This week's "throwback" episode of Top Chef Seattlebrings us drama, beef, a pair of pissed off glasses, a foot rub, a tightly wound mustache, mushrooms, and a double elimination.
Immediately following Kuniko Yagi's Turkeypocalypseelimination, John"my forehead needs glasses"Tesar disses Kuniko's raw potatoes. He says, "You can do potatoes in your sleep as a chef." John's negativity puts everyone on the defense.
C.J. Jacobson is like, Dude, why you gotta do this while we're pretending to be sad about Kuniko going home? John is like, She had five hours to taste those potatoes! And, by the way, you're full of s**t right now. Feeling left out in Seattle, Josh "my mustache is twisty" Valentine tells John that he doesn't have any tact, and then this happens:
Glasses: And Oklahoma has a lot of tact?
Mustache: You’re an a**hole.
Glasses: Thank you.
Mustache: Don’t f***ing say another word to me. There’s a reason you’re the most hated chef. It’s cause you’re a prigg. (does he say prigg or prick?)
Glasses: I’m not a prick. (Ah, prigg is Oklahoman for prick..filing that away for future reference. John and Josh fail Communication 101.) I’m truthful.
It's the season finale of Flipping Out, y'all, and the drama from last night's show is palpitating. Poor Monkey the cat is sick, and Jeff Lewis thinks that maybe he should take his pet to Dr. Donna so they can work out their issues. I mean, I think the cat is the last living thing at JLD (save for Vanina who never talks) who has yet to meet the therapist. Gage Edward and Zoila Chavez are surprised to learn that Jenni Pulos hasn't given Jeff the apology he so desperately needs for Cabo-gate. Sure, she's said she's sorry for hurting his feelings or sorry for not telling him…but she still isn't sorry she used the house.
For once, Gage encourages Jeff to try to work things out with Jenni, and Zoila is worried that Jenni is going to get fired. Jeff takes Andrew and Vanina to Gramercy while chatting with his realtor on the phone. He thinks Gramercy isn't selling because it's not furnished. His plan is now to sell Spring Oak, move to Gramercy, and then try to sell it again once he's furnished it. Gage is beside himself, and he is hopeful that once they move in, Jeff will change his mind about keeping Gramercy on the market. If they stay in Gramercy, Gage is convinced that they will be able to finally start a family.
Meanwhile, Monkey's vet makes a house call. Jeff tells him of the emergency surgery that yielded nothing in his stomach but gas bubbles. The poor cat is then diagnosed with herpes of the eye. What? How does that even happen to a cat?
First, General Hospital star Kelly Monaco and the talented and delicious Valentin Chmerkovskiy danced the paso doble (29.5/30) and a recreation of Dirty Dancing's iconic "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" dance for their freestyle (29.5/30). Kelly and Val's combined score for the night was 59/60.
The Bachelor's Melissa Rycroft and deserves-to-win Tony Dovolani (he put up with Kate Gosselin!) chose the samba (30/30). The pair took a risk for their freestyle, dancing a contemporary dance. It's safe to say the risk was worth it, as Len was left nearly speechless. The breathtaking dance earned the pair another perfect score. Melissa and Tony's combined score for the night was 60/60.
Finally, Olympic gymnast Shawn Johnson and the master of choreography Derek Hough revisited their we're-above-the-rules quickstep (27/30) and danced a fantastic but gymnastics heavy freestyle that incorporated the "Fierce Five" (30/30). Shawn and Derek's combined score for the night was 57/60.
For the first time in Dancing with the Stars history, three women and their partners go head to head for the trophy… not just any Mirror Ball Trophy… this is the All Stars Trophy! Who wins?
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE RESULTS AND VIDEOS!
First of all let me apologize for this beast being so late, but good things come to those who wait, right? Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, boy did we witness some groveling. It was down in the dirt, on your knees, begging kind of groveling as Queen Lisa Vanderpump barely acknowledged her subject's pleas for redemption.
I should say last night's episode was a study in relationship building and friendship, but also in status. New alliances were drawn, and enemy lines began to be sorted out. Also, the ladies took a trip to Ojai where apparently magic happens. But no amount of magic can make these girls behave in public.
Things begin with two ladies afflicted by a curse of over botoxing and an unfortunate affinity for ugly blouses facing off in a quaint little restaurant. One lady, a benevolent but stern queen, and the other a marginally disgraced princess who is quivering and anxious with anticipation. Yes, Adrienne Maloof has realized she made enemies with the wrong lady, because while Lisa can be sweet as rosé, she will cut a bitch faster than she'll discard a wilting rose.
Every week I get a little more frustrated with these girls of Teen Mom 2. MTV is paying them, and they are learning nothing except how to be more whiny and entitled. I really think the network should incorporate some kind of weekly therapy session for Jenelle Evans, Chelsea Houska, Leah Messer, and Kailyn Lowry to make it a little more relevant and a little less rewarding immaturity and bad behavior. Anyone agree?
