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So, were y'all glued to the first half of the Vanderpump Rules reunion like I was on Monday? Team U.S.A. who? Kidding!(?) :)  I mean, season one, meh, season two, I'm an addict! Here are some things that I now know to be true (besides the obvious "Kristen Doute is totally insane" diatribe): Katie Maloney looks much better as a brunette (welcome back!), she's not featured enough on the show, and she is incredibly well-spoken. I'd also add that's she's a horrible drunk, but she addresses that ever so astutely in her Bravo blog this week. It's kind of long, so I left out her very level and kind words for Scheana Marie's hosting career and her opinions on Jax Taylor's sex addiction. However, I made sure to touch on her thoughts on her friendship with Stassi Schroeder and Kristen and Tom Sandoval's crazy dysfunctional relationship, . Seriously, am I the only one who is surprised by the level of maturity in Katie's blog? 

She begins, "After everything that's happened, I don't think the vibe is any better at SUR. It's just different. Obviously with all the time that has past its allowed the dust to settle and lift the tension from the air. Whether or not Stassi was still working at SUR or not, it would still be the same. The dynamic has shifted big time and relationships have changed all for the better. I am thankful that all of us are able to be cordial and still work along side one another."

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Commenting on the spark (or lack thereof) between Kristen and Tom, Katie shares, "I have seen Kristen and Tom be the amazing couple that Tom boasts about. But, those moments were really more of a flash in the pan. I used to hang out with Kristen on a daily basis, and while it's common for anyone to have frustrations with their partners, it's very uncommon for it to be a daily ordeal. Kristen and Tom's relationship was void of anyone romance and intimacy. Every couple goes through dry spells — but this was a permanent basis with them. I think Tom is trying to remain optimistic as a bit of a coping mechanism and that's fine because he really does like to see the good in people and situations. If he chooses to remember the good rather than the bad that's perfectly fine."

She continues, "I am actually very happy to see Tom and Ariana [Madix] dating. I think while they maintained a (mostly) platonic relationship before, there was always something bubbling just below the surface. I think the fact that they had a brush with passion in Vegas only kept that fire burning. I had always felt that something more than a kiss happened, but at this point who cares? At least there were feelings and a true desire not just for sex, but for an emotional connection. I think sometimes people fall in love with someone even when they are in a relationship, and it's a messy hurtful process to sort out but when all is said and done, one has to follow their heart."

Katie reminds fans, "Kristen has always been suspicious about Tom and Ariana's relationship. It's something we have all been aware of and even questioned ourselves. This is also the reason I couldn't understand why Kristen continued to stay in a relationship with Tom. If I had a strong suspicion about my boyfriend and his female friend, I wouldn't stick around. I couldn't imagine staying with someone who I was certain had feelings for someone else. As for Tom, I think he should've recognized what was happening way early on and maybe taken the initiative to end his relationship and pursue Ariana…I have watched Tom and Kristen stick it out in a relationship that they themselves deep down knew was over. With that said, I wouldn't be surprised if they did get back together. More of me feels like this really is the end though."

Touching on her kinkiness and alcohol intake, Katie admits, "If I was asked who was the kinkiest of the group, I would never say myself. In Stassi's eyes, I guess I am though. I would say I am moderately kinky. We all like to spice it up a bit, maybe I do more than others. That part of me will always and only just be displayed for my man! This entire season it's been hard having people point out my drinking. When Andy addressed it once again, I wasn't any prouder. I am actually thankful, even through my shame, that I have been able to witness myself in that way because now I know that reaching that level of intoxication could and has an impact on my relationship. It was publicly broadcast. I could not hide from it or lie about it, I really had to take a hard look at myself and own it and learn from it."

Addressing her loyalty to Stassi, Katie claims, "Stassi has absolutely no control over me. Stassi is my best friend, my loyalty is to her within obvious reasons. I wouldn’t go jumping off a bridge because she told me too. I saw my best friend betrayed by two of the people closest to her. Doesn't anyone realize the toll that takes on a person? My heart ached for her. I was having my own personal struggle with my feelings towards Kristen. I felt that my friendship with Kristen was poison to my life. I still cared deeply for Kristen and my heart ached for her as well, but what it boiled down to was me making a healthy decision about my friendship. It didn't help that right after the truth about her and Jax surfaced. It did confirm for me that I did make the right decision to cut Kristen off though. I realize that everyone wants to think that I'm not friends with Kristen anymore because of Stassi and I will relinquish that to them. They aren't entirely wrong. Let's face it besides my own personal feelings, if someone f—s my best friend over in such betrayal and destruction, regardless if they are my friend or not, of course I am going to have my best friend's back. And if that person is also my friend, than why in the world would I in the right mind continue to trust that person with my friendship?"

As for Kristen's emotional state, Katie believes, "I don’t think 'being mad about how in love you are with someone' is a real thing. I think it's more 'being delusional about being in love with someone.' I think Kristen was addicted to her relationship and was constantly trying to convince herself and justify all her reasons for wanting to stay in it. My brain doesn't process these things the same way, so I had a really hard time supporting it. My only advice was to get out."

Katie is quick to state that she's also done with Jax. She asserts, "I'm not friends with Jax. During the reunion Jax was speaking about Schwartz and saying he doesn't get to see him anymore because of me. I started to say 'I don't have a problem with you. . .' and then was cut off for the 3469058 time. But what was following that was '. . . I don't have a problem with you hanging out with Tom or being his friend, so I would like to not be held responsible.' I actually felt bad for Kristen in this moment because she seemed to really have no grasp on reality. First of all Jax was never my best girlfriend like Kristen was. How can she say she doesn’t really understand why I have a problem with her? It's simple, our friendship was tumultuous and I was over it. She lied to my face, she was a complete mess for months on end, and refused to be an adult about her life and just cried about it, then she did something completely unforgivable and repulsive. Any other questions?"

Concluding, Katie explains, "I can never look at Kristen the same again. I couldn't believe my ears when Kristen was proclaiming her maturity and how adult she is — and then acted like a little punk teenager brat. It was so tactless to attack Ariana and then in the same breath talk about screwing Jax. The hypocrisy was unbelievable. I don't think there is any correlation between Ariana's and Tom's relationship and her decision to be on the show. I think Ariana was a natural fit in addition to SUR. When rumors of Jax and Kristen started flying I think by default Kristen projected everything on to Tom and Ariana. I don’t think it was so calculated of her, she just wanted to play the victim card as long as possible. Of course, Kristen stormed out. I was expecting it. Kristen has such a skewed idea of herself. In what way was she exemplifying any maturity. She really needs to learn how to get a hold of her emotions."

Um, is it weird that I kind of want to be friends with Katie now? Drinks are on me (though, I hope not literally)! 

TELL US-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF KATIE'S BLOG? DID YOU EXPECT HER TO MAKE SUCH LOGICAL ASSERTIONS? 

[Photo Credit: Instagram]

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