Pre-party Lala, who knows everyone hates her, is having massive anxiety about what to wear and how to act. Especially because James Kennedy, the littlest weasel at SUR, informed Lala that Kristen called her a “ratchet whorebag.” Hilariously Lala turns to Scheana Marie for advice on how not to look like a “whorebag” – Lala is OK with the ratchet part. Scheana, hilariously, advises her to dress as if she’s meeting someone’s mother – which means keep it classy. Scheana isn’t too devoted to Lala’s concerns however, because OF COURSE she has her own issues to worry about, like why Ariana Madix is keeping her distance!
For Kandi and Todd it has been a shocking couple of years filled with extreme ups (getting married, finally getting pregnant) and extreme downs (Mama Joyce, Todd’s mother Sharon passing away unexpectedly, and Kandi losing her friendship to Phaedra). A year after Sharon’s death, with Kandi having only 5 weeks to go until baby Ace arrives, they visit Sharon’s grave. Her tombstone reads, “A great mother and the life of the party.”
After returning from her visit with Apollo, Phaedra is in the mood to do something fun and festive. She decides to celebrate the holidays by throwing an over-the-top Christmas party. I do love Dwight and his undercover shade.
Now that Emily is preggers, she’s taking a break from being Right Cheek and sticking to managing Bri Barlup‘s career as Left Cheek. Emily has been getting a lot of bookings and gets a request for an appearance by the remaining Cheek, PLUS The Tiny Twins! Emily thinks Bri should take the opportunity to expand their brand, but also because it’s in Savannah and they could make it into a weekend at the beach by inviting the rest of the girls.
Bri has her doubts, remembering what happened last time they worked with Andrea and Amanda Salinas.Emily persuades Bri by giving her permission to blame everything on Emily if it goes badly. Just kidding – they would so blame the twins, and joke about who would be responsible if the weekend is a disaster. Little did they know the Twins and the Cheeks would be the least of anyone’s concerns!
In addition to a season-long theme of babies,Little Women: LA seems to be all about theme parties of late. And this episode, no surprise, serves up a little more of both! When Jasmine Sorge announces plans to throw Briana Renee’s bachelorette party in Mexico, responses are mixed – as expected. But the poop really hits the fan at Christy McGinity Gibel’s housewarming party, where a newcomer joins the group, and the controversial bachelorette announcement is made.
Last week, we were left at the OBGYN’s office, where Elena Gant and Preston were just about to receive the news they’re having twins. (Kind of a moot point since we’ve known this info for two weeks!) Elena is told she’ll likely need a C-section, that the twins are fraternal, and she will have a high risk pregnancy. Because the twins are fraternal, they may not only differ in gender – they may also differ in all of their genetic makeup: i.e., one average sized baby and one little baby. Too soon to tell any of this, but for now, Elena and Preston are thrilled. Yay, babies! Wishing them the best.
With every new episode of Mob Wives, we’re one week closer to the series’ end. It’s time, especially in light of the crushing loss of Big Ang. I find it’s even more time to call it quits when we get a brief preview of the ugliness to come later in the episode before VH1 flashes back to what leads up to the insanity. It’s Drita D’avanzo versus Karen Gravano as newbies Marissa Jade and Brittany Fogarty to go at it. Lovely. We’re transported back to two days prior as Karen, Carla Facciolo, and Marissa descend on Renee Graziano’s ballroom dance recital. If only the entire episode could focus on Renee’s lighthearted new hobby. Renee crushes it and is grateful for her friends’ support.
Drita goes to check on Ang who is happy to be cancer free but still struggling through the recovery from her surgery. Drita then unloads on Ang about Karen talking smack about Marissa and her boyfriend and Karen and Drita and Lee and all the drama. Ang reveals that Marissa denies saying that Karen ever said anything, claiming that Drita has selective hearing. Drita erupts into a volcano of cursing and bleeping, and Drita and Ang agree that Karen, Marissa, Drita, and Brittany need to have a sit down. Ang can’t be sure, but if she had to guess, she thinks that Marissa is stirring the pot just a bit. God, I love Ang, but she’s holding the spoon here too, although I believe she has the best of intentions.
Courtney Stodden and Krista Keller are such an extreme level of dysfunction it’s practically nullified the other moms/daughters, uniting them in their shared astonishment at the of f–ked uppityness. Everyone overtly gawks at the crazy. The collective question everyone wants an answer to: Why would Krista would allow her 16-year-old daughter to marry a 51-year-old? No one gets a straight answer, just a lot of subterfuge and obfuscation around the point.
Last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills told us, once again, about the manipulative webs spun by the busiest little spider in Beverly Hills, Lisa Vanderpump. But alas! There is also a praying mantis awaiting in our midst named Yolanda Foster! Once she extracts herself from her bathrobe cocoon, that is.
Despite disliking all the women Erika Girardi throws a dinner party to introduce Tom. Naturally this is the perfect occasion to wear a microscopic leopard-print negligee and call it a dress. Hostess with the mostess vag! #ThisIsYourBrainOnErikaJayne
Minutes before guests arrive, Yolanda cancels, FaceTiming from bed, wearing her magical-mystical bathrobe (upon impact Yolanda must instantly post a sick-selfie! ). Yolanda’s eyes and brain are swollen because of miscounting spoons. My husband observing from the side of the room, noted, “That sounds like a ‘washing my hair’ excuse.” Erika is understanding because as Yo’s Sequiny Solider she must protect the Lymes of Power.
Am I allowed to be excited when the Dance Moms sound technicians and producers are scurrying around the Los Angeles ALDC studio totally gobsmacked as to why Abby Lee Miller and the drama-loving mothers are nowhere in sight? The dancers are there, but they aren’t allowed to be filmed without their moms present. Ashlee and Brynn arrive and are confused as to why they are the only ones in attendance to meet with Abby. A producer reveals that the veteran moms are no-shows, and without them, the girls cannot be on camera. Abby cackles at the wonderful thought of not having to deal with the crazy. Abby has designated this week’s solos to follow the theme of famous L.A .murders. Brynn tries to be cheery as Gianna Googles “Black Dahlia Murder” to get the young dancer in character. Yikes.
Trying to make a point about Abby’s recent shenanigans, the mothers decide to show up late wearing their pjs in a nod to their dance instructor’s erratic behavior. The mothers take issue with Brynn rehearsing sans the remaining ALDC dancers. Abby totally could have let the other girls dance…it didn’t have to be on camera. Ashlee tries to explain that she’s not the reason the girls weren’t allowed to participate, but Jill knows how to push her buttons. The more Ashlee fake cries, the more Jill screeches. It’s cringe-inducing.