On last night’s Vanderpump Rules Tom Sandoval got bit by the itsy-crazy spider and lost his head. That spider was the black widow of man-sanity!
Charli Burnett and Dayna Kathan are both finishing their training at SUR. While Charli is feeling right at home in the bosom of Scheana Marie‘s attentions, Dayna is feeling ostracized. Being called a mini Scheana Marie is definitely NOT a compliment, and considering that Charli claims she’s never eaten pasta she is not gong to fit in well here because it is literally ALL about the pasta!
Scheana is trying to play mind games with Dayna by pretending the still has her acrylic claws into Max Boyens. Scheana shows up at SUR to pick up a uniform and announces that she’s going to crash boys night to confront Max for calling her “boy crazy.” Because nothing says ‘I’m completely sane and not at all desperate’ like wearing an ill-fitting, cleavage baring dress and interrupting a bro-down to discuss about relationship boundaries with a person you’ve never had a relationship with outside of sending him a stalking device FOR THANKSGIVING.
Vanderpump Rules is back tonight for a brand new episode. After years of tension without an obvious cause, Stassi Schroeder and Tom Sandoval get into an explosive fight during tonight’s episode. Tom pulls a Katie Maloney and sends out some rage texts after he’s excluded from planning Stassi’s book signing at TomTom.
In other news, Tom Sandoval and Jax Taylor are still at odds. This leaves their best friend Tom Schwartz stuck in the middle. Schwartz tries his best to mend the problems between his two best friends before the cast Miami trip, but I feel like his efforts aren’t going to work. At least in the long-run.
We are only two episodes in with the current Vanderpump Rules season, and it’s already shaping up to be the girls vs. Kristen Doute. Yes, I know that not every woman is involved in this feud, but Katie Maloney and Stassi Schroeder are over Kristen’s confusing relationship with Brian Carter and the feud is eclipsing the season.
Lala Kent even got up in Kristen’s face during the premiere episode to share her opinions. It’s unclear what happened throughout the course of filming, but as of this moment, in the present day, Kristen is still on the outs with Stassi and Katie, her longtime best friends.
Vanderpump Rules has found itself at a crosshairs. Last night I witnessed Jax Taylor and Katie Maloney behave like mature-ish adults as they attempted to set some reasonable boundaries with Kristen Doute and Brian Carter about how their toxic codependency is affecting everyone else’s lives.
I mean I know Jax was just cosplaying the dad from Family Ties because he’s about to be a married
adulterer adulter soon, but this show is not supposed to be about capable adults acting accordingly. Vanderpump Rules is supposed to be about drunken, unhinged twenty-somethings who screw, scheme, and cry their way through terrible choices and still emerge with flawless skin.
On that vein, absolutely nobody cares about Jax’s wedding to Brittany Cartwright. Brittany sincerely believes everyone is as invested in her bridal registry and knot.com page as she is. Also this wedding that she’s planning has absolutely nothing to do with Jax, who might as well be a rent-a-fiance from some Hallmark Movie about proving to your judgmental small town relatives that you’re not an unmarriageable career woman, repugnant to blandly attractive men in tight sweaters. This wedding is about Brittany living out her fantasy, and her friends would rather let her merry hijack them than Kristen’s misery. I don’t blame them!
Last night was the season 8 premiere of Vanderpump Rules, and honestly EIGHT YEARS. EIGHT YEARS! You’d think these people would’ve grown up some, but alas here they are, still filling squirt guns with tequila and fighting about who’s a bad friend.
For many a’seasons I’ve been saying it’s high time for a cast change; one which acknowledges and reflects that the OGs are, well, missing the natural collagen in their faces and therefore no longer eligible to play the role of struggling bartender straight off the bus from St. Louis. Last night Vanderpump Rules finally paid credence to that, and it almost felt as if we were going into this season with the realization that it would be the last for the original crew. I’ll wear sequins to their funeral, play Solid Gold in downtempo, and drink PumpTinis with the rims salted with dehydrated tears.
A new era of Vanderpump Rules is upon us. The “kids” we’ve been watching for seven seasons are all grown up. Well, sort of. When Season 8 kicks off, Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright are planning their wedding and getting settled in their new home.
Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz invite everyone over to celebrate their new house. Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix abandoned their apartment for a house as well. But, the new season isn’t all about real estate and maturity.
Even though zero episodes of Vanderpump Rules Season 8 have actually aired, fans are already aware of a major storyline: Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute are feuding. Katie Maloney is in the mix as well, on Stassi’s side, of course, but the “Kristen vs. Stassi” narrative is getting a lot of play in the pre-season chatter.
Fans were suspicious when Kristen was noticeably absent from Stassi and Beau Clark’s engagement festivities. Stassi’s mom Dayna Schroeder even confirmed a rift between them. Then, Stassi went wedding dress shopping with Katie and Brittany Cartwright with a shout out to Lala Kent, who couldn’t make it, but zero mention of Kristen in the photo captions. Eventually, Stassi said she was “taking a break” from Kristen and Kristen commented as well. Now, Lisa Vanderpump is weighing in on the feud. We all know she hates Kristen (almost as much as she dislikes Kyle Richards). She even has Kristen blocked in her phone and on social media. So, it’s pretty obvious who LVP is siding with on this one. But, let’s see what the Pump Rules matriarch has to say.
Stassi Schroeder is finally getting her happy ending with Beau Clark. There’s no doubt that Stassi has been through it when it comes to relationships. We first met her on Vanderpump Rules when she was dating sociopath Jason Couchi Jax Taylor. Then after Vegas Girl pregnancy rumors, and a second try, Stassi ditched Jax for Frank Herlihy (seriously, remember that douche?). That relationship cost Stassi her dignity and boss, Lisa Vanderpump, $900.
Now she’s getting married to Beau, who by all appearances seems to be a good person. Stassi’s engagement is likely going to be documented on Season 8 of Pump Rules. If her birthday antics are any indication – it may be safe to say that Stassi is going to be one hell of a bridezilla! Her best friend and biggest enabler, Katie Maloney fully supports this behavior, too. Because, of course she would.