What can be said about the Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunion except that everyone hates each other? In Part 2, Andy Cohen put on his “compassion” mask, to make faces more concerned than usual, because the main topic was relationships. And on this show ain’t none of them going well!
My favorite thing was learning that Phaedra’s middle name is “Creonta!” GIRL, hi! Actually Girl HEEEELLLLOOO! What a name?! And then Phaedra names her sons Dylan and Ayden – like the two most normal little boy names ever? HA.
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So, Porsha Williams did anger management and it’s the other women’s faults that it didn’t stick – they’re just haters and, no matter how many times Porsha has listened diligently to Taylor Swift, and tried and tried to absorb her sage advice, Porsha just can’t “Shake it off”.
Porsha whines that she’s bullied in the group, and the women only support her having more things go badly. Porsha claims even Cynthia Bailey bullies her in the group! Cynthia, who doesn’t even talk, and mostly just shakes her hair around while laughing at jokes no one else hears, and dreams of a world where Peter isn’t horrible, mushy, and made of broken bank accounts or busted bars. MMmkay.
Kandi takes offense to this because she has always been supportive of Porsha – even treating her as her own personal charity case and donating $5k to her on Celebrity Apprentice. Was this before or after the lesbian dramas?! Cause – huh?!
And since we never move forward, and haters always gonna hate, hate, hate on RHOA, Andy, again, wonders f Porsha has feels bad for assaulting Kenya and Cynthia. And Kenya crustily demands an apology – again.
Kenya is stuck in that twirl vortex, on her own tilting axis, and cannot move on! Maybe she can get a rich African to buy her an apology from Porsha? Word on the streets is that they’ll purchase anything for a Real Housewife in distress. (Does Andy have a Dubai Datebook account set up for his Housewives?).
But seriously Kenya – Dang – girl LET. IT. GO. This reminds me of how desperately this show needs new producers and recasting – we are just stuck on a broken Dance, Dance Revolution platform repeating the same moves over and over again!
Then it’s time to talk about Matt – aka Mulk; the incredible man child who used his strengths to break Range Rovers instead of carrying Kenya through the threshold to a wedding spinoff.
Kenya is embarrassed by the Matt-mess, and chalks it up to being crazy in love (and in all things?). She’s disappointed that she was such a bad influence to all the young girls and women who look up to her. [side eye]
Cynthia defends her effort to ‘fix’ Kenya and Matt because she was “getting afraid” for Kenya, and since Kenya was incapable of seeing the Mulk for the smashed windows and bent streetlights, Cynthia figured why not just try to help them learn to communicate. This makes no sense and is further proof of Cynthia’s unerring bad judgement when it comes to men! As if communication issues is why Matt was terrorizing limo drivers, unsuspecting manors, and instagram users in the dark night.
Well, like Humpty Dumpty, all the Bravos cameras, and all the Bravos producers couldn’t put Matt and Kenya (or Moore Manor) back together again.
Now Sheree Whitfield made a few good points about Kenya and her incidents with, well, every single person who’s ever come into contact with her – she does provoke, then cries victim. It seems like backpedaling to now say she wasn’t referring to Kenya’s issues with Matt, but with Kenya’s issues with humanity in general. Sheree also defends Porsha by arguing that Kenya had no fear about spending time with Matt, yet claimed to be scared of Porsha?
Kenya denies provoking Matt’s irascible behavior, but she does interestingly acknowledge that Matt and Porsha are “very similar.” Despite this therapeutic realization, Kenya still cannot find it in her heart to forgive Porsha for anything. Just like Phaedra can’t find it in her heart to forgive Kenya.
Kenya also denies doing anything wrong in revealing Sheree’s past abusive relationship. This was after Kenya chased Porhsa down the street to help her practice her “anger management” – like a parent teaching a child to ride a bike and letting go of the seat? and before she quacked like a duck to illustrate what BS comes out of Sheree’s mouth. Because Kenya never “taunts” people and all…
See this is where Kenya loses me every time. She goes all Krayonce and gets vicious and vengeful. She can’t take ANY criticism, or accept responsibility. Being friends with Kenya must be exhausting – like more tiring than TRX, but I think being enemies would be worse. It’s a toss-up of which guarantees you more frustration: it’s either kissing that Made In Mexico booty, or constantly kicking it out of your business?
And truly, I’m confused about this Sheree and Kenya mess. Other than finding this line of accusations of ‘outing’ someone’s domestic abusive situation disturbing. Sheree insists she’s never confided to Kenya about being in an abusive relationships, and Kenya menacingly references some mysterious lunch they had – off camera – where supposedly confidences were shared. Sheree insists they only discussed cheating.
I can’t really see Sheree ever opening up to Kenya about this since Sheree later reveals not even her own mom knew how bad things were with Bob, but even IF Sheree shared these things, it was done away from cameras, and shouldn’t be used against her in a Housewives feud. Likewise Sheree implying that Kenya provoked Matt into acting like a bull in a china shop is wrong wrong wrong.
