Since the season began, Christy McGinity has spiraled down into a pit largely of her own making. Now that she has no farther to fall, it’s time for the rest of these Little Women: LA ladies to start turning on each other! Which is just what happens this week when Jasmine Sorgedecides she needs to confront Terra Jole about whether she’s a true friend or not. Because she’s not a pet owner. If you’re still scratching your head over that one, well, so am I.
Before we descend into total madness, we travel to the plastic surgeon’s with Elena Gant, who’s brought Terra along for support. Elena wants to get her a$$ stretch marks lasered off, which is rich considering she inserted implants into her butt before getting pregnant. I guess it’s reality check time. Elena tells Terra that she was unhappy with Preston’s surprise party, especially because she didn’t want to be around that level of drama on her birthday.
Love was in the air this week on Survivor, but for one contestant, there was nothing but heart-break in the end. I guess that beats having a heart-attack, as another castaway was feared to have suffered tonight. Yes, there is a lot to cover, and we will be talking about much more than puppies and butts when we dive into Episode 2 of Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X. Let’s do this!
As always, I’ll try to keep these first two paragraphs “spoiler free,” so only read further if you have already seen Episode 2, or if you don’t mind it being spoiled. You’ve been warned!
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I will never forget Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen-X. It was on the day of the premiere episode of Season 33, when my first born child, my son Clayton, was born. Perhaps it’s because of this that I may have watched last week’s premiere episode through rose-colored glasses. I was ecstatic, I was pumped (I was on very little sleep). But I felt excited for the premiere, and excited that I had a “Survivor Baby,” born on #whitericewednesday. Maybe one day this little dude will compete on Survivor, or maybe at least curl up next to dad to watch the Season 45 premiere. He’s already been bought a “The Tribe Has Spoken” onesie, so there is little hope that he will not become enamored with Survivor as his dad is.
But Episode 1 is now behind us, a solid episode overall that introduced several seemingly likable players, and what appears to be a pretty interesting overall theme. We now pivot to Episode 2, airing tonight, to see if this season can begin creating some momentum moving forward.
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When Captain Lee Rosbach gets wind of Trevor’s latest antics (and his awesome hair modeling #skillz), the tides shift. But – wait – there’s suddenly a new crew member to hate on now! Sierra Storm, who has been flying under the radar thus far despite her increasing ineptitude as second stew, butts heads this week with Ben when she can’t seem to scrape a simple salad together. Ooh! And there’s a love triangle taking shape as well. (Finally!) And it’s not the trio I expected. (Was it yours?)
Is ninety-minutes of Dance Moms really necessary, Lifetime? How much footage could you possibly have? The season is already going to be at least a hundred episodes long, so do we need to be subjected to super-sized episodes each week? Oh well. More air time for Abby Lee Miller at least!
As last night’s episode begins, the mini moms are excited to enter a quiet studio. However, they are quickly bombarded by the veteran mothers who tease them about fighting over a plastic crown during last week’s episode. Jill condescendingly compliments the mini team as “cute.” After some strong duets, the veteran moms are feeling confident in the pyramid. Of course, they are confused when they see so many pictures as part of the weekly round up. Are the minis part of the pyramid as well? Say it isn’t so!
We’re moving on, we’re moving backwards, and we’re moving into straight crazy territory on Real Housewives Of Orange County. Who isn’t on the edge of their seat after that preview for the rest of the season? In a war between Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Judge, it was always a toss-up, but then Tamra found Jesus through jumping jacks and Vicki got ‘duped’ by her own desperation, so now I don’t know… It’s probably still a toss-up!
Apparently Bravo is using Tamra as some sort of Kelly Dodd reflecting pool. Like, ‘Oh remember way back when when Tamra was an irascible ‘naked wasted getting’ bitch throwing wine in her friend’s faces? But now that she’s found the ever-supportive Eddie, she’s calm and centered.’ Like Kelly could be that too if she divorced Michael. I don’t know. Crazy is as crazy does, and crazy takes advice from Tamra and Vicki!
To Vermont we go! To Vermont we go… You can take the girls out of Jersey but you can’t take the Real Housewives Of New Jersey out of the girls! Even if you put them in big giant snow boots and plain old terry cloth bathrobes. Last night also signified the return of Kim D (for Desperate!), which in my book is always a good thing! Run on with the big boys, Kim, run on!
Melissa Gorga has lofty ideas to turn the trip to Vermont into one last relaxing weekend for Teresa Giudice before Joe goes to prison and Teresa becomes a single mom. Melissa even invited Teresa’s close friends Robyn and Christina. Unfortunately, Teresa’s girls weekend is beset by problems from the get-go. Two of those problems are named Kathy Wakile and Rosie Pieri.
On last night’s 90 Day Fiance, people tried to act normal in front of their fiances’ families. Alas, they did not accomplish this goal. Whether it was Anfisa halfheartedly trying to persuade Jorge‘s sister that she is truly in this relationship for “love” (HA!) or the hapless Nicole hanging all over Azan while she broke bread with his family, these TLC fiances are officially A MESS.
It’s interesting that the families of the engaged couples seem to understand this point in under a minute flat, yet the fiances themselves march onward in their happy delusions like zombies march toward the smell of fresh brains. Speaking of brains, Nicole needs to snatch one up right quick before Azan calls the Moroccan police on her himself – which he looked a millisecond away from doing after she brought up some “mistakes from her past.” And nobody would blame him for doing so.