Teen Mom 2 recap

Last night’s episode confirmed it for me: this season of Teen Mom 2 is too long. How many times can we hear the same stories retold over and over and over again?

Chelsea Houska is trying to get Adam Lind’s child support adjusted, Adam impresses himself, Isaac doesn’t want Javi Marroquin to leave, Leah Messer thinks she has her s–t together, and Jenelle Evans won’t let Nathan Griffith see Kaiser. Some of the story lines actually moved last night, though. Jenelle finally met with Nathan, Javi left for deployment, Chelsea has a new plan for Aubree’s name, and Leah gets a court date for custody reconsideration.

Last week, we witnessed Leah’s awkward dinner with Jeremy Calvert and this week we relive it through her recap to friend Kayla. Jeremy has no interest in Leah, but that’s okay, because Leah doesn’t want to be in a relationship. She needs time and is focusing on her kids. Tinder hookups don’t count. Right after telling Kayla that Ali will eventually lose muscle function in her organs, Ali falls off a swing. It’s a sad reminder that Ali’s condition will continue to deteriorate.

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Teen Mom 2 recap

Leah gets a bonus day with Ali because she’s taking her to Columbus, Ohio for a doctor’s appointment. Leah is “pushing along” Ali to get ready to leave, but stops everything when she gets an email from the court. Aggressively snapping her gum, Leah sits down and calls cousin Chastity to let her know she finally got a court date and to bitch about Corey Simms. Leah reminds Chastity that she has her s–t together, because if she says it enough times, it will become true. And even though she thinks what he did was unfair, she basically admits that’s the reason she got her s–t together. So, she should thank him, right?

Corey meets Leah at Ali’s appointment, where the doctor warns that Ali will continue to fall and advises they protect her head and use the power wheelchair. Then a hospital social worker meets with them to discuss changes to their custody and medical decision arrangements. Unfortunately, Ali was in the room for this conversation. Maybe it’s because Ali is so quiet, but people are always talking around her like she doesn’t understand what’s going on. I’m pretty sure Ali is the smartest one in her family and she knows exactly what’s going on.

As usual, Ali is traded off with no exchange of words between Leah and Corey, but they both stick around in the parking garage for a bit so they can recap what we just watched. Corey’s upset that Leah mentioned the new court date to the social worker in front of Ali and Leah thinks Corey was being a smart ass by saying the court date is in February when it’s actually in January. Leah tells Chastity that Corey is just pissed off because he knows she’s doing better. “I was down for a little bit, but that’s not who I am,” Leah proclaims, yet again.

Teen Mom 2 recap

Jenelle is going to meet Nathan to discuss dropping the assault charges against her in exchange for visitation of Kaiser. She invites David Eason to come along, but he’ll have to wait in the car because she already told Nathan he wouldn’t be there. What could possibly go wrong? She claims to want a civil conversation, but this is Jenelle, and civil conversations aren’t really her thing. Besides, it won’t be civilized if Jessi shows up and talks in Nathan’s ear.

David gets heated just thinking about Nathan stepping out of line. He doesn’t understand why Jenelle has to meet Nathan in person. When he needs to talk to his baby-mamma, he just picks up the phone. Well, when you have a restraining order against you, meeting in person is not even an option. Like a roided-out caveman, David threatens to kick Nathan’s ass if he raises his voice at Jenelle, because that’s a proportionate response. Adding to David’s greatest hits, he lectures Jenelle, “It doesn’t matter if he’s the father of your child or not, you’re with me now. It’s a slap in my face that you want to meet up with him.” If Jenelle were smart, she’d realize this is a red flag, but she’s not so she doesn’t and continues to bring this horrible man around her young impressionable sons.

Nathan seems so normal now that he’s with Jessi and borderline genius in comparison to David. Nathan tells Jessi that he’s going to meet with Jenelle, and he believes she will ask for the charges to be dropped in exchange for visitation rights. There’s no way Nathan figured that out on his own, but I’ll play along. He insists he won’t agree to it, though, because Jenelle needs to take responsibility for her actions. Then Nathan Googles David’s rap sheet and is rightly concerned that this guy is around his son, pointing out that he looks like a thug. This is coming from Nathan!