Speaking of Kenya, she is dating again but won’t reveal who (another African prince?) and Matt is still stalking and harassing her via social media. He also left 3 magnum condoms in her car as a parting gift? Warning? Reminder of what she gave up? Then he listed Porsha as his WCW on Instagram. Despite practically being Matt’s twin in tantrums, Porsha is not interested. Two wrongs don’t make a right. And Porsha Palace does not have windows made of crackle glass.
Onto the next relationship that’s broke and not fixable: Phaedra and Apollo. Oh these two! Phaedra denies lying about her divorce, and presents “evidence” that it was finalized, and then he appealed it, which is where they are now. Phaedra has already paid him $100,000 in settlement and claims he was fully aware of the ongoing proceedings, and records will show he was in communication with the courts throughout. Kenya, of course, has not yet confirmed this so therefore it’s not true.
Phaedra continues to be evasive about why she never shared on the show, which is irksome and ridiculous – why go on a reality show if you refuse to be honest or transparent about your life?! And that goes for all the women. Simply say, I can’t discuss ongoing court matters, but we are going through the process. Instead Private Investigator Mama Joyce was off combing through archaic GA laws and contacting divorce attorneys! She oughtta hire Kenya, since they’re both just fascinatingly obsessed with Phaedra and Apollo. Or perhaps Kenya hired MJ to hunt down the goods since she has more gossip on Phaedra’s divorce than Fulton County Courthouse. We know Kenya is reading blogs, not novels, in her spare time!
Hilariously Kenya demands Phaedra “focus on the truth.” She oughtta start by taking her own advice and leading by example. Why is Kenya so invested in Apollo and Phaedra – I don’t recall Phaedra ever saying boo about Matt? I guess Matt was saying boo enough for the two of them, though. Kenya does need to worry about her own man issues and leave Phaedra’s be. Lord knows they both have enough problems in that department, so I guess that’s why all the projecting.
Also, was it me or is Phaedra losing her edge? She was all set to go in with the stupid BS that no one wants Kenya, a broke down condo converted into a townhouse bought by
Big Poppa a rich African for Kim Z his mistress, when Kenya clapped and cheered abut “rehearsed reads.” It’s like Kenya is her own reunion prop! The whole thing was just pitiful from both of them.
Poor Phaedra – she just wants to know why Kandi & Ko continue to “drag” her when she’s done nothing to them… so, in far more interesting developments, Kandi accused Phaedra of using her connections at the courts to get OLG Restaurant permits and paperwork delayed. As a result they’re just opening the week after the reunion!
Phaedra denies it and denies that she was helping Johnnie only to get back at Kandi, just as Kandi denies that she supported Mama Joyce asking an attorney about Phaedra’s divorce. So… the Real Housewives are now wasting our tax payer dollars, not just on their own legal and court dramas, but to fight their feuds and petty dramas? REALLY?!
Maybe “Creonta” is Phaedra’s alter-ego, and doing all her bad deeds. Girl HI!!!!!
Kandi is frustrated that Phaedra lied about and exaggerated the alleged bomb threat from her former client Drama. Despite saying she wasn’t afraid, Phaedra was simultaneously going around town telling people she hired a bodyguard. Phaedra maintains that’s just part of her regular crew – she always travels with security. Doesn’t everybody? No, no they don’t – Krayonce has apparently let her SECURITY! people go.
Happily Phaedra reports that despite what Kandi or anyone else believe, all charges have been dropped and Drama was released from jail shortly after the incident. I’m actually glad to hear this, because it seems like he needs some help.
And speaking of needing help, Bob Whitfield come on down! Bob wasn’t there last night, but the episode closed with Sheree discussing her painful marriage and his years of abusive behavior. He is terrible! It was mostly verbal and mental abuse, but at times it did get physical, and Sheree has spent years protecting Bob in order to protect her children.
Sheree never wanted this on the show and indeed kept it hidden for years and years – almost no one knows. Sheree hasn’t even had a conversation with her children, because all she wants is for her, Bob and the kids is to be able to get along and do things as a family, without the sharp sting of the past tangling them up like the tentacles of a jellyfish.
Sheree isn’t sure if her kids saw the episodes which featured Bob admitting to choking Sheree, then laughing about it the following day and she cries about how ashamed she is to have considered giving Bob another chance.
The nice thing was that all the women – particularly Cynthia – were really supportive and kind. Cynthia encouraged Sheree to use this to empower and educate women, and also for Sheree to remember that she’s not Superwoman, and doesn’t have to hold it together at all times. I agree She By Sheree Fitness can do mind and body strong – and teach self defense. That would be an awesome way for Sheree to take this tragedy, and truly begin to heal.
Sheree, like Kenya, admits to being embarrassed that she stayed in the marriage, and protected Bob. In the end Kenya even offers Sheree a soliloquy about how strong she is, then gives her what seemed like a sincere hug. I’m sure next week she’ll be mocking her about the fridge running away from Chateau Sheree, and Sheree will be screeching about baseboards owned by a Rich African.
TELL US – DO YOU THINK PHAEDRA IS REPORTING OLG TO THE COURTS? HAS PORSHA LEARNED FROM ANGER MANAGEMENT? DO YOU WANT TO MEET KENYA’S NEW MAN?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]