Last night was the premiere of Kandi's Wedding. Unfortunately what is supposed to be a joyful occasion for the couple has been usurped by drama and negativity! Of course Mama Joyce is doing everything in her power to destroy Kandi Burruss' happiness; from telling Kandi she's fat, to accusing Todd Tucker's parents of being a retired pimp and ho. Seriously Mama Joyce said Todd's mother Sharon was a former "working girl" who had trained Todd to hustle for Kandi's money. And Todd's now deceased father was once her pimp! If I were Sharon I would be getting an attorney on the phone immediately! #LawsuitByBravo
Other than Mama Joyce, Kandi's BFF and bridesmaid Carmon has been shoved into the role of impromptu wedding planner. Kandi tells her team (which includes manager Don Juan) that she wants to plan her entire Coming To America themed wedding in 5 weeks – and to save money (since Kandi is a girl who loves a deal!) she's decided to skip the high-priced wedding planners and rely on her assistant/bridesmaid Carmon and another employee, her event coordinator Johnny who has done a few simple weddings in the past. Oh lord – this spells trouble in both Zamundan and English!
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Speaking of speaking English, isn't it nice to watch an Atlanta wedding special where the word bridesmaid is said correctly. You know, brideSmaid instead of 'bridemaid'? I'm looking at you, NeNe Leakes!
Anyway, Kandi has huge aspirations, but on, as Todd describes, " a Budweiser budget." She also has a shotgun wedding headed to the courthouse timeframe. Are you pregnant, wedding dress designer Reco Chapple asks urgently? Nope – she's just gained 30 lbs, which Mama Joyce blames on Todd. Apparently he's been tying her down and stuffing food down her throat and then when she's too fat to move he'll run out and spend her money, dating Carmon in secret. With all her conspiracies Mama Joyce oughtta work for the Sci-Fi channel instead of Bravo! Also, she's been watching too much Game of Thrones!
Since Mama Joyce still believes Todd could only love Kandi for her money, Kandi visits her two favorite aunts, Bertha and Nora. Bertha's daughter Weenie (no joke!) will be a bridesmaid since she and Kandi grew up like sisters. After spending time with Todd and his mother (the former 'working girl' who took to the streets at 2am for her hustle – per Mama Joyce!), Bertha and Nora have changed their minds. They like Todd and they realize that he makes Kandi very, very happy so they are now supportive of the wedding. Nora and Bertha are the best Bravo extras ever! I love them – they need their own spinoff or at the very least their own segment of The People's Couch!
Nora assures us that not only will she be at the wedding, she plans to get drunk. And Bertha suggests Kandi try the "ghetto punch", an intoxicating combination of pineapple juice, ginger ale and sugar. When you add the sugar, the whole thing fizzes right up! What happens when you add champagne – I think you have a Coming To America Kandi Style signature wedding cocktail!
Bertha and Nora promise to work on Joyce in getting her to accept Todd, support the wedding, and remember that Kandi's happiness comes first. They all go out to lunch where Mama Joyce says emphatically that she is not "gaining a son-in-law", denies that he loves Kandi, and accuses Todd's mother of being a lady of the night who only taught him one thing: gold digging. I think Mama Joyce has Todd's family confused with the Kardashians.
Kandi pays a visit to her wedding dress designer, Reco. Coming along are her stylist Kwame (Kandi has a stylist… never would have guessed!), who is also a "bridesman", and her friend/bridesmaid Tan. Right off the bat Tan and Kwame openly doubt what Reco can produce. Apparently one time he dressed Kandi like Smurfette, he is not helping things by producing blue lace as one of the wedding dress sample fabrics. Before Kandi can even reconsider Reco says the word "free" – as in gown and bridesmaid gowns will not cost Kandi anything. And Reco is hired! #TaxWriteOffsByBravo! Tan looks petrified.
Carmon skipped wedding dress designing probably because she has PTSD from the last time she attended an event with the words "Kandi'" and "Wedding gown" in the title. If you recall, Mama Joyce tried to beat Carmon in the bridal boutique! Because of all of this, Carmon really doesn't want to be involved in the planning of Kandi's wedding. She's worried she'll be blamed for anything going wrong and frankly she's still wary of Mama Joyce!
Back at home Carmon's dissatisfaction is obvious as she sulks through organizing invitations for Kandi and Todd's big day. Kandi wants wildlife in cages (lions, tigers, monkeys), fancy wedding scrolls, and African dancers, but they've only got a month left before the big day so scrolls are out!
Todd comes in to check on progress and calls Carmon out on her negativity. He feels she's not even trying to make Kandi's dream come true. Carmon tells Todd she doesn't want to be a wedding planner and that she's also worried about jeopardizing her friendship with Kandi. Todd reminds her that it's her job and her friendship with Kandi doesn't matter when her job comes into play. He's harsh and clearly has no problem being the bad guy here, I think he did it out of love for Kandi, but it wasn't a good idea for him to get involved with Kandi's employee! Carmon takes things badly and storms off.
Carmon sends Kandi a text basically announcing she's quit and won't return Kandi's calls. Before Kandi can deal with Carmon drama, she deals with Mama Joyce. Joyce continues to tell Kandi she's fat and being used by Todd for her money. Apparently Kandi is too stupid to realize she's marrying the son of a prostitute who has the hustle in his blood. And according to Mama Joyce her own value is what's in her wallet. Mama Joyce then tells Kandi her ass is too fat to fit into a size 6, which I'm not necessarily disagreeing with but, ouch! Also, Mama Joyce's kitchen looks like it belongs on Hoaders!
Back at home, Kandi still seems happy despite all the drama but then Carmon arrives to discuss the status of her employment and her friendship with Kandi. Carmon is really upset about all the rumors Mama Joyce has spread about her around town, and now she's also being "abused" by Todd. She basically says she doesn't want their friendship to fall apart over drama with Kandi's wedding. She believes Kandi and Todd were talking about her behind her back and Kandi had Todd do her dirty work.
Both of them cry, but ultimately Carmon quits. She stays on as a bridesmaid and hopefully will have her job back once wedding planning is over. It's interesting that everyone on this show claims their intentions are to fight for Kandi's so-called best interests: Carmon, Todd, Mama Joyce, her friends, but except for Kandi's aunts no one seems to be realizing that Kandi is happy and everyone should just relax and support her.
[Photo Credits: bravoTV.com]
TELL US – WAS TODD WRONG TO GET INVOLVED WITH CARMON? IS MAMA JOYCE COMPLETELY OUT OF LINE?