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Keeping up with the Kardashians

Oh those Kardashians – add twitter to the mix and they’re a lethal combination. Kim Kardashian and the fam spend an exorbitant amount of time tweeting their “dolls”, but sometimes an ex-doll throws it back in their faces!

Recently Kim has been expounding the virtues of her new relationship with Kanye West and swearing she’s taking things slow and truly learning from her mistakes. I’m sure she hasn’t learned a thing, but pimpmomager Kris Jenner is sure making her pretend she’s turned over a new leaf!

The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star took to Twitter to remind her fans that she’s a whole new girl and her past indiscretions – you know the ones that have made her made her rich and famous – are, like, so 10 minutes ago!

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So what I’ve learned is that just because you rap it, it doesn’t make it real.  It seems we all could learn a lot from the illustrious Kanye West.

In Kanye’s song Cold he raps, “Lucky I ain’t had Jay drop him from the team.”  Of course, he is referring to his best buddy Jay-Z having girlfriend Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband kicked off the New Jersey Brooklyn Nets.

Today, after scoring a $24 million contract with the team, Kris Humphries tweeted, I’m up at Brooklyn! @ S_C_ ‘lucky I didn’t have Jay drop me from the team’ lol!”  TMZ reports that it is a two year contract with a pretty significant raise, given that his prior contract was for a year at $8 million.  Maybe Beyonce is in her team-owner hubby’s ear a little more than his rapping partner in crime…

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Just in time for my trip to the beach–the Jenner/Kardashian’s former nanny Pam Behan has released a tell-all book!  The book, Malibu Nanny: The True Adventures of the Former Kardashian Nanny, details Pam’s time with the family which began on Bruce and Kris wedding day.  She formerly worked for Bruce’s second wife.

The Huffington Post reports that Pam clearly loved watching the Kardashian brood.  When she began working for the family Kourtney was twelve, Kim was ten, Khloe was six, and Rob was four.  She maintains that the girls were very well behaved, although there was an occasional unsupervised party.

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Say it ain’t so!  If Kris and Bruce Jenner can’t last, than by God, who can?  RadarOnline.com is reporting that the couple, who has been happily married for twenty-one years (not all of them on television, thankfully for us), is on the rocks since Kris has been in contact with former paramour Todd Waterman.  He may be the same dude with which she cheated on past husband Robert Kardashian.  I kid, he’s totes the same guy she seduced during her marriage to her eldest paychecks’ daughters’ father.

Bruce was allegedly devastated when he walked in on E!’s latest scripted scene his wife e-mailing the object of her former affair.  What Bruce doesn’t know, according to the site, is that Kris was planning a romantic meeting with her old flame.

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Breaking news, y’all!  Kris Humphries’ friend/booty call/serious girlfriend (depends on who you ask) Myla Sinanaj does not have a bun in the oven.  It turns out that she was lying about it the whole time! the media just attacks girls with rounder figures.  Forget about the fact that she told both her attorney AND KRIS (!!!) that she was expecting his child, she tells TMZ, “I am definitely not pregnant.”  So how did these crazy pregnancy rumors get started?  Well besides the fact that she started them herself, Myla blames the media.  She explains to the site that people just like to start rumors, saying, “Of course, me not being a size zero kept it going.”  That, and you keeping it going…

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Kourtney Kardashian finally gave birth this Sunday after what seemed like the world’s longest pregnancy. It was perfect timing to coincide with a brand new episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Did I mention this week is a double-feature – there was another one last night. Coincidence much, Kris Jenner?

Kourtney and Scott Disick named their daughter Penelope Scotland Disick. And Kourtney delivered the 7lb 14ounce little girl in an all-natural (re: drug free) childbirth!

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The Kardashian family gained a new member this weekend!  Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick welcomed their second child, a baby girl that they named Penelope Scotland Disick.

Kourtney gave birth to Penelope on Sunday morning and shared with the media, “Scott and I are overjoyed to welcome our precious angel Penelope Scotland Disick into our lives. We are forever blessed. Mommy and baby are resting comfortably.”

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What don’t those Kardashians do?  They famewhore, they have babies, they say their vows for millions of dollars.  Thankfully today’s Kardashian story is actually about their half-sisters, the Jenners.

I really, truly do like to think that Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner are placed in this reality world due to default because of the woman who birthed them.  I honestly think both of these girls have great heads on their shoulders, despite being raised in the spotlight.  If nothing else their upbringing has taught them two things–how to be business savvy and how to avoid the pitfalls of their older sisters.  Why am I writing this diatribe?  Simple really…because Kendall and Kylie are writing too!  In fact, the teen sisters are penning a sci-fi fantasy novel!

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