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Who knew there would be a multi-part Little Women: LA reunion? Not this girl! Well, it’s happening. And part one was full of blaming and finger pointing and drama-rehashing…and that was just from the Terra Jole.

Hosting the first hour of the LWLA reunion is Tanika Ray. Since seating arrangements at reunion shows typically speak volumes, it’s noteworthy to point out that Tonya Banks and Terra Jole are seated by themselves on one side of the room while Christy McGinty, Briana Manson, Elena Gant, and Traci Harrison are arranged on the other couch. Terra is very pregnant (and filming new show Terra’s Little Family) and scenes flashback to her pregnancy journey. Terra explains that she’s hopeful her baby is healthy – and we do now know baby Penelope is just fine! Yay! Terra says she’s been feeling some extreme pain and she had a blackout recently, but the baby is growing normally and they’re okay. Christy says she’s excited for Terra, but Terra flat out says that she doesn’t think Christy is genuine in her well-wishing. Tonya is still mad that Terra told Elena about her pregnancy before her, but rest of the group calls out Christy for being an instigator (Ding! Ding! Ding!) for telling Traci (and everyone else) that Terra told Elena first. Terra accuses Christy of being fake, which she refuses to accept.

Christy is called out next for using and abusing the term “bully” all season to describe all of the women, especially Terra. Christy defines bullying as drama that happens repeatedly. She claims it’s in the dictionary. The dictionary in her head. Christy admits she’s actually been bullied in the past, but refuses to acknowledge the power and misdirection of the word she’s been using for general b*tchiness all season.

Looking back at – what else? – the baby race among all of the women, Traci and Christy comment on their struggles to get pregnant. From IVF to adoption, the two women have been at each others’ throats all season. Traci sadly reports that she’s had another miscarriage since the season ended. She breaks down in tears and says she wishes she would have tried to have children when she was younger. Christy says there is no baby race because I guess if you just say it’s so, then it’s so. She blames it on Traci’s insecurity, but Terra calls out Christy’s jealousy of everyone.

One of the most heated moments of the season, the argument between Todd and Joe (and Erik) at Tonya’s party, is rehashed next. We see Todd rushing Joe, Erik rushing Todd, Terra “oink-oinking” at Christy and Joe calling her Miss Piggy. Terra pipes up right away to say that the entire scene was Todd’s fault; he’s the one who got physical and attacked a pregnant woman, she says. Uh, I think our man Todd was coming for I-wear-my-sunglasses-at-night Joe, but if Terra wants to make it all about her, then so be it. Elena says it all stemmed from the bonfire where Todd and Terra had their initial fight. Christy admits Todd said some f’d up stuff at the bonfire and says she’s sorry he never apologized for that, but Terra is not hearing it right now. Christy reminds Terra of the f’d up stuff coming out of her and Joe’s mouths the night of Tonya’s party, but Terra is not hearing that either. So, looks like no resolution here. Terra does maintain that none of the men should have been brought into the mess in the first place. Christy agrees.

Changing gears entirely, we now see flashbacks to the entrance of Lila Call (who is now starring in Little Women: NY!) into the circle. We’re reminded that Lila once loved Joe, the heartbreaker, that Terra thinks Lila’s a ‘ho, and that Tonya called Lila a monkey ass. Terra still thinks Christy brought Lila into the group to stir the pot and calls Christy out for asking Lila about Joe’s, uh, *junk* just moments before bringing her to Tonya’s party. Terra also takes this moment to tell the viewing audience that Joe’s little Joe is not so little –as Lila described it. She says, and I quote: “My man has a Bud King Can! Sorry mom.” Eww. Please let that be the end of this topic discussion. She’s all class, that Terra. Huge pregnant belly in front of her and the words “Bud King Can!” coming out of her mouth. It’s like something you see on a lowbrow 40th birthday card. Christy says she and Lila are old friends and she didn’t think it would be a big deal to bring Lila to Tonya’s party. Sure, sure. Terra claims Lila is a total stalker. Tonya says she understands why a dildo is Lila’s boyfriend. Terra says that while she can’t say Lila has a mental problem, she has a mental problem. Lila’s texts to Joe in the past have teetered between Fruity Pebbles and Fatal Attraction so Terra wants to steer clear of her – period. Terra also responds to Lila’s accusation that she’s a home wrecker. She says, yes, she and Joe were in other relationships when they got together, but she feels no remorse about any of it. Tonya has no apologies for her treatment of Lila and is ready to insult her more to her face next time she sees her ugly mug. Which will be any moment now.

Commercial Break! Little Women: NY is previewed and it looks like Lila’s group of friends (which includes a little person dude!) is filled with juuuuuuust about the same level of wackadoodle drama that the LA ladies have brought us for the past two seasons.

It’s time to bring Lila out to the couch! It’s crickets in the room as Lila seats herself, then plays dumb about all the sh*tstorm of trouble she caused in LA with these women. She launches into a very sad story about being bullied in high school, but Terra cuts her off immediately and asks her what her problem is NOW, ‘ho! Traci accuses Lila of flying out to LA to try to break Terra and Joe up. Lila simply says to Traci, “I don’t even remember you.” HA! This chick is totally cuckoo, but she’s kind of hilarious too. Her weird Jedi-mind-trick-calmness in the face of the other banshees screaming at her just makes them want to scream louder. Tonya can barely keep her faux gold sequined self in her seat while Lila lazily looks around like she just woke up on this red couch. Tonya says, “She don’t remember nobody who don’t have a dick.” She tells Lila she KNOWS she only came out to LA to snatch pretty boy Joe right from under Terra’s thumb. Lila says there are two sides to every story and her relationship with Joe was “nice,” but Joe turned mean and vindictive about their past relationship once he got together with Terra. Lila says she and Joe did keep texting after Terra and Joe got together, but it was all “business.” Monkey ass business.

Terra is still pissed that Lila called her a home wrecker and claims Lila has said some crazy stuff to Joe over the past year…like she wishes he would die and that he caused his father’s own death. What the what!? Lila says Terra and Joe are lying about all of this. She never texted any such thing to Joe – drunk or sober – and suggests Joe might have changed the names on his texts or trumped up fake texts to get Terra riled up about Lila. Lila tells Terra that Joe “is not the guy you think he is. He likes women.”

And we’re left with that for now! On next week’s part two of the LWLA reunion, Tonya gets up out of her seat and heads in Lila’s direction…to serve tea? The men join the ladies on the couches to rehash their part in the big ole’ mess this season. And Briana’s ex-fiancé’ (but current boyfriend!?) Matt confesses that he cheated on Briana and has been arrested multiple times for domestic violence in the past. I guess there is enough junk here to fill more than a one-hour reunion special after all!

TELL US: WILL YOU BE TUNING IN TO PART 2 OF THE LWLA REUNION? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF LILA’S NEW LWNY SPINOFF?

 Photo Credit: Lifetime

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