I’m not sure what Southern Charm is attempting with its new introduction, but it does seamlessly help transition from one episode to the other. We’re still treated to the Charmers starting their day, but if I’m being completely honest, I could have done without a certain aging Lothario slothing around in his bathrobe and making googley eyes at his latest contender for child bride.
Thomas Ravenel and new lady Ashley are cuddling in bed as he praises her for having a “real woman’s heart”…whatever that means. Across town, Patricia Altschul calls Cameran Eubanks to discuss a co-ed baby shower. Pat and Cam bond over uncomfortable pregnancies, Cameran promises to provide a guest list. Patricia interrupts to say that since she’s hosting, she’ll compile the guest list. At Kathryn Dennis’ new apartment, the young mom is playing with Kensie and Saint. Only getting her kids every other weekend, Kathryn focuses on spending all of her time bonding with her toddlers. Kensie is an attentive big sister, ordering Saint around like it’s her job, and it will be for the rest of her life. My younger brother would say the same!
This week, The Real Housewives of New York hit the road. It’s time for everyone to assemble at the dinner table and give one another a verbal dressing down. Because this is what they do best, no? The ladies are heading to the Hamptons for Bethenny Frankel’s birthday, Carole Radziwill’s post-marathon soiree – hosted by Hamptons maven herself, Ramona Singer – and for the annual WWE match between Dorinda Medley and Sonja Morgan. Dorinda has been mainlining martinis in preparation for the event. Sonja has been taking her kaftans out of cellophane for the event.
Carole is driving up with Tinsley Mortimer and Dorinda. But the bigger point of contention is where she’s staying – at a hotel with Tinsley instead of at Bethenny’s Hamptons pad. Why? Well, we get two different answers. Carole says that Bethenny’s “got a full house” so she opted to stay elsewhere. But Bethenny claims she invited Carole, but thinks her ex-bestie doesn’t want to come over because Bethenny’s daughter will be there. “Carole needs a best friend really close to at all times,” says Bethenny, who presumes Tinsley is this new best friend. “They’re thick as thieves.”
Sadly, there was no rapping on Survivor this week, but that didn’t mean there weren’t battles to be had. Entering Wednesday’s episode, we were down to just 12 contestants left this season, and at last count I believe roughly 286 hidden Idols…give or take. For the newest member of this season’s Survivor jury, it had to be a frustrating end, since the person just couldn’t quite figure out what was making him/her a target. The larva grubs (or whatever the hell they were) weren’t the only things that were tough to swallow this week.
But before we dive in, as I do at the beginning of every Recap, please heed the following: Remember that this recap assumes that you have already seen this week’s Episode 9 of Survivor: Ghost Island, so if you have not and don’t want to be spoiled, please come back later! It’s important to add too that while we WILL hit on all of the important developments of the episode, this is not a linear “blow-by-blow” recap, and is more of a discussion and reaction of what we just witnessed together.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR MORE, AND THIS IS YOUR LAST *SPOILER* WARNING!
All-in-all it was a pretty lackluster season (Lisa Rinna we need you! Like your first and second season you, but I understand you’re scarred after Revenge of the Blue Bunny). When the major drama centers around Dorit’s early on-set dementia (why does this woman never remember anything accurately or at all?!) and hissy fits over etiquette she doesn’t have, or Kyle feeling unsupported, you knew it was gonna end on a fussy note. Which is fine – any time I get to see Kyle act a fool, I kind of relish it.
This episode of Teen Mom: Young and Pregnant is titled the Co-Parent Trap. I find this title clever. Or I did, until I wondered if these kids were old enough to even get the movie reference and looked up the dates. The Lindsay Lohan remake of The Parent Trap was made in 1998! It’s 20 years old, the same age as the oldest two girls and OLDER than the other three. So now I feel ancient. That said, the 1998 remake was a decent movie. And the 1961 original is worth the watch as well. I also didn’t know that the original movie was based off of a book, but that makes sense for Disney. Anyway, I guess we should jump in and see what’s going on with our young moms and dads.
All it took for Jax to reach this inevitable conclusion was cheating with a friend, several screaming fights, a threatened moved to Florida for a fake job, a meltdown that nearly got him fired, meddling friends, a fake first date with a fake crush, the return to an abandoned identity, and one reiki instructor who fled to Africa! I mean would you stick around for the fall-out of that mess?
Sometimes a Housewife has a really bad day. This week’s episode of the Real Housewives of Potomac was Robyn Dixon’s turn. Robyn is like a boxer who comes out swinging and yelling at the opponent “Hit me!” with her chin sticking out. And when they do it, she’s shocked and can’t understand why they came at her.
We start back at last week’s press conference where Karen Huger is deflecting questions and declaring that she is shutting it down. Robyn is still yelling at Karen to tell the truth. Gizelle Bryant takes one last swing at Karen on the way out by showing the back of her t-shirt that says, “#freeuncleben” and “#taxreform”. Karen yells that Gizelle is tacky as hell, and I have to say it wasn’t Gizelle’s finest moment. Monique Samuels decides that Gizelle came to clown around and looked like a clown in her 99 cent shirt…and Robyn follows. Karen and her assistant get in the car to leave, but Robyn has to take one last dig at her. She taps on the window of Karen’s car and asks, “Why are you so mad?” Come on Robyn. We all know you aren’t that dense.
The Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunion was going so well until Kim Zolciak showed up. I mean, people with feuds as old as their suddenly rejuvenated (and impregnated) ovaries were having civil discussions about those times they accused each other of being prostitutes to one-eyed Africans (do neither Porsha Williams nor Kenya Moore STILL not understand that ‘one-eyed’ referred to the African’s “D” – not that he’s an actual cyclops. Now you know KandiBurruss secretly wrote a “For The D” rap about that…). Then of course with all that peace, love, and Leave Will Alone, Kim Showed up.
Now that girl… Kim looked like she was wearing a Jessica Rabbit Halloween costume. And what on earth is Kroy Biermann doing with his life? He needs a Tabatha take over, because he’s apparently so depressed about being released from the NFL that he’s lost all purpose in life. It’s like the dude followed-up on a Craigslist post seeking personal assistant and wound up working for this crazy person who expects him to just follow around carrying her Solo cups and making sure all her outfits match said Solo cups – outfits he also has to pry her into using tweezers.