Our Lady of Class and Sophistication is whining defending herself over some brand new pics that have popped up. Hi Brandi, if you didn’t already know, the internet is a thing. And when you have been struggling to stay relevant on a reality television show, paparazzi tend to take your photo when you go out in public. She isn’t exactly new to the game. So what on earth could have sparked such a dramatic response from a person known for not giving any f*cks? WAIT FOR IT!
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was all about redemption. In a Hollywood kinda way.
Stassi Schroeder is in peril. After years of having bad boyfriends and being able to blame, project and justify her own bad behavior as their fault for having worse behavior, she is now dating the man of her dreams and needs a bad girlfriend detox. Enter Beau Clark: someone who does everything Stassi demands of him, entertains her endlessly, cedes to her tantrums, and accepts that even when Stassi is wearing a mini skirt, she wears the pants. Basically she’s a queen dating the court jester.
But winter is coming and that winter is Stassi’s demand for unwavering sycophancy and the lashing of her evil tongue when Beau doesn’t capitulate. Last time it ended in eczema and tears, but what if someday Beau decides he can no longer take being a battered boyfriend, aka the future subject of a Lifetime Movie?
They could very easily change the name of Vanderpump Rules to Everybody Hates James. Oh, just kidding, the cast doesn’t want him to get any more attention than he already does. Ironically, the constant James Kennedy bashing just gets him more attention.
After getting disinvited from the cast trip to Mexico, James and his girlfriend Raquel Levissinvited cast members to a puppy pawty. Yes, that’s actually how they spelled it. It was actually a puppy shower, for a dog that’s already been born. Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright rejected Raquel’s invite to her face. And it was so awkward. Poor Raquel. No one wants to film with her go to her party.
And then we have the epitome of married bliss, Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney. What a perfect example of true unity, am I right? I picture them holding hands, happily skipping through a field of edibles wildflowers, and toasting each other on being the forefront of #relationshipgoals. So what is the secret to their love that shines so bright? I’m not entirely sure we want to know…
However, Lindsay wasn’t around as much in the boss role like Lisa Vanderpump. Instead, the witty and fabulous Panos Spentzos was in charge. Andy Cohen, get Panos his own show stat! There’s no word yet if Lindsay’s show is going to get picked up for a second season. But if it does, it doesn’t seem like the cast of Vanderpump Rules is shaking in their boots. Especially Scheana Marie.
Last night’s Vanderpump Rules was one of the most boring and utterly pointless (re: contrived) episodes we’ve seen in a long time. Clearly this season is running out of steam if the major happenings are Raquel Leviss trying – and failing – to invite people to a “Puppy Shower” for her dog, or Lala Kent having a low-grade panic attack after too many edibles drinks in Mexico.
Like really, how many times can we watch Stassi Schroeder and Beau Clark have the same whiny crying fight with their puffy hung-over faces and snotty tears? UGH. How many times can we watch Katie Maloney make fun of Tom 2‘s dick. I mean, we get it – sometimes it’s invisible, other times hidden behind a mini bag of Lays Potato Chips. And honestly how many times can we watch James Kennedy grovel for acceptance and forgiveness? James let your self-esteem be like Tom 2’s peen – a grower, not a show-er.