Looks like we made it! Shahs of Sunset season six is officially finished and tonight’s part two of the reunion did its best to leave no stone unturned when it came to the burning questions of the season like what’s up with Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi’s marriage? Is she a less angry, better hearing version of herself thanks to rehab and a hearing aid? Is Mike Shouhed still seeing ex-wife Jessica Parido? Does anyone still care at this point? Is Reza Farahan faithful to husband Adam Neely? Does anyone care about that either? And finally, why is Asa Soltan Rahmati on the show? I guess people care about this one. OK, so none of these were really burning questions but Bravo loves to drag out these reunions so whatevs, here’s the breakdown of it all.
We resume from last week’s cliffhanger about whether or not Reza believes his soon-to-be-ex-best-friend Asa’s claim that she didn’t do IVF to conceive her son. Reza, being the slime ball friend that he is, says he does believe her but he has doubts. So he doesn’t believe her? No, he believes her but he hates himself for having doubts. Ohhh I see, he wants so badly to believe his friend but he is also Reza and therefore cannot be trusted and wants to roll with everyone who is pushing Asa out this season, so he can’t stand by her. Are you all following this? I think this is the end of Asa. Because as much as she can be annoying with her magical diamond liquid gold baby organic priestess-ness, she is probably the only one on the show who does value her friendships and now that her friendship with Reza is fractured, what is the point of it all?
The reunion venues for the Shahs of Sunset are getting bigger and so are the accusations. We barely make it through Andy Cohen greeting everyone before the gloves come off, or as Asa Soltan Rahmati observes, the Uzis come out. Asa was of course, a big, pregnant target this season and even in the glow of new motherhood, her cast mates aren’t about to let her off the hook. Even Vida, who usually likes to reserve her most blistering commentary for her own daughter, comes for Asa and trust me when I say her Uzi was fully loaded for that exchange.
Before we go there, I feel like I’m sitting down with a totally different cast than what I saw this season – long gone are any blonde highlights from Mercedes “MJ” Javid and Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi. Instead, their hair is dyed as black as their little hearts. Another thing that’s gone is Reza Farahan’s mustache, along with 43 pounds, to be exact. Mike Shouhed and Shervin Roohparvar are bringing the 90s back, with Mike’s emo eyeliner and Shervin’s slicked back little ponytail with the sides shaved.
I think we all saw it coming when bestie/worstie of friends Reza Farahan didn’t exactly jump to Asa’s defense during her falling out with Mercedes “MJ” Javid over whether or not Asa used IVF to conceive her “miracle baby.” But let’s face it, MJ wasn’t really mad about Asa using IVF or not, she was really just pissed that Asa beat her to the punch when it came to having a kid. So MJ just found the weakest link in the Asa Chain (the fact that Asa isn’t forthcoming with all aspects of her life) and exploited it with the rest of the Shahs to get them on board with casting Asa aside. And it actually worked!
It doesn’t look like L.A. is missing the Shahs much and I’m pretty sure New York will be happy to get rid of them but first, we have to suffer through Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi’s life-changing, earth-shattering, coming of age bit part in an off Broadway play that she keeps talking about. In case we haven’t been taking her seriously up to this point, she has learned her lines and thus, turned her chaotic life around in one single unpaid job opportunity. To quote Reza Farahan, it only took 35 years.
After the Shahs of Sunset have spent so much time talking about the new and improved Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi, does anyone miss the old GG? You know, the one filled with knife-loving, hair-triggered rage and drama? If that’s the GG you have come to know and love, the good news is that she’s back this episode! The bad news is that all her crazy is overshadowed by all the crazy that her new boyfriend, Shalom Yeroushalmi, has to offer. Sounds like a match made in heaven!
Before we get to that train wreck of a relationship, we still have to sort through another in the form of Mercedes “MJ” Javid and fiancé Tommy Feight. Last week ended with their epic fight about whether or not to knock her up, with Tommy simply asking for some more time for them to get healthy and grow up a little. Of course one would like to think that an engaged couple in their forties that’s been talking about having a baby for over a year would already have figured that all out but this is Shahs, people – don’t go expecting much.
For Shervin’s part, he might be able to see the writing on the wall that alpha crew member Reza Farahan is willing to turn his back on his oldest and closest friend, all because she doesn’t want to tell a bunch of fake friends who call her baby a bastard how she conceived. But most likely, Shervin realizes that someone somewhere has some dirt on him and his cheating ways and it’s easier to fess up now instead of spending multiple seasons being accused, like Mike Shouhed. As for MJ, I’m pretty sure tequila (and a slow decent to complete madness) is what caused her to go off the rails and issue a pregnancy ultimatum to fiancé, Tommy Feight. Spoiler alert: when you issue a man an ultimatum of any form, especially one driven by alcohol and overdramatic, nonsensical tears, it usually doesn’t end well.
I have to admit, when I saw that tonight’s episode of Shahs of Sunset was titled “A Tale of Two Turkeys” I was worried we would spend the episode rehashing the two different versions of events that Mike Shouhed and Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi presented from their fateful cast trip to Turkey a few years ago. I guess I have spent too long following the Shahs but either way, I was relieve to find out that the turkey the title is referring to is just good old fashioned Turkey Day because it’s Thanksgiving on the Sunset. Time to give thanks, right? If by “thanks” I mean gossip, backstabbing and meddling in each other’s business! God, I love the holidays.
We open with Mike and buddy once more Reza Farahan walking their dogs and talking crudely about Mike’s dating life. Who really belongs on the leash here? Anyway, Reza thinks that it’s time that Mike gets back into the dating game and while Mike assures everyone that it’s not for lack of options, he feels like when you have been cheating with someone for 5 years, it’s hard to get back into dating mode. Plus, he’s not technically divorced yet, although that didn’t seem to stop him from dating when he was actually married. Reza is shocked to hear this news, especially since he took the liberty of circling the divorce finalization date in a red sharpie marker on his calendar, signaling that it’s FINAL. I guess because if Reza uses a red sharpie, then all of the mediation, negotiation and litigation that it takes to finalize a divorce gets trumped by a red marker? I can’t understand why Reza is so shocked to hear this but since he has to turn everything into an ulterior motive, he asks Mike if he’s dragging his feet on the divorce because he’s still emotionally invested. Mike maintains that he’s just not ready and who knows, he probably has a full plate with all the baby shoes he selling (or something).