All-in-all it was a pretty lackluster season (Lisa Rinna we need you! Like your first and second season you, but I understand you’re scarred after Revenge of the Blue Bunny). When the major drama centers around Dorit’s early on-set dementia (why does this woman never remember anything accurately or at all?!) and hissy fits over etiquette she doesn’t have, or Kyle feeling unsupported, you knew it was gonna end on a fussy note. Which is fine – any time I get to see Kyle act a fool, I kind of relish it.
All it took for Jax to reach this inevitable conclusion was cheating with a friend, several screaming fights, a threatened moved to Florida for a fake job, a meltdown that nearly got him fired, meddling friends, a fake first date with a fake crush, the return to an abandoned identity, and one reiki instructor who fled to Africa! I mean would you stick around for the fall-out of that mess?
We have an all new reality star photo gallery for you! See what your favorite reality TV personalities did over the weekend. Erika Jayne, Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix attended a festival in Palm Springs.
Erika’s co-star Lisa Rinna attended the ZOEasis 2018 event along side Rachel Zoe. Meanwhile, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills OG Lisa Vanderpump signed bottles of Vanderpump Rose at the Fine Wine & Good Spirits Premium Collection store in Pennsylvania and was accompanied by her daughter Pandora.
Vanderpump Rules star Scheana Marie attended a pre-event for the 53rd Academy of Country Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas.
Here’s the thing though: everyone in this cast loves Brittany– who Jax cheated on with Faith Stowers– so it’s tough for the rest of the cast members to have sympathy for him given the bigger scandals in their relationship.
Reporting from Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills there’s really nothing to report here people! The women survived Berlin, no pandas were injured as a result of this filming, they returned to LA: gyrated, cried over houses and bikinis and puppies, then left us to go hide until the finale. You know – it was that calm before the storm finale episode and it made my heart sad because that means the end is near for this season of RHOBH. Also this trip to Berlin was brought to us by Aperol Spritz, which I am now going to be drinking liberally because it apparently erases cellulite, droopy brows, bad manners, and the need to cause drama over nothing!
Kyle Richards and Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave are sitting in a the lobby of Berlin’s finest luxury hotel just waiting, and waiting, and waiting for the appearance of their idol, pop star Erika Jayne. Teddi jitters her knee and double-checks that her autograph book is by her side; Kyle, anxious she’s not cool enough, hikes up her over-the-knee boots a little higher and decides she better paint her nails. I’m impressed with her on-the-fly mani skills though!
I’m beginning to worry that Tom Sandoval and Jax Taylor have been on Vanderpump Rules for so long they now need hearing aids in addition to emotional crutches, because overnight Jax has turned into a crotchety old man with a hearing problem waving his finger around and complaining about bad kids with a turn up problem.
Everyone is still in Mexico (apparently a purgatory of all reality TV eternity) where Kristen Doute is flinging drinks at James Kennedy and Lala Kent, you know because they need a cold shower and to cool off. Or possibly for Raquel Leviss‘s sake. Or perhaps Kristen thought James’s bronzer was too intense? Actually that’s just James’s naturally perfect skin (I am obsessed and so jealous. It is PORELESS like a Noxema ad from 1992).
Whatever Kristen’s reasons for tossing a perfectly good cocktail has absolutely nothing to do with Kristen believing that James started a rumor that they hooked up. A rumor that Jax, not James, actually started and which James denied several times. James adds the only way he would’ve said anything of the sort is if he was drunk and joking.
Oh, Berlin with the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. It actually wasn’t a bad trip if you ignore the weird, fantastical, messy veal tartare of an argument Dorit Kemsley tried to throw at Kyle Richards. Why can’t these women just ever have fun eating food… it’s like if they start a fight they won’t have time to consume the calories?
Yet for the most part everyone had fun and got along. Prost to that! (Cheers in German. Thanks Google)
First the women either went shopping or spent 4+ hours ordering lattes in German. Kyle, Lisa Rinna and TeddiMellencamp Arroyave are afraid they’ll be forced into consuming whole milk and sugar by language barriers. Like the Germans are some primitive people never exposed to modern things like – gasp – ALMOND MILK. Or fat-free milk! I think the menus were actually written in cave drawings and ‘hoople hop ooper mandopippitidy peep pop poopio’ or whatever ever it is Lipsa ordered was actually dehydrated wild buffalo penis. You never know with these newly discovered civilizations! I mean … pretzels?