Oh Jimmy Kimmel, you just inched up a few slots on my cool people list.
Last night at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, the comedian made Kim Kardashian the butt of several jokes. She and pimpmomager Kris Jenner saved face by laughing when the cameras panned their way, but I’m sure they were genuinely delighted to be the center of attention.
Aaahhh… Kim Kardashian, no matter how much you try to distract us with Kimye; your divorce is not going away! And to remind us of how skanky and greedy you are is Kris Humphries!
This past week Kimye enjoyed a PDA-laden dinner at Scott Disick‘s new restaurant RYU, which was of course captured on film for one of the umpteen Kardashian reality shows (for which they recently scored a $40M deal to create). While Kim is focused on making-out, Kris is still focused on annulling that embarrassing 72-day-lapse in sanity also known as his marriage to Kimmie Kakes. And allegedly, Kanye is now part of his plan for proving the Kardashians’ shameless ways!
“Kris was surprised to learn that Kim was including her new relationship with Kanye West on the show,” a source close to Kris tells RadarOnline.”The crux of Kris’ case for annulment is that Kim married him under fraudulent pretenses and did it for her reality show. Team Humphries wants to know if producers of the Kardashian reality shows were in contact with Kanye prior to the new couple dating or going public with their relationship and what those conversations consisted of.”
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Well, I have some unfortunate news, so I hope you’re all sitting down. The Kardashians will definitely NOT be leaving our TV’s anytime soon – or our pop culture lexicon. Despite Kim Kardashian‘s sham wedding (with accompanying very public divorce) and the tremendous negative backlash from the media and the public, American’s favorite famewhores have just inked a $40 Million three-year reality television deal with E!. So, if this doesn’t confirm that Kimye is a publicity stunt – really, I don’t know what would!
Yes, despite petitions, and threats, and absolute proof that their shows are staged crap – they will be back whether we like it or not!
Ironically the numbers for last season’s KUWTK averaged only about 3 M viewers per episode – on par (or below) with most Housewives, but apparently the Kardashians’ scandals and drama are worth their weight in gold for the network; which basically exists purely to broadcast the family’s lives. The deal does not include any new shows! So when Kim and Kanye West start pimping out their totally authentic romance, they will iron out their own deal. Which means more ka-ching!
The less famous and thereby second-rate family members, Rob Kardashian along withKylie andKendall Jenner will receive considerably less. Scott Disick and Mason also get a cut of the profit, but they have a separate deal with the network. You know Kris was trying to insure against any possible break-ups!
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Kim Kardashian and sister Khloe Kardashian-Odom hit the Woodfield Mall in Chicago to promote their clothing line they wouldn’t be caught dead wearing Kardashian Kollection line for Sears.
We had to contain the sheer awesomeness of their clothing and accessories in thumbnail size, so be sure to super size them in the photo gallery below by clicking each piece. Be warned, it’ll blow your mind.
[Photo credit: CM Wiggins/WENN]
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Can anyone REALLY “Keep up with the Kardashians“!? If we shared and commented on every story about them in the news on a daily basis, we’d have to rename the site to Kardashian Tea. In an effort to prevent any such name change, we’ll just touch on a few of the highlights of the day.
First up, Kris Humphries reacts to the news that Kim Kardashian wants to enter the political arena by running for mayor. As you might guess, Kris reportedly finds the whole thing laughable, but not surprising. Honestly, are any of us ever surprised by Kim’s attempts at grabbing headlines?
Radar Online’s source shared this week that “Kris was told about Kim’s plans to become mayor of Glendale as it was making news yesterday. He doesn’t watch any of the Kardashian reality shows on E!, but he is telling his friends that he isn’t surprised that Kim said that because he feels there isn’t anything she wouldn’t do as she is so publicity hungry. It’s just ridiculous and sad to him that Kim is so fixated on fame and celebrity. There is no way that Kim would ever move to Glendale though, she complained whenever she had to stay at Kris’ condominium in Hoboken, New Jersey. Kim said that Hoboken wasn’t exciting enough for her.”
Kris also joked that if Kim can land a job as mayor, that he has a shot at the White House.
Humphries, please don’t give Kris Jenner any ideas. You know she’s punching out campaign buttons for her Kimmie as we speak and would gladly shift gears to running her presidential campaign.
Moving on! The media can’t seem to make up its mind on Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom. One day they’re pregnant and the next, they’re not having sex and heading for divorce!
First up, a source tells Us Weekly that Lamar’s father was full of B.S. with his claims that Khloe was pregnant. It’s supposedly a complete fabrication.
