Recaps

rhoa cast in puerto rico

In last night’s installment of The Hunger Games: MockingShade 2, the ladies of Real Housewives Of Atlanta insulted each other on every level, then took a break to pass a dildo between their caftans on a beach, and then returned to insulting each other on every level. I like my Housewives classy like that!

We’re at dinner where Claudia Jordan is a whore and NeNe Leakes is fat with seething jealousy and shops at Ross. Now Claudia, you can read NayNay, but please don’t read Ross! I have gotten many things at Ross, including fabulous glasses made to look like Solo Cups! NeNe snaps that her dress is “RUNWAY!” Because when you got them coins they make RUNWAY in your size. That must be the reason NeNe’s dress looks like leftover remains of a circus tent in a Project Runway challenge. “Auf wiedersehen,” Ms. Leakes. 

Claudia rips NeNe for her plastic “hair hat” glued to her head. T’is true – for someone so very rich NeNe has the worst wigs – she may have coins, but she does not use them to pay a hair gay! 

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sister wives

That’s right, folks! We’re still road tripping with Kody Brown and his wives on yet another family vacation with the objective of meeting some more polygamists! Last night’s Sister Wives begins as the crew treks across Utah. Not surprisingly, Christine is still bitter that Kody isn’t willing to ask his friend for an apology over an offensive comment made about Kody having multiple wives. You couldn’t pay me to stay in those RVs. Geez, don’t these ladies clean? Janelle is already to cash out on this vacay, and I can’t say I blame her. Robin and Meri are presenting a united front of staying in the background….that’s a first for once!

Kody calls a meeting of the wives, and Christine apologizes for adding tension to an already miserable situation. Meri thinks that Christine needs to keep her mouth shut, and Robyn opines about how hard it is when Kody is feuding with a wife. Clearly, the other wives are going to side with Kody, but it can cause a rift among the sister wives. I really don’t feel like it’s a big deal given that the ladies really don’t like each other anyway. Kody lectures Christine about her hormones emotions, as they cause him to be on the defensive. He’s not a fan of PMS. Oh no he didn’t! Christine understands his questioning and admits to suffering from PMS. So sorry that her body isn’t syncing up to Kody’s idea of what a menstrual cycle should be. He’s the king of the d-bags, and Christine won’t let it die. Hurt feelings, you know!

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 terra-joe

On last night’s Little Women LA, Christy McGinty makes up with Elena Gant (then promptly starts more drama afterward), Elena performs in a burlesque show, and Terra Jole and Joe get some scary news at their first prenatal appointment. Oh, and Traci Harrison cries. A lot.

Briana Mason and Christy catch up at Christy’s house where Briana admits she’s lonely and wants to be in a relationship. Briana does not, however, want to date any more little people. Christy maintains that sex with little men is better than sex with average sized men, but Briana’s not buying it. Todd busts in on girl time and brings up Terra’s pregnancy news. Briana thinks Terra’s pregnancy was planned while Christy adds that Terra & Joe’s relationship is rocky and a having a baby is no way to save it.

mob wives karen

Should the ladies of Mob Wives invest in some sort of vermin extermination business. They certainly hate rats would love nothing more than to get rid of all of them! Last night’s episode begins as Karen Gravano heads to Renee Graziano’s house and I’m terrified of Renee’s hat. The women are discussing Junior’s latest betrayal. Renee is appalled that her ex-husband has now turned in Big Ang’s cousin who may now face life in prison. She hates that she and AJ have to continue paying for Junior’s crimes. Even though she know Junior is a rat, Renee warns that her friends better not say as much as that is AJ’s father. 

Speaking of rats, Drita D’Avanzo and Big Ang are ready to confront Natalie Guercio to find out once and for all if she’s a cop caller. At Nicole’s apartment, Drita and Ang are facing off against Natalie. Drita cuts right to the chase, and she tells Natalie about her encounter with Natalie 2.0. Both ladies are spitting mad about their hatred of rats. When Drita relays the story about Natalie allegedly calling the cops on her ex-boyfriend, Natalie admits to be a cop caller. She explains that the relationship was toxic, and she called the police when her ex got violent during a fight. Ang and Drita back track a bit, and they tell Natalie that being endangered is the only reason to call the police. Natalie wants new Natalie to say these rumors to her face. Drita agrees that it’s the best tactic. She’s season one Drita with all her big talk about punching people. 

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kyle richards daughter leaves for college

Last night we learned that when children of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills stars go to college, it’s not like when the rest of us do!

First of all, Kyle Richards‘ feelings of sadness when her children leave home are greater than the rest of ours because as Kyle told us 456,000 she never went to college – and she could have been a lawyer, you know, if she wasn’t a child star! Kyle should just go now – it’s not like she’d have to get student loans. Which she wouldn’t get anyway because Chanel doesn’t sell them.

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dance moms

I want to try to have a bit on an introduction for last night’s Dance Moms episode, but I just feel so sick after watching it. Those last five minutes were some of the worst in the show’s history (in my opinion), and both Abby Lee Miller and Lifetime should be utterly ashamed of themselves. Let’s get started, shall we? 

So apparently the process server doesn’t want his fifteen minutes of fame because he has his face blurred when he serves Abby with court papers in Paige’s law suit. Abby is tearful that her former students and parents are trying to humiliate her in her place of business. Abby just can’t have this negativity around these kids. She is so good at playing the victim. As she storms out into the parking lot, Holly and Jill show their support for Abby. Abby wants to make a public statement, but everyone (and by everyone, I mean Holly) agrees that given her defensive attitude will only dig her deeper into this mess. They finally get her to quit her dramatics and start class, and Jill and Holly make sure to point out that Kira and daughter Kalani are late once again. Off with their heads! Okay, that may be harsh…no soup solos for you! When the finally arrive, Kira blames the traffic, and Abby totally gives her a pass. Double standard much? 

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celebrity apprentice team infinity

On last night’s episodes of Celebrity Apprentice there was Housewives drama! Brandi Glanville started her whining victim act, and Kenya Moore temporarily was able to be the cream that rises to the top. However – we know that’s all short-lived and I fully stand by my opinion that Kenya and Brandi are birds of a feather who hate together. 

As always, this recap will contain spoilers, so do not read on if you don’t want to know who got fired.  

Everyone is PMSing because they’re still reeling from the previous boardroom. Meaning, Geraldo Rivera remains in the game. Also Shawn Johnson  announced that Vivica A. Fox is menopausal. Kenya squirreled that nugget away for future use

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kristen doute refuses to move on from tom sandoval

When most people go on vacation they leave the crazy at home, but not Scheana Marie. She wanted to have a memorable bachelorette party in Miami  and she got one because last night on Vanderpump Rules the crazy went off the rails. 

Sometimes when I write these recaps I wish I had more time to ponder the happenings. I get myopic vision and tunnel in on certain ideas, then I read or see something else and it’s like: aha! How did I miss that? But alas, the world of blogging moves swiftly and there is no time for deep consideration about reality TV. 

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