Keeping up with the Kardashians

Kim Kardashian leaving her apartment

Kim Kardashian took a lot of heat recently when she put up some eBay auctions and shared that the proceeds were being donated to help victims of the typhoon in the Philippines.  But it was discovered that just 10% of the auction was earmarked for the charity and fans criticized her.  Kim took to her Celebuzz blog to defend herself over the controversy, using her mom's church and her other charitable acts as examples.

Kim wrote, "I feel compelled to speak about something that is in my head and my heart. Over the years, I’ve had to grow a thick skin. Being in the public eye, there are times I feel like I get criticized for any and everything I do. I’m used to it now. I just choose not to feed into negativity or become consumed by it. The problem comes in when I get attacked for giving and trying to help people. My dad always taught me the importance of giving back. I don’t publicize everything I do to help charities and people all over the world. I do it because I want to. I do because my dad taught me to. I do it because it’s the right thing to do. So for people to attack me for giving 10% of my eBay auction sales to the people of the Philippines, that hurts." 


Kim Kardashian celebrates her birthday

Ugh… I need to lie down immediately after writing this. Seriously – I feel faint and I feel disrespectful even addressing this malarkey. 

The first bit of news is not Kanye West's fault, save for the fact that it's totally believable given all the nonsense and highfalutin comparisons he's spouting. A self-described "Global Global Satirical Newspaper of Record" called The Daily Currant published a spam article claiming that Kanye referred to himself as the next Nelson Mandela. 

The quote, falsely attributed to Kanye, read, “Mandela was working in South Africa, which has, like what, six people? I started my magic here in the USA and then I took my business global. I liberate minds with my music. That’s more important than liberating a few people from apartheid or whatever.”



Bruce Jenner and Kris Jenner are separated but not really. In fact one could say they can't really get each other out of their hair – or their fish tanks

Bruce is reportedly being seduced with a multi-million dollar tell-all deal which will blow the lid off the Keeping Up With The Kardashians empire and expose all the dastardly deeds of pimpmama KJ. But before all that he's signed onto play a Kris-esque character in The Hungover Games! The movie is a spoof of blockbuster hits The Hunger Games and The Hangover and Bruce will play the part of a futuristic sports announcer alongside Hank Baskett

I would be concerned about Bruce's acting ability but he's been acting like he loves Kris for years, so… Anyway, you can catch a trailer of the of the film below. In it Bruce wears a wig that mocks his wife's idiosyncratic hairstyle and some atrocious lipstick that is probably Kroma Beauty! 


ben flajnik kris jenner

Just when I thought pimp momager Kris Jenner couldn't get any worse, she posts the above picture of herself on Instagram (captioned "Date Night"–gag) sporting tween duck face and dining with Francine from the PBS cartoon Arthur. On the heels of the tabloids covers touting a not-so-secret romance between the icky reality star and former Bachelor Ben Flannel, er, I mean Flajnik

And what does poor estranged husband Bruce Jenner think of all this messiness? For his sake, I hope he realizes that life is far better out of Kris' klutches. I wonder if he ever gets the itch to spill what he knows about loyal and doting wife. We all know if the tables were turned, she'd do it in a heartbeat!


Kim Kardashian 33rd Birthday

I can only say "bless his heart" so many times before I stop meaning it. I think I probably stopped meaning it about twenty "blesses" ago when it comes to Kanye West. The man's ego is out of control. I'd really like to sit down with him for just fifteen minutes to see if he really is as painfully egotistical as he seems. He could style me. I'd wear a crystal mask and report back the truth.  It's an open invitation, 'Ye. You can even bring Marilyn Monroe Kim Kardashian. No, no, don't bring her. Regardless, call me!

The tiny rapper has been especially douchetastic this week, throwing a temper tantrum on stage at a Florida concert and commissioning what I'm sure he considers to be the next, no make that the first and best, Mona Lisa. I'm sorry DaVinci, but Andy Warhol's niece? She's got the best painting of all time. Of all time! Bless his heart.


kardashian-christmas-card (3)

The Kardashian Christmas Card for 2013 has arrived and it's…mmm..arty? 

Keeping up with the Kardashians celebrated Christmas early last night with a holiday special on E! and they also released their latest Xmas card.  They left out several family members.   Featured on the high art concept card are: Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian along with Penelope and Mason, Kris Jenner, Bruce Jenner, and their two girls Kylie and Kendall.  Missing from the photo: Kanye West, Scott Disick, Baby North West, Lamar Odom (this one I understand).  None of Bruce's older kids have been featured in the past, but given Brody and Brandon's participation on the show this season, I would've almost expected their inclusion this year.

The Christmas card was shot by famed photographer David LaChapelle.  The photo is interesting and would've been unique in a magazine, but it doesn't seem to have anything to do with the holidays at all?  Dollar signs, tabloids strewn about, Bruce trapped in a tube.  It's so Christmassy and holiday-like, right? I'm sure Kanye would tell me I'm clearly not fancy enough to get the deep meaning of it all.



Delusionye strikes again, y'all!

I always assumed Kim Kardashian's new blonde hair was in an attempt to look like Beyonce, but nope – turns out that's not the right blonde icon. Because according to Kanye West, Kim is the new Marilyn Monroe. I really just cannot even dignify that with a comment except to burst out laughing. This is your brain on egotrip, kids! 

Speaking to Chicago's Power 105 Radio, Kanye continued to spout off in yet another insanity-laced rant. I mean it's bad enough he tried to say Kim is better than Michelle Obama (she's not), but now he's comparing his creativity to that of Disney innovator Walt Disney. “I’m more like, a Walt Disney or something.”


brody jenner

Not only is Brody Jenner pretty much as good looking as they come, he also doesn't kiss arse when it comes to his soon-to-be-former step-mom's side of the family. While he's clearly very close to half-sister Kendall and Kylie Jenner as evidenced on Keeping up with the Kardashians, he doesn't hold his tongue when discussing pimp momager Kris Jenner and step-sister Kim Kardashian.

In fact, Brody reveals that he may not even be invited to Kim's wedding to tiny rapper Kanye West. Oh well, I guess he can watch it on television with the rest of the free world!