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Keeping up with the Kardashians

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It's that all-important special time again – time for the Keeping Up With The Kardashians Kristmas Kard! Behold: it's splendiferous, it's Kanye-less, and Kourtney looks thinner than Kim although she had a baby like last week.

I think Kris Jenner may be there? That very young and sassy woman sitting next to Kendall with the Pat Benetar hair cut is confusing me…

So congrats Photoshop you've worked your miracles again. 

[Photo Credit: E! Online/Nick Saglimbeni/kimkardashian.celebuzz.com]

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS YEAR'S KRISTMAS KARD? WHERE'S KANYE?

 

Is Kim Kardashian losing some of her male fanbase?

In the 2011 edition of AskMen's "most desirable" poll, Kim was at the top of the heap, ranking in at #8.  This year, however, is a whole different story.  Kim nearly fell off the poll entirely, landing in at #98 (out of 99)! 

The site polls over 2.4 million readers, so this isn't some tiny overview of males who just happen to be over Kim.  AskMen's editor James Bassil said in the press release  "Kim Kardashian is petering off and basically dropping off the list at this point even as she's become more visible."

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You know what they say, where there's smoke, there's usually fire…and when the same Kardashian rumors keep circulating again and again, there has to be some truth to them, right?  Once again there are rumblings of a fed up Bruce Jenner ready to divorce his pimp wife Kris Jenner.    I mean if Bruce has any lick of sense about him, he can't be happy in his marriage–especially if it's anything like we see portrayed on Keeping Up With the Kardashians

Of course, it has been kind of quiet on the Kardashian front of late, so the revival of marital discord gossip could be Kris' attempt at getting her name back in the media.  We all know she's really good at that!  These new rumors have Bruce moving daughters Kendall and Kylie out of the family home before Kris can railroad their remaining teenage years into reality gold.  They are daughters, not brands!

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The Kardashians rarely (ok, never) keep anything private. And joining in on the family's favorite extracurricular activity of making anything a publicity stunt, Rob Kardashian has taken to Twitter to discuss his relationship with ex-girlfriend Rita Ora

Among the scathing allegations the Keeping Up With The Kardashian star and wannabe sock mogul makes is accusing Rita of cheating on him with more than 20 guys! Uhhh… this is really something for twitter? Anyhoodle, let's take a look at Rob's public whining. 

Getting around the 140 characters rule, Rob posted a series of tweets beginning with: “When a woman cheats on you with one man I can live with that. People make mistakes, trust me. I have forgiven numerous times…”  

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I don't mean to be redundant, but I know I've said this before…bless Kim Kardashian's heart.  Seriously, bless it.  Not only does the mere mention of her name make people in the states automatically get a rash, now the Middle East is creeped out by her as well.  That's got to be a tough cross to bear, and I don't even care for her.  Yet I feel badly…must be the holidays.

As you all know, Kim has been touring Kuwait and Bahrain touting Millions of Milkshakes.  I'm sure President Obama is super excited about the amount of diplomacy that's happening with that situation!  Anyhoo, I'm sure poor Kim was thrilled at the opportunity to promote the dairy treats on the other side of the world while wearing the finest couture from the Kardashian Kollection and the tiny rapper's new shoe line.  Little did she know she'd be welcomed with protests and discord.  Of course, we probably all figured she would given her recent controversial (and likely clueless on Kim's part) tweets, but she was totally sidelined by her less than stellar welcome.  Damn you, Twitter!

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Kim Kardashian has kicked off her Middle East Milkshake/History tour.  The reality star attended the opening of Millions of Milkshakes at the Avenues Mall in Kuwait City yesterday. 

Kim had thousands of fans lined up, all hoping to catch a glimpse of her.  Is Kuwait starved for entertainment? Maybe they just really wanted a milkshake.

Anywho, let's dish on the real reason we're all here – Kimmie's wardrobe choice.  Hot or not?  Get a closer peek at the full ensemble in the gallery below.  What I noticed first is that her hands, face and arms are so pale and her legs are dark and a little orangey.

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Yawn.  It's like the most dramatic rose ceremony Kim Kardashian divorce ever.  How is it possible that the divorce proceedings are lasting three times as long as the actual marriage.  Why oh why can't Kim just admit that her marriage to Kris Humphries was for her reality show and spare us all the endless gossip and back and forth of this silly divorce?  I mean, part of me is glad she isn't…I like my job, but we all know Kim didn't really want to marry him for real life purposes.  The girl changes boyfriends/potential fiancés/randoms who may or may not be willing to walk down the aisle with her as often as I brush my teeth…and I have excellent oral hygiene.  Never had a cavity!

What bothers me most about this divorce isn't the ridiculousness of it all or even the drawn out nature and pettiness from both sides.  It is this:  The whole thing could be over and done with if Kim would just admit the marriage was for show.  Kris gets none of her fortune regardless…her prenup bars him recovery in the event of a divorce, and if there was never any marriage (which would happen with Kris' desired annulment), he has no basis for monetary gain there either.  You can't get alimony if you never had a marriage.  Sure, I guess they could find the prenup void and the marriage valid, but that doesn't work for the premise of my argument.  :) 

All Kris wants her to do is tell everyone what we already know…the wedding was for ratings.  Nothing more, nothing less.  I mean, she is literally laughing in our faces, thinking we are stupid enough to believe that it was a fairytale romance.  We watch your show, Kim.  You have more chemistry with the doormen of whatever building in whatever city you happen to be living in currently than you did with Kris.  Basically, I just don't like being played for a fool.  Kim, quietly admit to what we all already know and be done with it.  It could actually help your sad image more than the path you're choosing.  Off my soapbox and on to the divorce drama…thanks for indulging me!

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Egads!  A post where I actually have to exercise sensitivity…and about Kim Kardashian and her tiny rapper no less!  I guess now that it's officially the holiday season, I need to practice more kindness and goodwill, right?  Well, here it is.

While we were gorging on leftovers and shopping for major deals, Kanye West was facing a heartbreaking anniversary…five years since the death of his mother Donda West after plastic surgery gone horribly wrong.  Kanye, who has been fiercely protective about his mother's memory, has finally found a woman with whom he wants to share that part of his life.  That's a pretty big deal, if you ask me.  After the couple spent Thanksgiving with Kim's family, Kanye whisked his lady love to Oklahoma City to introduce her to his mom's family and visit Donda's grave site. 

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