Last week we said buh-bye to Jaleel White on Dancing with the Stars, leaving us with just six couples. Last night, the couples danced twice. First, they danced one-on-one and then later, as a threesome.
First up, Donald Driver and Peta Murgatroyd danced a sassy tango that Len absolutely loved. Bruno said he thought he’d have to call a marriage counselor because they were so convincing in their aggression.
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On last night’s Basketball Wives, the women headed to Tahiti where all hell breaks lose and someone’s anger management backslides…big time. But first, a little daughter-daddy dramatics!
Royce, Royce, Royce. We resume with Royce Reed bawling to her father. She just wants to hear her father say he’s proud of her. Is that too much to ask? Can Royce please get a hug? Geez, her dad was just trying to give her some fatherly advice on how not to look like she jumps from man to man for attention. Yet here she is, begging her father for attention. Daddy issues, perhaps?
Have you ever said something and immediately after you said it, you wished you could take it back? I think it’s known as foot in mouth syndrome. You know, the awkward moment when something unguarded or rude flies out of your mouth and you’re like ‘ooohhh… oooohhh… that was a mistake. Why did I say that?’ And you try to backpedal. I dunno – maybe Teresa Giudice doesn’t have that radar? So, anyway that was the theme of last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Teresa said something rude to her brother Joew Gorga about Melissa. She probably realized she shouldn’t have said it, but it was too late. The idea was out there floating around in the universe. And the problem was not that Melissa might leave her hubby for a richer man, but that Teresa thinks she would. So there you have it. Teresa, God help her.
We all love Teresa for her sense of unfiltered honesty, but sometimes you gotta know when to zip it! And sometimes you have to know when to pick and chose your battles. And Melissa is not the type of person to give up the opportunity to look like the blessed golden one; the innocent taken advantage of. So when she came at Teresa with the ‘YOU APOLOGIZE! YOU SAID HORRIBLE THINGS ABOUT ME’ stuff, Teresa should have owned it and said “sorwry, Meliss.” Now – that would have shocked the words right out of Lady Gorga’s mouth!
Now onto the recap. So last night everyone is at the shore except for Caroline Manzo and her fam. They’re back in Franklin Lakes talking about how fat Lauren Manzo is. The Manzos have poop in their pants – meaning they’re wet blanket miserable bores. I used to love Caroline, now I just count the minutes until she’s off the TV. Oh – did I say that out loud? Sorry, Caroline’s publicist! So everyone FUN – or even remotely fun – is at the shore where Teresa is having some gathering on a boat. It will be The Juicys, The Lauritas, The Wakiles, and The Gorgas.
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Last night’s Mob Wives seemed to be another calm episode, thank goodness. Most of the women were dealing with their jacka$$y exes, but there were no screaming matches, no altercations, and no drama. It was a bit weird, I’ll admit!
Drita D’Avanzo is playing with her new pup Lucky when she receives a call from soon-to-be-ex-husband Lee. She shares her rap video/bank robbing debut with Lee, and he’s excited for her. She drops the bomb that she wants to start dating. Drita is confused at how supportive he’s being, and it makes her remember why she married him in the first place. She’s thrilled the pair is getting along and can be friends, but she really wishes Lee had never cheated.
Ramona Rizzo and Karen Gravano head to a specialty grocery. Karen wants to get Ramona’s opinion about reconciling with Drita. Ramona is not at all on board. At. All. Karen is only considering this treaty to make Renee Graziano happy. Ramona warns that Drita will end up getting physical as she’s a “different breed.” Karen is quick to say that the second Drita gets violent, Karen will end up in jail for rearranging her face. Ahhh, mending fences…
Last night’s Survivor was clearly ladies’ night, as Tarzan is the only man left.
We learn that Troyzan whispered “do it” to Kat as he was leaving. Kat is befuddled…does he think she’s going to go against her alliance? Well, someone’s going to have to do it! Alicia thinks that Christina’s ramblings during tribal council only show how wishy washy and weak she is. Alicia thinks Christina needs to stick around a while, but she is starting to feel threatened by the amount of power Sabrina seems to have garnered. Alicia sees herself as a puppet master, poisoning the other women against Sabrina.
After a week’s hiatus from Dance Moms: Miami, the crazy is ba-ack, and this week they are heading north!
Victor and Angel are embarrassed over their last showing–fifth place is a joke at Stars studio. Kimmy makes the top of the list for missing first place in her solo competition by one point. Sammy is at number two for her great solo. Jessi finally works her up from the bottom, and Victor praises her from improving her behavior. Lucas gets a tad misty to see he is fourth on the list, which means Hannah is on the bottom. While she’s improving, it’s not at the same rate as her teammates.
On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County there were bombs over Coto. Gretchen Rossi took the stage – or rather was hoisted up there – and bombed. And Vicki Gunvalson received a news bomb that rendered her speechless for the very first time in television history. Really, has anyone ever seen Vicki speechless? Cause I haven’t. The theme of this episode might as well of been ‘Surprise! By Vicki Gunvalson’ because she had all sorts of emotions we’ve never seen before…
Well, it finally happened. Gretchen put on her sequined leotard, hopped on stage, and belted her little song out. She did it in the same manner as a drunk sorority girl at a karaoke bar – she just screamed it into the mic and didn’t even bother with that whole being in tune thing. Right after Alexis Bellino prayed to our Lord Jesus to give Gretchen a voice and a miracle, the World Renowned Dance Troupe known as The Pussycat Dolls took the stage to shove their twats in people’s faces. They’re right up there with the NY Ballet, didn’t you know.
Tamra Barney, whose front row seat gave her quite the eye-full, can now deliver a baby, perform a pap smear, and administer a Brazilian wax all after a five minute performance. The funniest thing about the show was Vicki and Alexis being completely in denial about their significant other’s enjoyment of the PCD gyrations and thrusts. Vicki claimed good ol’ boys from the south have never seen such things. Oh yeah… huh.
Apparently Jim Bellino was just having an awful time! Just the worst. I mean he’d rather be at the church sewing circle. I mean ugh, there were drinks and pussy cat dolls and scantily clad pussies, oh my! I mean, no straight red-blooded man would be interested in that sort of thing. He’d much prefer to be home on the sofa watching HGTV, snuggled up next to Alexis, wearing her breathe-right strip. He was only there as a supportive partner. Uh huh. We all know Jim is not about sin city. I mean he hates vanity, gluttony, greed, sloth, and pride!
On last night’s 16 and Pregnant, we meet Myranda Trevino and her boyfriend Eric Kennemer from Bronson, Texas. She’s a track star and he hopes to play professional baseball one day. Myranda’s mother Billie has addiction issues and allowed her three months pregnant daughter to move in with Eric at his grandmother’s after the pair had been dating six months. Myranda has a strained relationship with her mother, but during a discussion we learn that Myranda was on the Pill but stopped taking it for a month. She plans to drop out of school and get her GED.
Eric’s Nanny helps the couple and allows the couple to live with her for free. Eric says the most honest thing ever on this show when he tells his brother that Myranda got pregnant because he was thinking with his penis. Eric is working part time and about to start college classes. Nanny is a spitfire. She is annoyed at the pair’s stupidity in light of birth control, and she makes sure to give the couple as little privacy as possible. Nanny drops the bomb that her house isn’t a daycare facility, so the couple will have to find other living arrangements once the baby arrives.