Recaps

hollywood apryl princess moniece teairra

Last night’s Love & Hip Hop Hollywood begins after that fateful video shoot in Miami. Princess is done giving Ray-J second, third, and forty-eighth chances. She’s moving out of the house they shared and is excited to see what the future has in store for her as a newly single lady.

Across town, Hazel-E has returned with a new abode, and she’s invited Teairra Mari over to show off the house and brag about her latest opportunities…like a booking in Dubai. She rehashes her lunch with Nikki and Jason Lee that ended with Jason tossing a drink in her face. Teairra laughs at Hazel’s comical portrayal, but she’s not surprised as Jason has been known to be messy. She shares with Hazel her diabolical scheme to break up Ray and Princess. Hazel is glad she’s no longer on the receiving end of Teairra’s plotting. Also discussing that fateful lunch are Nikki and Brandi. The girls are working out in the park and complaining about the men in their lives. Brandi and Max have been fighting constantly, and Nikki admits that Kamiah has been talking smack about her new relationship with Fizz. Nikki tells the story of Jason Lee’s behavior towards Hazel, and Brandi will not allow any wannabe blogger to threaten her friend Nikki’s reputation.

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Meat & Cheese

Last night on Manzo’d With Children the Manzos and the Scalias traveled to Italy for a little conjoined family bonding. Almost-married Lauren Manzo got her Teresa Giudice on as she shopped beyond her means all throughout Sorrento. OK, well she mostly bought cheese – does that count? The Manzos are more dense and smothering than a pizza with extra cheese. 

Caroline Manzo justifies the trip as a great experience for Lauren and Vito Scalia to learn to fly on their own as Caroline and Al remain “waiting in the wings” – or first class rather. They upgraded, but left the rest of peons back in coach. “It’s a farewell to Lauren Manzo,” describes Ma Smothers, as she hunkers down with her popcorn to watch the disaster of Lauren Scalia unfold. Don’t worry mommy is always waiting in the wings (or the hallway) with a hamper to help scoop up the mess! 

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sister wives meri

On last night’s Sister Wives, Kody Brown wants to bond with his daughters after realizing that his relationships with his boys are much stronger. His daughter Ysabel (with Christine) is turning twelve and she wants to spend her birthday with her dad and her sisters. Kody has decided to treat his preteen daughters to a long weekend at the beach to celebrate. Of course, as he’s sharing the plans, he cuts off Ysabel with some sort of gibberish while playing on his cellphone. The girls are over the moon that they finally get to spend some quality time with the father they don’t often get to spend time with in such a small group. 

Janelle knows her youngest Savanah will be in good hands with Kody, but she admits that it’s hard for her to let go since she’s so used to being the main parent. Kody believes he’s going to have a much easier time than his wives predict. His daughters won’t get nearly as jealous competing with each other for his attention as his wives do. Of course, the crew isn’t even out of the driveway before the girls are arguing. Kody is packing the car with the skills of a Tetris beginner. Robyn is micro-managing…wear sunscreen, take breaks, drink water. Janelle is hopeful that a healthy father-daughter relationship will help the Brown girls as they navigate puberty. Robyn believes that if they are confident in Kody’s love, they’ll be less likely to give up their purity behind the bleachers like she did

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Well, folks, the controversial three-part series catching up with the Giudice family since Teresa Giudice’s January incarceration is here. Who’s watching? Since we here at RT pledge to bring you the latest reality news – whatever that news may be – we’ll be recapping the Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Checks In each week. Admittedly, this series has a lot of us questioning just how far Bravo will go to expose/support/capitalize on the misdeeds and fallout of Joe and Teresa’s crimes, as well as the sad after-effects these crimes have had on their four daughters: Gia (14), Gabriella (10), Milania (9), and Audriana (5). So, let’s take a look at how this all shakes out…

In our first shot, we’re told the series was filmed six months into Teresa’s prison sentence. Joe, who is currently without a driver’s license (due to previous suspension) counts on his side of the family to help out with the bulk of carting his daughters around, and for emotional support. As he prepares breakfast for the girls, Milania steps in to cooks the sausages. Joe says this has been the hardest year of his life with the passing of his father and Teresa’s imprisonment. He thinks Teresa is proud of his efforts at home, though, because if not, she would have probably sent him divorce papers by now.

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dont be tardy kim tracey

I’ll never try to pretend Bravo’s motives, but Don’t Be Tardy has officially been moved to Thursday night, which means this week we were treated to a double dose of Kim Zolciak Biermann, Kroy, chef Tracey, and, of course, that cursing toddler! You’re welcome.

