Just when I thought pimp momager Kris Jenner couldn't get any worse, she posts the above picture of herself on Instagram (captioned "Date Night"–gag) sporting tween duck face and dining with Francine from the PBS cartoon Arthur. On the heels of the tabloids covers touting a not-so-secret romance between the icky reality star and former BachelorBen Flannel, er, I mean Flajnik.
And what does poor estranged husband Bruce Jenner think of all this messiness? For his sake, I hope he realizes that life is far better out of Kris' klutches. I wonder if he ever gets the itch to spill what he knows about loyal and doting wife. We all know if the tables were turned, she'd do it in a heartbeat!
I can only say "bless his heart" so many times before I stop meaning it. I think I probably stopped meaning it about twenty "blesses" ago when it comes to Kanye West. The man's ego is out of control. I'd really like to sit down with him for just fifteen minutes to see if he really is as painfully egotistical as he seems. He could style me. I'd wear a crystal mask and report back the truth. It's an open invitation, 'Ye. You can even bring Marilyn MonroeKim Kardashian. No, no, don't bring her. Regardless, call me!
The tiny rapper has been especially douchetastic this week, throwing a temper tantrum on stage at a Florida concert and commissioning what I'm sure he considers to be the next, no make that the first and best, Mona Lisa. I'm sorry DaVinci, but Andy Warhol's niece? She's got the best painting of all time. Of all time! Bless his heart.
The Christmas card was shot by famed photographer David LaChapelle. The photo is interesting and would've been unique in a magazine, but it doesn't seem to have anything to do with the holidays at all? Dollar signs, tabloids strewn about, Bruce trapped in a tube. It's so Christmassy and holiday-like, right? I'm sure Kanye would tell me I'm clearly not fancy enough to get the deep meaning of it all.
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I always assumed Kim Kardashian's new blonde hair was in an attempt to look like Beyonce, but nope – turns out that's not the right blonde icon. Because according to Kanye West, Kim is the new Marilyn Monroe. I really just cannot even dignify that with a comment except to burst out laughing. This is your brain on egotrip, kids!
Speaking to Chicago's Power 105 Radio, Kanye continued to spout off in yet another insanity-laced rant. I mean it's bad enough he tried to say Kim is better than Michelle Obama (she's not), but now he's comparing his creativity to that of Disney innovator Walt Disney. “I’m more like, a Walt Disney or something.”
Nobody seems to learn that Kanye West doesn't take it well when his art is made fun of! Seth Rogen and James Franco just shared this hilarious spoof of Kanye's music video "Bound2", with Seth playing the part of shirtless Kim Kardashian.
The two were working together on the set of their upcoming movie "Interview" and decided to take a little break. They recreated the Bound2 video shot for shot.
I hope Seth and James are prepared for the Twitter fury that Kanye is about to unleash on them. They should've consulted Jimmy Kimmel first. Although he didn't say much after the SNL spoof, did he?
Who can keep up with the ever-changing stories of Kim Kardashian and her kemistry-challenged love Kanye West. Seriously… Bound 2… cannot recover from the travesty.
But aside from all that, Kim and Kanye believe you want to see more of their photoshopped and forced relationship on TV, which is why they're probably planning a televised wedding. Of course. Somewhere Kris Jenner is STILL jumping up and down for joy!
Kanye has apparently had quite the change of heart since wanting Kimmie to share less of her personal life, because now he is definitely Keeping Up With The Kardashians!
Kanye, of course, has a lot of parameters about how a filmed wedding would go down. "If they choose to film the wedding, it will be filmed by them, not a TV crew. And they'd sell it to a network," a source tells Us Weekly.
Kendall Jenner turned 18 on November 3rd and wants us all to know she's officially an adult. And can share nearly nekkid pictures with her seven million Instagram followers anytime she wants to. Not that mama Kris would've ever stopped her before, right?
The Keeping up with the Kardashians star shared the above photo (minus the stars, of course) and wrote, "sneak peak of today's shoot with the amazing @nomadrj … can't wait for you guys to see the rest of the photos!" Kendall then showed off a whole lot of backside in another snap (see below). "Behind the scenes today.. literally lol."