Khloe and Lamar are allegedly heading for a split, not a baby. According to sources, the two are fighting constantly and aren’t even having sex, making conception a little impossible.
A source shared with Hollywood Life: “They’re not having sex. They’ve had a lot of blow-out fights that won’t be included on the show. She and Lamar are definitely headed toward divorce. They’ll be done by the end of the year.”
Khloe is also begging Lamar to go to counseling with her and promising that NO cameras will be involved in the sessions.
Why is it when things get REAL, the “reality” TV stars suddenly don’t want cameras around?
And finally, some NBA “experts” weigh in and state the obvious. Lamar needs to drop the reality show drama and focus on playing the game if he plans to continue his career in pro basketball. “If Lamar wants to get back in the game, he needs to keep working out. He needs to lose every distraction and focus on getting back the sixth man award.”
What do you think Lamar will choose? Basketball or a big glass of Kardashian Kool-Aid?
Khloe tried to squash the divorce rumors by sharing a picture of her having dinner with her man. Nothing says “we’re still in love” more than a strategy dinner meeting with the Pimpmomager.
TELL US – WOULD YOU VOTE FOR KIM? KRIS? WHAT WILL THE KARDASHIANS DO NEXT FOR A HEADLINE? DO YOU THINK LAMAR AND KHLOE WILL MAKE IT TO THE END OF THE YEAR WITH THEIR MARRIAGE IN TACT?
We’ll start with the fakest news. Kim has decided that her expertise in sex tapes qualifies her to be mayor of Los Angeles. Considering how many politicians have been in sex scandals in the last few years, Kim might actually fit in better than you would expect. In an unaired clip from her reality show, Kim tells sister Khloe Kardashian, “I decided…I’m gonna run for the mayor of Glendale…but it’s gonna be in like five years.” Kim is confident it can happen because the town is heavily Armenian and so is she! You can check out the video of Khloe and Kim discussing her totally real plans at Radar Online.
In more serious news, a source is claiming Kris Jenner is ruining Kylie and Kendall Jenner’s by lives by not letting them attend college. Do they know what college is? Just kidding! They do know what post-secondary schooling is; their siblings Kourtney and Rob did actually go to school.
The source says:
“Kris is ruining Kylie and Kendall‘s lives by not encouraging them to go to university. They both have expressed an interest in furthering their education but Kris is constantly shooting down the idea. She thinks if the girls go away to school, they will miss their window of opportunity and the public will forget about them.”
Kris wants the girls to get a reality show instead. To be honest, reality TV is more profitable than any college, so making the girls do a television show is a sound business decision.
And finally, I saved the best for last! Kanye re-titled his “Theraflu” song where he name-drops Kim and calls the new one “Way Too Cold.” A source tells US Magazine, magazine, he ”has been genuinely head over heels for [Kim] for a while.”
However, he’s quick to point out that he never compared Kim to Beyoncé, like a source once claimed. He told US Weekly, “Come on now, that doesn’t even sound like me,” and advised that fact-checkers should review his lyrics and social media account to verify any claims out there about him. ”If I don’t say something in a rap or on Twitter, it’s not true.” I have the same philosophy, so understand Kanye’s pain.
TELL US: WOULD YOU VOTE FOR KIM? DO YOU THINK KRIS JENNER IS RUINING HER DAUGHTER’S LIVES?
Ahhhhh… Kimye. By far the most annoying celebrity moniker and accompanying celebrity couple since Bennifer. Remember them? Right, I expect Kimye to end in about the same way. Broken engagement, huge drama, and non-stop tabloid coverage about how they’re still secretly in love with each other 45 years later. But who knows – they could end up as happy in love as Brangelina!
So, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have been parading their famewhoring love everywhere imaginable. And, apparently, things are going swimmingly for the couple. So swimmingly, that Kimmie Kakes has already shackled one of Kanye’s little swimmers to her uterus! That’s right folks – Kim just may be knocked up! I could have said pregnant, but that doesn’t start with a K.
“Kim is worried she could be pregnant!;” a source dishes. According to Star Magazine (via their print edition) Kim was recently spotted leaving a LA medical building with a contemplative look on her face. She could you know, be getting birth control or an exam, but that’s not nearly exciting enough gossip. The news is apparently joyful for the barely dating couple, as Kim desperately wants to start a family. So, anyone else think this is a complete publicity stunt? This has Kris Jenner‘s grubby little fingerprints all over it…
However, Kim is worried Kanye isn’t as rich as he purports to be! And before she moves forward wants a forensic exam of his bank account. “She wants to make sure Kanye’s worth as much she thinks,” the insider says. And if his pockets are deep enough, Kim will “move forward with the relationship.”