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At Barbara Evans’s house, Jace is helping Babs plant a tree. When he struggles with the tree, Babs shrieks: “What, are you weak?! That’s cuz you don’t eat vegetables!!” But she praises him when he gets the tree in the ground. Babs may be abrasive and she’s certainly not perfect (she created Jenelle), but she clearly loves Jace and it’s nice to see her spending time with him, as opposed to leaving him with a virtual stranger while she goes out to “dinner.”

Despite their previous conversation, Jenelle and David discuss, yet again, whether David will go with Jenelle to meet Nathan and wait in the car. It takes two segments and all the brainpower they can muster, but they finally decide David will go. Phew! On the way to meet Nathan, Jenelle expresses how mad she is that Nathan’s telling everyone she won’t let him see Kaiser. How dare he?! Now, instead of waiting for Nathan and Jessi to drop charges against her, Jenelle is supposedly willing to let Nathan see Kaiser if he has everything Kaiser needs, like a car seat. David, assuming his opinion matters, asserts that she needs to “point blank” tell Nathan that Kaiser needs his own bedroom. Because Kaiser needs a room to be dumped in when he screams.

Teen Mom 2 recap

When Jenelle and David arrive at the meetup spot, David feels like he’s “about to fill this whole street with upper cut.” WHAT?! Aside from that being completely absurd, why is he so upset? Literally nothing has happened yet! Jenelle goes inside to meet Nathan while David waits in the car. Nathan asks where Kaiser is and Jenelle says he’s in daycare for his daily dose of normalcy. Jenelle promises Nathan he can see his son if he proves he has everything Kaiser needs, such as a highchair and papers promising not to take him out of state.

Realizing the mess he’s walked into, Nathan gets up to leave, but Jenelle persuades him to stick around for more bulls–t. Nathan reminds Jenelle that she lives with a felon and he doesn’t. “He’s not a felon!” Jenelle defends. “He was not found guilty.” While he may have been found not guilty of his domestic violence charge, that doesn’t mean he was innocent. Also, he has a few convictions on his record and a restraining order preventing him from seeing his son. Not a good guy. Nathan accuses Jenelle of alienating Kaiser from his father and “playing daycare” with David. In Jenelle’s defense, what she and David do with Kaiser is far from being anything like a daycare.

After warning her she needs to make better decisions, Nathan asks Jenelle if he can bring Kaiser some presents on Christmas. Jenelle agrees to let him see Kaiser for Christmas and then turns on the waterworks, thinking if she cries hard enough, Nathan will agree to drop the charges. “I’m just trying to be a better person and let you guys see Kaiser, so I hope you guys do the right thing,” she sobs. Unfortunately, the manipulation seems to work on Nathan. He agrees to talk to Jessi about dropping the charges, claiming to have always cared about what’s best for Jenelle, and if the feeling had been mutual, things could have been different between them. If she cared about other people, her whole life would be different!

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Chelsea is trying to treat Aubree’s injured finger, but Aubree is having none of it. The joys of kindergartners! Chelsea talks wedding plans with Chelsey while they hang out with Chelsea’s giant dog and Pete the Pig. She’s thinking of having a destination wedding with a bunch of colors that go together. Chelsey thinks that’s, like, a smart idea. The MTV producers instruct them to try to be more interesting, so they start talking about Adam needing to pay more child support and being worthless. And they’re still boring! At least they didn’t have this conversation in baby talk. Or maybe they did; I wasn’t paying much attention.

Later, Aubree is drawing when Chelsea asks if she’s going to be in the wedding, but Aubree doesn’t care about an icky wedding – she wants Chelsea to get to the baby making! She thinks it only takes two days to make a baby, which depending on what you mean by making a baby, is either a woman’s dream come true, or tortuously long.   

