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lhh hollywood soulja boy

On last night’s Love & Hip Hop Hollywood, we got to see more than our fair share of silly altercations. This show has just become a “lather, rinse, repeat” cycle…one that Mona knows best. However, I do like an episode that shows Soulja Boy’s boyish charm (did I really just type that and mean it?) and Omarion in any capacity!

When the episode starts, Apryl and Omarion are practicing birthing techniques with the help of a midwife, but Apryl is getting more and more freaked out by the idea of a home birth. Omarion want his son to be circumcised, but Apryl challenges him to strip off the turtleneck from his own manhood when their son goes under the knife. Omarion begrudgingly agrees–if his newborn son is man enough to undergo the procedure, he is too. He shares that he told his mom to apologize to Apryl for her behavior at the shower. Apryl agrees to listen to what Leslie has to say, but she’s not burying the hatchet yet.

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On this episode of Manzo’d With Children, it looks like a typical summer day in the Manzo household with Albie and Christopher practicing their chip shot in the backyard and Lauren moping around them.  Caroline decides to drop the bomb that they are heading to good ole Austin Texas next week to do some research on BBQ sauce. It’s the last family vacay before Lauren gets married and Caroline wants to make sure her bbq sauce is competitive with other brands out there before it hits the shelves. The whole family is on board and this should be fun!
 
As they’re packing their stuff up, we learn Albie and Christopher’s dog died last Christmas and the last memory they have is of him peeing on their luggage. Gross. Across the hallway, Lauren is packing stilettos and might want to throw in some gym shoes because you know, Texas has dirt. Good God. Christopher is eager to get to Texas and experience some authentic Texas goodies (gun fights, big hair, etc.). While I appreciate their stabs at humor, it’s just very Paris Hilton/Nicole Richie-esque and not funny at all.  Meanwhile, we learn Abie is now not eating meat and it’s apparently huge drama as Texas might not have any white meat for him. Oiy! 

amber marchese plays the role of russian hooker in the bedroom

On Secrets Revealed Part 1 Bravo unveiled all the Real Housewives Of New Jersey drama we missed. The ladies packed up all the tampons at ShopRite and traveled to Atlantic City via party bus. We – and they – can thank the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad twins for this trip! 

And a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad trip it was! In synopsis: everyone had their period, Amber Marchese wants to be a Russian hooker named Alana when she grows up, Twinsanity, and Dina Manzo files Atlantic City under “White Trash” in the zen-dictionary. 

Of course, more happened: first of all Teresa Giudice packed like her life depended on it – did she know this was the last time, for a long time, she’d be strutting her sequins out on vacation? A party bus, hired by a twin, picked-up Melissa Gorga, then Teresa. Melissa spotting Teresa standing in front of a mountain of luggage, in front of her gelatinous mountain of tackstronomy house, observed, “You need to learn to scale back girlfriend.”  Truer words, Melis! They tawk periods and pick-up Dina who is DUH – like on her period!

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On last night’s episode of Manzo’d With Children, it’s poker night at the Manzo house, Lauren rebrands her store, and Caroline gets her boxing on.
 
Albie Manzo and Chris Manzo are having their friends over for a casual night of cards and fun. In true high school fashion, Caroline interrupts the party the party in the basement to tell the boys to keep it down.  Brittney is among the guests and Caroline compliments on her top (which happens to consist of a peach-colored Kleenex and some dental floss (bonus: it has pockets!) on her way out. Caroline is a tad concerned as Brit-Brit is showing her face more often than she expected. 

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On last night’s My Five Wives, Brady Williams comes up with a not-so-bright idea, becomes a grandpa, and celebrates Father’s Day with his 24 kids.

It’s another fine day at the polygamous compound, and Brady leaps out of Robyn’s bed to start the day by visiting each of his other wives for his “good morning” routine. Rosemary is feeling down and out. Nonie reminds us that she is still trying for another baby, while Paulie is empty-nesting it and keeping up with her running. All of the wives, and Brady, are feeling like they’re not getting enough time with each other. Brady says his main challenge is “being fair with his time.” I thought his biggest challenge was bankrolling the lives of 29 dependents?

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This season on Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles is like the final season of Parenthood. Waiting for something awful to happen. Unfortunately, we already know how things end on this show and we must wait to exhale every time Josh Flagg comes on the screen.   Every phone call, every conversation, every mention of his grandmother’s name, Edith, is gut wrenching. And this week’s episode is no different. We know that her health is failing. And we know that Josh is carrying on with his work and life because that is what she would want him to do. While it is hard not to see how much pain he is in, the show must go on. A little trip down the Pacific Coast Highway just might be the distraction that he needs right now.

Back in Beverly Hills, David Parnes, who is out for a jog with Maxi and Bella, is summonsed by James Harris back to the office.   Their ‘Rock Star’ client, Zach Vella, is in town from the East Coast. Yes, that Zach Vella! Fredrik Eklund’s number one developer on Million Dollar Listing New York. Where is Fredrik?? Why is he not with him in California? Ryan Serhant would be there if it were his client, right? Well, not so fast. This time it’s personal. Zach is searching for a place to put down roots with his fiancé, Michelle. Our poker faced developer is looking for a turnkey 4-5 bedroom home with lots of privacy and an ‘LA feel’ in Trousdale or west of Bel Air. ‘Find a steal’ he tells the boys. Easy peasy! James is concerned as there is a drought of inventory in the market for $10-15m homes in these areas.

love and hip hop hollywood masika 1

Hey, anyone want to change Love & Hip Hop Hollywood to the Fizz and Omarion Hour? Who’s with me? Last night’s episode starts with Teairra Mari wanting to get back on stage. She’s planning a showcase with promoters Miss Diddy and Sincere.  She gets a rude awakening from Sincere who informs her that she’s not famous enough to fill a big venue, and Sincere reminds her that she hasn’t had a hit in ages. He recommends a smaller, more private gathering. Sincere has a soft spot for Teairra’s boobs, but she can’t get over his massive ego. Despite all of their misgivings, Sincere agrees to help Teairra relaunch her career and she begrudgingly accepts because she needs it. 

Yesi and Morgan are meeting for lunch to dish on Morgan’s recent conversation with Ray J regarding their working relationship. Yesi is still encouraging Morgan to branch out on her own, and she invites her friend to do red carpet interviews at an upcoming Powerhouse event. Morgan wants to run the idea past Ray as he’ll be working the event as well, but she’s quickly persuaded not to bother…and why should she? She’s convinced that Ray J will be happy for her new opportunity. Foreshadowing at its finest, Mona!

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 caroline-manzo2

Last week on Manzo’d With Children, we left with Albie Manzo and Lauren Manzo fighting on the deck about her disapproval of Albie’s new girlfriend, Brittany. Albie stormed off and went crying to Caroline about how people need to just stay out of his business. Lauren (having no friends) calls her fiancé, Vito Scalia crying about how mean Ablie was to her. Caroline Manzo doesn’t want Albie and Lauren to fight and certainly doesn’t want either of them to not speak to each other ever again. So mama Manzo tells Albie to get over himself and tells Lauren she should have not called Albie a d%*k and a douche and to make peace otherwise they are all kicked out of the house (yeah right, Caroline).

This big blowout causes Albie to make a 911 call to Amber, his life coach, for a home visit STAT! Amber uses her jump to conclusion mat to discover that perhaps Caroline and Lauren are too involved in Albie’s life and their motivations are more about themselves than Albie’s well-being. Bingo. Well, hopefully Albie will be able to resolve this issue with Lauren in a civilized way.

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