Last night on Real Housewives Of Atlanta, a certain former beauty queen showed emotions other than shade and venom! Kenya Moore, tired of being blamed for an offense she did not commit, tired of being yanked into bitter marital drama, lost it. And dang if she didn’t give me just the teeniest twinge of sympathy pangs. Don’t worry – they’ll be short-lived!
I just want to get this out of the way first since we’re apparently gonna have to talk about this Kenya/Apollo Nida mess endlessly, my opinion is this: Apollo is a liar. End of story. Phaedra Parks and Kenya need to sit down, one-on-one, woman-to-woman and without shade.
Moving on, Kandi Burruss‘ business is a mess – she’s paying employees who are letting her down by not completing projects. This is what happens when you employ friends! Despite Mama Joyce calling Todd an “opportunist” – it seems like he’s the only person wanting Kandi’s business to grow and produce! He tells Kandi she needs to get her team – led by Don Juan – motivated to produce results. Kandi’s all like ohhhhnooooo… conflict. Ummm… errrrrr… lemme put on my most professional figure skating costume with the gold sparkly leotard and get these people in line because I sign their paychecks and Mama Joyce needs another new house!
Rosemary’s daughter Taylor is heading on a service trip to Peru and both mom and daughter are preparing for missing each other badly. Rosemary crocheted a square of “kisses & hugs” for Taylor to take with her in case she feels homesick and both of them cry when she gives it to her. Their tight bond is obvious. Will anyone miss Brady? No mention of him so far. So, no.
It appears the therapy session Kourtney had with Leigh was helpful. She went “very deep” with Kourt – like followed up with more than one question that everyone else asks her and then they just drop the subject. Hopefully, this will give Kourt some clarity. Jonathan Cheban, Kim’s BFF is in town and they are going to go out in NYC for a fun outing. Kim really wanted to just have a spa day but Jonathan has other plans in mind. Oh boy, this sounds like it could get crazy! Not really.
Brandi Glanville apologized to Adrienne Maloof for surrogate-gate, because she doesn’t want it to be “awkward” when they run into each other. Uh-huh. We all know Brandi’s ulterior motive is that she needs to get to Adrienne before Lisa Vanderpump gets to her! This apology, where Brandi subtly attempted to drop hints to Adrienne that she was working on Lisa’s behalf, was another attempt of Brandi’s to join the chess team. Listen honey – stick to checkers.
Somewhere in the murky wilds between last season of RHOBH and this one, Brandi and Kim Richards became friends. Necessity is the mother of invention so the two people no one else wants to be friends with get stuck with each other. At least there were wigs!
Last night on Vanderpump Rules it was the the Grownups VS. Real Grownups. The latter, a cult led by Stassi Schroeder. Immediately upon entering your fashion IQ drops at least 20 points. On the other hand, the Grownups is led by Scheana Marie Almost Famous and you basically need to be brain-dead (or Jax Taylor) to gain entry at all. But they are friendship tattoos!
Straddling the middle is Tom Schwartz. He so badly wants to be a Grownup, but Katie Maloney has him trapped in an invisible net – no one believes him when he reports himself as missing and kidnapped to the police.
Here’s what Grownups do: they have panic attacks at their bartending job and flee the scene, sobbing. Here’s what Real Grownups do: they sit in a corner hate-watching a group of people and passive-aggressively snarking on them behind-their-backs, but never actually say anything to their faces. You know, kind of what I do while I watch this show! The grownup is real, the grownup struggle is realer.
Oooh! Is it so sad that I waited all week for last night’s Love & Hip Hop Hollywood just to see Ray J’s lady fall in the pool? Geez Louise! I heard on the radio that this fool gets upwards of $30,000 A MONTH for sales of his sex tape with Kim Kardashian, and he made $50,000 last week alone when sales spiked thanks to Kim’s Paper magazine cover. My internet is still working though, so I’m going to say that was a fail.
The episode begins with Nia going to Morgan’s to talk about the upheaval in her life. She wasn’t able to tell Soulja Boy until after she suffered a miscarriage. Nia informed him via text, telling him that she didn’t think he even cared. He ended up doing the mature thing and blocking her on Instagram and Twitter. Morgan wishes that men in general would learn to be more understanding, and Nia breaks down in tears. She feels that she may need a break from the relationship.
Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta featured a battle of the THOTS. Well, really it was more of a battle of THOT accusations coming from Porsha Williams! Porsha and Cynthia Bailey are angry at each other over the reunion; Cynthia felt Porsha’s physical aggression was out-of-line, but Porsha is annoyed that Cynthia has “flip-flopped” her opinion on the matter – sometimes saying she understood Porsha was provoked and other times saying it was completely unacceptable.
Really, Porsha and Cynthia are angry at each other because their ‘bosses’ NeNe Leakes and Kenya Moore don’t like each other so they pawns in a larger game for who will be crowned MISS RHOA! I wonder if The Bailey Agency will host the pageant… they so excel at them! More on that later, but first – Nights at The Apollo!
Everyone is still reeling from Apollo Nida‘s reveal that he “Krayonce’d” his relationship with Kenya, aka imagined she was there in LA, coming onto him in hotel rooms, and offering him fellatio. See this is Karma – Kenya was making up menz all over the world from Africa to Atlanta, and here is Apollo making up Kenyas!
On last night’s My Five Wives, the Williams family looks at relocating to Seattle, Nonie has big news, and an unlikely hero takes shape in the form of Nonie’s eldest child, Paul, who actually calls the entire family out on their questionable lifestyle choices.
The family is still in Seattle visiting Brady’s parents, one of whom is sane, one of whom is not. More to come on that later. Brady’s been talking to some realtors about possibly relocating everyone to Washington. Their current polygamist community in Utah has shut them out since they’ve left the faith. The wives wonder if there’s a realtor alive who can find a property to match their – um – unique needs.