Vanderpump Rules’ Stassi Schroeder celebrated turning 30 with an amazing winter-themed birthday party. Both Stassi and birthday twin Ariana Madix dressed alike and wore crowns and sparkly makeup. The party was chill, and everyone got along. Then, Stassi experienced her annual birthday melt-down. She texted and called her boyfriend, Beau Clark, over 70 times, even though they were both in the same house. What incredible self-control, Stassi!
Earlier that night at the party, Beau also endured shared some quality time with Stassi’s mother, Dayna Schroeder. Beau was treated to Dayna squeezing his booty in front of Stassi. Awkward!
The morning after her birthday meltdown, Stassi has some amends to make with Beau Clark. Stassi’s hangover face, puffy and red, has aged her 15 years yet she’s still drinking a beer for breakfast! It’s like one of those aging apps that shows what you’ll look like on your 50th birthday.
Apparently Stassi’s telephone harassment of Beau escalated to in-person harassment. She stormed back into the party to demand he come to bed with her immediately. And in response Beau cried. The next morning he whines that when Stassi yelled it felt like getting “dick punched” in the heart. Do dicks punch? I hadn’t known. Oh, maybe Beau means like being punched by an actual dick. Someone like Jax Taylor, perhaps.
First Stassi has to make amends with Beau Clark after drunkenly calling him, texting him, and screaming at him during her party. Thankfully, Beau loves Stassi but he is not willing to put up with her antics.
Whew! Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was packed full of drama, wrapped in Stariana’s delusion, and doused with the warm flat remains of Tom Schwartz‘s Coors Light after he passed out in some random person’s house.
Lisa Vanderpump will be working to stop Yulin forever. To accomplish her goal of replacing all people in the world with dogs she requires each SURvian to own at least one canine. Even James Kennedy, who gets left out of everything, is not exempt. And guess what – to demonstrate what a topsy-turvy world this is, his dog is the cutest. The only exception is Scheana Marie, who has a cat. Because Scheana is more of a pariah than even James, and obviously has to own a me-centric animal (true confession I am a cat person).
Everyone meets at Vanderpump Dogs to put a temporary tattoo on their face and get a photo with their pooch, then post it on Instagram. Including James. Whose firing is the talk of the pound as he strolls through the door with Raquel Leviss by his side.
Tonight Vanderpump Rules returns after it’s holiday hiatus. And I am ready for it!
Last time we saw this crew of geriatric bartenders and former bartenders, James Kennedy was sobbing over being fired by Lisa Vanderpump for fat shaming Katie Maloney. It’s a sick, sad world indeed when Katie is allowed to give ultimatums and Lisa capitulates. However, it seems like Lisa she realized the error of her ways. I mean, nobody really wants to put Katie Jong-Un in charge of anything!
How could anyone ever pick a fight with Brittany Cartwright? Sweet, Southern Belle Brittany Cartwright. It just seems unfathomable, but it actually did happen. The scuffle actually went down mid-flight.
Why isn’t Peter Madrigala full-time cast member on Vanderpump Rules? He has a been around this whole time and he is an integral part of the friend group, yet he’s not a part of the drama. Then again, he might actually have the best situation out of all of the cast members. Peter benefits from being a part of the show, yet he’s not obligated to share his innermost secrets.
In short, he gets to experience some of the best aspects of being on the show without suffering as much as the full-time cast members. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that the fandom isn’t super intrigued by Peter’s personal life. Honestly, it just makes the viewers want to know more. Come on, he dated both Stassi Schroeder and Katie Maloney, yet he seems to have zero drama in this group. That is just so fascinating. Would there have been some Peter drama if Vanderpump Rules started filming earlier? Possibly!