Case in point, we begin with Chelsea trying to tame her peroxide weave while lamenting about taking her GED practice test in the following week. She really needs to study, but she has way more important things to do…like plan Aubree's birthday party, attend freeloading Adam Lind's motocross race, and devise a plan to keep her dad from finding out that Adam is squatting on his dime. Priorities, of course. Of course, Chelsea's third priority didn't work out so well because she forgot her dad has a key to her house and decided to take a peek inside when he came to pick up Aubree. She tries to act indignant, like what are you doing in my house? I want him to retort with, um, it's actually my house considering I pay for it, but instead Randy promises her they will discuss the situation later.
Oh wait, Chelsea explains that she pays her own rent, so maybe I would be a tad upset if my dad busted in, but still. She arrives at the race, and it's so pitiful to watch her try to kiss Adam and hold his hand while he totally brushes her off and then walks away. Chelsea acts totally oblivious to his behavior.
I don't know about you, but I've been waiting with baited breath for Jackie Christie's line to debut at New York Fashion Week. Can you even fathom the insanity that is going to head down that runway. Well, on last night's Basketball Wives LA, the ladies let it all hang out while working that catwalk. Apparently Jackie's line doesn't include a bra big enough to tame Brooke Bailey's giant chest, so she commandos it down the runway. Laura Govan follows in braless suit, but she's thankfully not about to put out her own eye…or anyone else's. But we'll get to that later…
Draya Michele and Malaysia Pargo are trying on Jackie's fashions for the show. Draya is beyond impressed with Jackie's pieces. Why doesn't she wear these kind of clothes in her real life? Brooke invites the women to a business deal, but she makes sure to get in a dig to Draya about the magazine cover shoot. Draya can't cover up her jealousy. Gloria Govan and Brooke are walking in another show, and Draya, Laura, Jackie, and Malaysia are going to be be supportive. Draya is confused as to why Jackie and Laura are being so buddy-buddy. Jackie wishes that Draya would stop butting into her and Laura's friendship. Laura thinks it's funny that people are concerned about her behavior towards Jackie. Her master plan isn't going to go down at a fashion show where she's supporting actual friends!
Brooke takes the catwalk…or the slim slice of floor not overrun by revelers looking like a poor man's Nicki Minaj. I'm sorry, but that wig is all kinds of unfortunate. Gloria follows suit and she's dressed in the outfit that Hello Kitty would wear if she ever decided to be a construction worker. Backstage, the women are being supportive of the models, but Draya backs out on a dinner celebration to honor Brooke's magazine cover. Draya feels like she's being a good friend by not going to the dinner where she'd be sure to be a pouty Debbie Downer. At Brooke's celebration, the other women wonder about Draya's absence, but Malaysia tries to play devil's advocate on Draya's behalf.
"F*** me now, slave – or I'll spend more of your money on Versace china and wigs!"
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was a lesson in living large, but not necessarily in charge. We spent our last day in Casa de Eviction where the Zolciak-Biermann fam was unceremoniously tossed out, left to the mercies of a generic moving company and schlepping 17,000 square feet of wigs back to Big Poppa's condo. Le sigh. My how the delusions of grandeur have fallen.
Elsewhere Kenya Moore continued to rock crazy like it's a pair of Louboutins. I would say she wears it well, but she doesn't. Instead she comes off looking the girl in foolboutins. I think they sell them at Payless. BOGO bitches!
Things begin at Casa de Eviction, where Kim Zolciak, wig askew, is like freaking out. She's got a whole house to move and one day to do it and no one is helping her. So she storms around ranting and blaming the movers for everything. Sweetie is shockingly the voice of reason as she tries to steer Kim in the direction of focusing on the important things – packing her wigs and makeup. Apparently Sweetie wants to spare us a Kim sans her face.
It seems that Kody Brown has gotten some sort of hairstyle/hairdo/haircut situation since last week's Sister Wives premiere. His bowl-cut/mullet hybrid seems more tame. Is he not watching these old home videos of himself that we're forced to watch? He's actually not bad looking with shorter hair. I don't know if I'll ever get over his mane situation. Kody drones on and on about how many polygamists don't raise their children in such a public manner due to the stigma of the lifestyle. Of course Kody wants to be front and center with each of his bazillion kids so they realize how strong the family bond is.
Kody and his wives are heading to the high school for a parent(s)-teacher conference. Oddly enough, they opt for the mini-van instead of Kody's convertible. Strange. The first meeting is with Mariah's Spanish teacher. Mariah reminds us that she was inducted into the National Honor Society…last episode year. A little editing problem there, TLC? That would explain Kody's haircut. Anyhoo, the Spanish teacher is meeting with three of the kids moms. It's funny watching the wives pretend like they understand Spanish. Christine thinks that Senora Hess is hot. She would totally learn Spanish from her…and there is next season's story line–recruiting Senora Hess as the next wife.
Next, the women meet with the P.E. teacher. While she's only teaching Aspyn this year, she had many of the daughters last year. Aspyn likes to skip P.E. a lot, but she's making up the work to increase her grade. Christine allows Aspyn to skip school a lot because she's such a good student. That's good…it's totally like that in the work force too, so kudos to you Christine for preparing her for real life. Meri admits that Mariah often tries to skip citing Chistine's lax nature with Aspyn, but Meri won't stand for it. However, like Mariah, Aspyn also wants to be in a plural marriage like her parents.