Meanwhile, at Adam’s custody-worthy dream house, Adam has the same conversation with friend Tyler that he had last week with his boss. You know the one where Chelsea should work something out with him like Taylor Halbur did and hasn’t Chelsea noticed that he turned his life around? He has a career, house, and vehicle, what more could she want? Adam claims he’s paying literally double now (of what?) since he’s paying child support for Aubree and Paislee, but Randy Houska tweets that Adam has spent more on his dogs’ toys than three months of child support for Aubree.

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Later, Chelsea tells Cole DeBoer that Aubree’s ready for a little brother or sister and Chelsea wants to make it happen right away. Cole’s down with that – he has baby fever! Maybe that’s why he finds Chelsea’s dumb baby voice so endearing. Chelsea’s concerned that when she and Cole have the same last name, Aubree might feel left out. Does she feel left out of the Houskas? Doubtful. Anyway, enter the new storyline where Chelsea tries to have Aubree’s last name changed to a Lind-DeBoer or DeBoer-Lind, whichever will piss off Adam the most.

Finally something I care about happens – Pete the Pig does tricks! Aubree has him spin around and rewards him with a chip. Then she asks Chelsea if he can do “the other trick.” Chelsea tells Aubree to just have him give her a kiss, but I want to know what the other trick is!! Pete obeys and gives Aubree an icky kiss. Too cute! I’m okay with just seeing Pete the Pig do tricks during Chelsea’s segments for the rest of the season. Sure, throw the child support hearing in there, too, and the awkward custody conversation at Adam’s house.

Kail is making a surprise video for Javi’s going away party. She can’t think of what to say (how about, I love you and I’ll miss you?) so she grabs Lincoln hoping he’ll think of something good. Given that he’s two and has no idea what’s going on, he doesn’t have any suggestions, so Kail forces out, “We love you and we’re counting down the days until you get home.” Aww.

Teen Mom 2 recap

It’s Javi’s last night at home and tomorrow is the last time he’ll take the boys to school for the next six months. It hurts his heart that Isaac’s taking it so hard and Kail suggests he reassure Isaac that he’s coming back. Isaac climbs into bed with them and gives Javi huge hug. Javi pinky swears he’ll come home.

The next morning, Kail, Javi, and the boys are getting ready to leave for Philly for Javi’s going away party and his last night before deployment, but it STILL hasn’t hit Kail yet. I’ll give her a break on that; people cope with these things differently and I don’t know what it like to be in that situation. But, she should probably stop saying “this is what we signed up for.” She knows it bothers Javi, so she merely alludes to it this time, but Javi knows what she’s talking about.

At the going away party, Kail insists to her friends she’s not an “emotionless bitch.” I thought it wasn’t classy to say the b-word, Kail. Anyway, she’ll have feelings when he leaves. They went through a rough time and she hopes it’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Maybe not her heart, though; she wants Javi to realize what HE has. Then everyone watches the video Kail made of all his friends and family saying goodbye. The whole room is in tears, even Kail.

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The next morning, Javi, Kail, and the boys spend the last few moments together before Javi leaves. “I couldn’t say I had a dream before I met you,” Javi professes to Kail. “I was just by myself. I worked to get what I wanted, now I work to get these guys what they want.” If only Javi were this mature when it came to Jo Rivera.

Kail tells Javi his leaving finally hit her last night when she saw the video. As she cries, she reveals that one of her fears is that they may go through tough times while Javi is deployed and because he has a negative mindset, he may leave her for good. So maybe she does truly love and want to be with Javi! Everyone says their final goodbyes, all in tears except for little Lincoln. Javi tells Kail she’s his best friend, but she just commands him to be good and go to the gym when he has free time. Is she worried he’ll find a sidechick while he’s gone? “You’re my best friend, too!” he tearfully exclaims to Isaac, before reiterating the man of the house talk.

Photo Credit: MTV

Author: Hollie

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