On the season finale of Shahs of Sunset, we celebrate Reza Farahan's 40th birthday and engagement to his boyfriend, Adam Neely. In other words, his save face tour has come to an end. Blech. Please forgive me for not feeling all warm and fuzzy toward King Reza.
Before the birthday bash in Palm Springs, Reza and Mike Shouhed hit up the gym. Reza wants to lower his "chunk factor" before he turns 40. Um, yeah. Get back to me when he works on his "racist" and "misogynist" factors. So, Mike and Reza talk business after their workout, which doesn't get intense enough to keep Reza from wearing gold jewelry or chomping on gum like a cow. Reza insists Mike didn't want to pay his dues as a new agent. Mike feels Reza never made an effort to mentor him. Back and forth we go. Again.
In the end, Mike declares he doesn't have the patience for
a honest day's work residential real estate, so he's going back to commercial. Reza babbles on about them raising babies together despite their divorce, blah, he's not as witty as he thinks he is, blah, and then they hug it out.
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Next, Vida takes Mercedes "MJ" Javid to the spa for her birthday. Yes, Vida is a mean person. But, when you look at how MJ treats her friends, it's obvious that apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. She needs serious therapy. At the spa, Vida Sour tells Vida Original Flavor about the trip to Turkey, including her sudden desire to have a child. Vida calls her daughter naive. MJ shuts down and calls her mother the meanest woman in the world. Vida sighs, typical of MJ, ending with fighting and crying. MJ walks out on Vida.
Mike and Jessica go out to dinner and end up talking about the not-engaged-yet status of their relationship. Jessica points out that Mike, 35, isn't getting any younger. He says "for sure" around 40. "It doesn't take five years to buy a ring, Mike," bemoans a frustrated Jessica. "I'm too good of a girl – I have my head on my shoulders. I'm hot. I'm a nurse. I come from a good family. I'm converting. I love you. There's no way in the world five years will be okay with me."
Still, Mike says an Iranian wedding costs at least $500,000, so Jessica needs to wait until his business is flourishing. Flourishing business? Ha! This, coming from the man who can't stick with a career for five minutes. Poor Jess.
Meanwhile, Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi decides to look into freezing her eggs, and she brings MJ along for support. Really? After spending, what? Three amicable days in Turkey with her? That doesn't make any sense to me. At all. Unless it's Scripts by Bravo. MJ makes faces and annoys GG on purpose because everything has to be about MJ. MJ! MJ! MJ! Oh, speaking of MJ, she makes an appointment with the fertility specialist on her way out.
Finally, we're off to Palm Springs, and Reza puts on like he paid for the rental. HAHAHA. Reza declares his love for Adam and reveals his plan to propose.
Over dinner, GG talks about her plan to have a baby by 2015. Jessica calls out Mike. So Reza asks her how many carats she wants, she says she'd settle for a Ring Pop at this point. All eyes are on Mike – and he promises to propose before 2015. And that's it for serious chitchat. Because, alcohol.
Drunken antics ensue. Everyone is swimming and drinking and having a great time when MJ comes outside, making a big deal about herself, as always. GG has a cup in each hand. MJ loses her top. Mike and Jessica quietly go in the house. GG throws a hissy fit about Mike and Jess leaving the party. Until MJ hits her in the face with her bikini top. Now inside, GG cries ABOUT her face, and MJ laughs IN her face. Laughing, they fall into bed – a big pile of wasted fools on the bed.
For reasons unknown, they storm into Mike's room and he's naked. MJ throws herself onto his bed and ends up on the floor. Again, wasted fool. Mike's door eventually gets knocked off the hinges. In the rental house. Because that's how they roll. GG gets blamed for Reza and MJ's childish nonsense. She's pissed off, but Asa Soltan Rahmati calms her down before anyone gets Crispy-ed.
Needless to say, they're all hung over the next morning. This doesn't stop them from playing on a Slip 'N Slide. Unfortunately.
Later, Reza nervously prepares to pop the question to Adam. It's – dare I say – cute. Reza drops a box in front of Adam, saying it's a gift, and Adam calls it "a little ring". Everyone else is like, OMG, what's happening here? Reza proposes. Adam says yes. "I love Adam," says Reza. "If anyone has ever earned anything in this world, Adam has definitely earned an engagement ring for putting up with my crazy ass. Being in a relationship with me, it's a lot. He has earned it."
Everyone looks overjoyed, expect Mike. Is he jealous? Annoyed? Who knows – but Mike says he's just in shock.
Final thoughts from Palm Springs:
MJ says, "I learned that you find your family where you can. I have wanted to cut one or two of them up a couple of times and pour some salt and lemon juice on the wounds, but the second I lay eyes on them, the chemistry between us is like Richter scale. That's why we're all still friends after all these years."
"I think I'm getting really good at growing," shares GG. "I'm liking it. I'm learning how to do it. I'm still a work in progress though."
Mike says, "I realize that real friendship is putting yourself out there and being vulnerable even though you don't know how it's all going to end but having the hope it is all going to work out." Asa shares, "I will always be a refugee, but I'm not sad about it anymore because this is my tribe."
"I can't think of a better way to kick in the fourth decade of my life," concludes Reza. "I didn't expect that I was going to grow so much. Don't they say it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks? Well, Rover found the bone, and I'm going to keep it because I've earned that f–king bone."
In L.A., Lilly Ghalichi comes home to an empty condo, save for Coconut. She orders dinner, takes two bites and puts it in the fridge. As far as Shahs of Sunset goes, Lilly says she regrets holding grudges and pulling away from the group. Lilly and Coconut go to bed. Lights out.
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Photo Credit: Bravo