Last night’s episode begins with Kim greeting Shun while yelling at her dogs for interrupting her Instagramming. The dog in a cage should feel grateful it’s not being tormented by KJ. Kim complains about how hard it is to be followed by children 24/7, so she and Shun grab their solo cups of wine and retreat to Kim’s bedroom to discuss Shun’s lack of a dating life. Shun describes her perfect man, but Kim encourages her to think outside the box. Kim swears by “ask, believe, receive,” but she’s not so sure it will work for normal folks like Shun. She offers to set up Shun with her personal trainer–if he’s willing–before getting bombarded with balls being thrown at her face (there goes her social life! 😉 ) by KJ. She admits to be terrified of her three-year-old, and for once the Bravo viewing audience can agree with something Kim says.

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Heather Thomson on WWHL

Heather Thomson recently announced her departure from Real Housewives Of New York after three seasons. Heather holla’d her way into our hearts(?) and minds during season 5, following the dramatic firing of half the original cast. Despite being the new gal, the Yummie Tummie entrepreneur wasn’t afraid to speak her mind – even if the person she was holla-ing at threatened bodily harm with a pinot glass. (Or a prosthetic leg). 

Below we recap Heather’s standout moments from Real Housewives Of New York. Of which there were many! From stormy St. Tropez (and Turks and Caicos) situations, getting toaster oven burnt, Avivalicious insanity, and more. 

With RHONY in peril following the firings of Jill Zarin, Alex McCord, and Kelly Bensimon, Bravo hired three newbies in hopes of reclaiming the magic. Heather joined writer girl Carole Radziwill and the one-legged drama queen Aviva Drescher. Announcing she was “Jewish by injection,” thanks to her husband Jon, the fashion director and owner of Yummie Tummie was known for her fierce determination, busy-body nature, and business sense – and true to form Heather took on both Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan in her first season! 

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After Briana Manson dropped a stink bomb on the group last week that she and Matt are already married, this week’s Little Women: LA finds the ladies trying to shift focus back to Elena Gant’s upcoming vow renewal. 

We begin at Christy McGinty’s home, where she shares with hubby Todd that Briana spilled her big news. Todd calls the situation “one of the most f*ked up situations I’ve ever heard in my life.” Yep. Even more f*ked up is the fact that Matt (according to Terra Jole’s sources) sent photos of his…uh, Matt Junior…to some random chic a few months back. Which Briana now flippantly writes off as a “mistake.” Todd wants to look up evidence of Briana and Matt’s marriage, so he employs his best googling skills to check out the actual wedding date: 4/19. This means, at the time of filming, Briana has been married FOUR MONTHS already without telling anyone. Does this also mean the d*ck pics in question were sent during a state of wedded bliss? Hmmm. Christy just feels betrayed that this lie has gone on so long right under her nose.

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below deck dane eddie

“The weather started getting rough,the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, The Eros would be lost.” Speaking of horrific storms, I can’t begin my Below Deck recap without acknowledging the devastation faced by the people of South Carolina. While Charleston faced lots of flooding (a guy paddle boarded down my street at one point!), residents of the midlands suffered unimaginable losses. Several of my friends were evacuated from their homes, many assisted in rescues (navigating boats through their neighborhood streets), and countless folks lost their homes. Everyone jokes that South Carolina is such a small state–there is only one degree of separation between you and whoever you meet regardless of where they live in the state. Sadly, that means, that everyone knows someone affected by this tragedy. Please continue to lift them up in your thoughts as we pull together to help those who lost everything. 

On last night’s episode, Emile Kotze is befuddled after receiving Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow’s middle school note, and he confronts Rocky about her immature means of communication. She retorts that she had to write him a letter because he hasn’t been picking up what she’s throwing down…which is massive amounts of teasing that she isn’t interested. Poor Emile retires to his cabin where he’s forced to listen to Dane’s late night phone conversation. Poor Emile just can’t catch a break! The crew is awaiting the charter guests as Captain Lee Rosbach calls Eddie Lucas, Leon Walker, and Kate Chastain to the bridge to discuss their next outing. The main guests are foodie siblings who own a business together. Leon is excited about getting to experiment with new dishes, but Lee is worried about the stormy forecast. In the galley, Rocky is distressed to learn from Connie Arias (via a frustrated and sleep-deprived Emile) that Dane has a girlfriend. Couldn’t he have shared that information with her before he massaged her feet? The guests arrive on board and are treated to a tour, who isn’t quite sure of the romantic dynamics of the newcomers.

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