Unfortunately, things aren’t all wine, roses, and baby showers for the couple as they’ve already started fighting over Kim’s most favorite thing in all the world – money! “Kim really loves Kanye, but she loves money just as much – if not more!;” an insider reveals to Star. “She’s hoping that in the end, she’ll get both.”
Just last week the couple got into their first fight and it was over The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star’s obsession with his bank account. Wow – sometimes music does contain premonitions! #golddigger. “Kim is obsessed with money and it was starting to irritate him how it’s all she can talk about.” And during a recent visit to F.A.O Schwarz, witnesses overheard Kim badgering Kanye about his income. “She kept asking him about his touring revenue, the properties he owns and his savings,” a source reports. “Kanye finally had to tell her to back off and chill out. He told her she has nothing to worry about.”
Allegedly, Kim has some serious ulterior motives for dating Kanye – she wants to be taken care of! “She wants the kind of money where she can fly on private jets for the rest of her life,” an insider shares. And Kim is well-aware that since her business is built around her butt, she better have some insurance! “She knows she may not be able to work forever, so she wants a man who can ensure that she will always have the kind of life she wants.” Well, she has to stay married first!
Of course this all adds fuel to the speculation that Kim is in fact pregnant and worried about planning for her child’s future, but Kanye isn’t concerned. And he is protected. “He’s no fool,” an insider close to the star reports. And he already has a pre-nup at the ready! In fact, Kanye’s stepmother Dr. Cheryl West, says the rapper is more than prepared for the Kardashians! “I would not want him to be dragged into any foolishness, ” she warms. “But if you know Kanye, he knows what he’s getting into!”
And Dr. West is happy her stepson may be settling down. Even if it is with Kim! “If they love each other and are committed, kids would be a blessing,” she adds.
As for baby names, my suggestions would be Kween or King. Which fulfills both the insane Kimye ego and the use of the letter K! I’ll be trademarking Kween just in case these two decide to use it. Ka-ching!
Despite Kim’s probe into his wallet, Kanye is totally “obsessed” with her and not only lavishing Kim with attention! “Kim really hasn’t ever had a guy be so obsessed with her,” a source tells HollywoodLife. “She almost doesn’t know how to handle how much Kanye likes her. She has never felt this loved and it makes her feel good.”
“Kim flies to New York all the time and Kanye is loaded so it’s not hard for them to see each other,” the source continues. “He flew her private to Paris for his fashion show last minute — he’ll do anything for Kim.” Well, it sounds like Kim is getting her wish – money and love! And possibly a baby too. Anyone else slightly afraid of the potential E! specials!?
Finally, just in case you haven’t heard, Novartis Consumer Health, the makers of Theraflu aren’t on board with Kimye – nor are they interested in endorsing Kanye’s ode to Kim! “We in no way endorse or approve of the references or use of the image and likeness of Theraflu in this manner,” A representative told TMZ.
The company isn’t demanding that Kanye re-title the song or anything, but the rapper decided to anyway! Kanye has changed the name to “Way Too Cold.”And the company wants the world to know, that despite not wanting to endorse the song, they had nothing to do with Kanye’s decision! “Novartis Consumer Health did not ask that the name be changed — that request would be way too cold.”
PREGNANT OR PUBLICITY STUNT? IS SHE AFTER KANYE FOR HIS MONEY? DOES THIS RELATIONSHIP HAVE A CHANGE? DO YOU CARE?
During a speaking engagement this week, the Kardashian-Jenner patriarch shared with the audience the fact that he’s not thrilled with Kim’s new fauxlationship. “I’m not that excited, but we’ll see. Kimberly and I have had a conversation about them and their potential relationship.”
His wife, on the other hand, is purring at the “new” development in Kim’s life. Pimpmomager is reportedly doing backflips over the potential to extend their time in the spotlight, and feels this pairing will take them all Kim to the next level.
A source tells Radar Online: “She loves that they’re together and thinks Kanye is a huge step up for Kim after her marriage to Kris Humphries. Dating Kanye puts Kim in a whole new stratosphere. Kris was just a basketball player making a few million dollars a year, but Kanye is a world-wide multimillionaire superstar.”
Kim had an obscenely extravagant wedding to an NBA player—can you imagine what Kris J. could do with a rapper’s wedding budget?
In other Kimye news, Kris Humphries reportedly had an awkward moment at the Marble Lane restaurant this week. Kris was hanging out with his sister Kaela when ‘Theraflu’ started blasting through the sound system. You know the song, the one where Kanye admits to lusting after Kris’ then-wife and threatens that he could have Jay-Z fire him from the Nets team. Good times.