. The definition of bully is a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. Did I harm her with my powerful ways? Does she really think she is weaker then me?"
Discussing Joyce's behavior, Brandi continues, "She claims I play the victim but it's the other way around. The rest is all bulls— so I'm not going to write too much about it. I was made fun of for being flat-chested, skinny, and having a funny name when I was younger — but that's just juvenile name-calling. Stick and stones you know? I wasn't bullied, and I have not bullied Joyce. Our conversation goes on and on. We both finally apologize. She hugs me, which I didn't like because you can't label me those horrible things and then expect me to hug you. It's over and at this point I am happy to be cordial. Clearly Joyce was just putting a band-aid on the situation, though. Even though it was over that day, months and months later she is giving interview after interview about it. Maybe she should have put that band-aid over her mouth."
Let's face it, it wouldn't be Brandi if she didn't stick it to former friend Lisa. She concludes, "While watching Kim tell Lisa that she knew she was in town Saturday night, I didn't understand why Lisa's first instinct was to lie about where she was. Not only did she lie initially, but the she kept insisting she was out of town — which makes no sense to me. I don't think it would have been a big deal if they didn't want to go to a high school graduation party, but to lie to someone's face for no reason seems odd. Lisa and Ken throw a ton of events and they expect us all to show up for them and we do. So I think it would have been nice for them to show up for Kim's event. I mean I can't even remember the last time Kim hosted something. I also thought Ken's comment about Kim missing things was a low blow. This isn't the Ken and Lisa I know."
TELL US-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BRANDI'S SIDE OF THE STORY? ARE YOU TEAM BRANDI, TEAM JOYCE, OR WILL YOU BE JOINING MY TEAM OF TEAM NEITHER?
[Photo Credit: Rodolfo Martinez/Bravo]