The ladies show up at the airport in good spirits. Porsha Williams had more Louis Vuitton luggage than she has brain cells and negotiating the luggage carousel in heels was like the second coming of Sheneneh. Porsha must look cute because she may meet her future married African sugar daddy husband at the airport! All the single men would rather endure an endless TSA security checkpoint, than deal with PoorTaste – or her baggage!
Upon arriving at the airport Phaedra Parks hid in her limo cause ‘a Krayonce was ‘a comin! She’s been on RHOA trips before… Despite Claudia’s protestations that the Philippines will be positive vibes, Phaedra declares these women would argue even at the second coming of Christ. Of course they would – because Lord knows all of ’em ain’t getting into heaven!
We begin this week’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians with Scott Disick accidentally walking in on Kris Jenner in her closet while she is getting dressed. She spazzes and screams at him to get out of her space! Scott immediately runs downstairs to tell Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian that he did not intentionally try to creep on their mom and Kris whirls into the kitchen freaking out about wanting to have some private space as she flashes everyone her S&M bra under her robe. First of all ew, but also somewhat impressed as she looks good for a woman her age trying to pretend she’s 30.
Later on, Kourtney is in the kitchen with Khloe Kardashian and Khloe mentions that she thinks Scott is up to a shady business deal as all these multiple exotic cars are popping up in the driveway and there are about 10 different license plates strewn upon the counter. Like what is he up to? He could very well have a legitimate biz going on and while I don’t blame him for attempting to expand his skills of profiting outside the realms of reality TV, I highly doubt he’s doing anything resembling a la Guidice to make a buck. We’ll see what he’s up to later on.
We open this week’s episode of Real Housewives of Melbournewith Janet Roach meeting Gina Liano for lunch to discuss the whole deal that went down between Janet, Chyka Keebaugh and Gamble Breaux. Both come wearing fighting colors – orange for Gina and black for Janet. Gina coordinates her outfits down to the eyeshadow. It must take her like 2 hours to get ready before she leaves the house.
Gina wants some clarity on who said what and Janet is in for it. You can just tell Janet gets caught up in the moment with spreading rumors and gossip as Gina is hammering her about what was exactly said, Janet essentially starts stuttering. Janet’s talking in circles and it’s not looking good for her. Gina scolds her and is just like “Shut your trap sometimes because it gets you into trouble!”. I think Janet needed to hear this – but she hated hearing it and walked out of the lunch. This is unfortunate that she took it so poorly from Gina. Janet probably felt pretty bad about the whole ordeal and is now regretting what she said which caused her to get up and leave. I don’t like that Gina inserted herself into the middle of this, but Janet did need a good talking to. Let’s hope this is laid to rest!
Well, it’s time for the new franchise of Lifetime’s Little Women series to make its debut! Little Women: New York premiered last night just after part one of the Little Women: L.A. reunion ended. And crossover “stars” from both cities appeared everywhere. Lila Call, a LWNY cast member, joined the LWLA ladies at their reunion to rehash her extreme antics with the ladies in LA last season. Then Elena Gant showed up on the LWNY premiere to sh*t stir like her name was Christy McGinty. Jeez, Elena! I thought she “had a dream!” that little people everywhere would one day live in peace? This dream is not happening in New York – or LA – with these groups of women.
We begin in NY with an introduction to the 6 little women and 1 little man who make up the cast. Lila Call (the ringleader), Misty Irwin (the party girl), Dawn Lang(paralegal career girl), Jason Perez (poly-sci student and – er – a guy!), Jazmin Lang (sister in law to Dawn & performer), Jordanna James (Broadway & burlesque performer), and Kristin Zettlemoyer (performer). Gotta say, I’m loving the opening video montage and soundtrack! Waaaaaaay better than LWLA!
Who knew there would be a multi-part Little Women: LA reunion? Not this girl! Well, it’s happening. And part one was full of blaming and finger pointing and drama-rehashing…and that was just from the Terra Jole.
Hosting the first hour of the LWLA reunion is Tanika Ray. Since seating arrangements at reunion shows typically speak volumes, it’s noteworthy to point out that Tonya Banks and Terra Jole are seated by themselves on one side of the room while Christy McGinty, Briana Manson, Elena Gant, and Traci Harrison are arranged on the other couch. Terra is very pregnant (and filming new show Terra’s Little Family) and scenes flashback to her pregnancy journey. Terra explains that she’s hopeful her baby is healthy – and we do now know baby Penelope is just fine! Yay! Terra says she’s been feeling some extreme pain and she had a blackout recently, but the baby is growing normally and they’re okay. Christy says she’s excited for Terra, but Terra flat out says that she doesn’t think Christy is genuine in her well-wishing. Tonya is still mad that Terra told Elena about her pregnancy before her, but rest of the group calls out Christy for being an instigator (Ding! Ding! Ding!) for telling Traci (and everyone else) that Terra told Elena first. Terra accuses Christy of being fake, which she refuses to accept.
The Twisted Sicksters Richards are still stranded in Palm Desert after the histrionic horrors of YOU STOLE MY HOUSE! Kim Richards insists she’s grown-up and is waiting for Kyle Richards to treat her like the “healthy, sober older sister who can take care of her life.” Except stupid Kyle is all Kim can’t even tell a vibrator from a lipstick and a Tuesday from a toadstool and God! Do I have to do everything, even cook eggs?! Man, if I were Kyle I would have put Ex-lax in the bitch’s eggs!
Yeah, they ate eggs instead of dealing with the destruction of the night before when Kim hoarsely screeched at Kyle to give back her house right. now. Or ELSE healthy big sober super sister Kim was going to destroy her with her inventive memory and her super weapon: the gossiping drunken lips of Boozdi, a super-villain who will swoop down from the valley with lies of attrition. Kyle meekly says she’s surprised Kim stayed after what happened, Kim just eats and plots to set a bag of Kingsley’s dog poop on fire and throw it on the grill.
So remember years and year ago when Abby Lee Miller was just a teacher and Dance Moms was actually enjoyable to watch? Am I recalling it correctly, or have I clouded my memory with more positive thoughts in an effort to combat the negativity I have to watch now. It’s a total mind game. You know who else likes mind games? Sia. On last night’s episode, the world is finally introduced to this video. Many found it to be artistic, some found it to be highly inappropriate, but I was just happy to see Shia LeBeouf dancing around in a cage. People think he’s weird and controversial, but he’ll always be Louis Stevens to me. And now Louis Stevens is dancing around in a cage with Maddie the dirty wolf. What’s so wrong with that?
Maddie is excited about the video’s release, but she has a hard time explaining the concept to a confused Jill. Jill decides to just call it “artistic” and “open to interpretation” and be done with it. The other moms freak out when they learn that Kathy and her Candy Apples have assembled a brand new team of Abby’s “rejects” (Kira’s word, not mind), and they will be competing against the ALDC this week. Abby is livid, but she needs to focus on the pyramid. Kendall and Nia are on the bottom for not placing in their solos. JoJo, MacKenzie, and Kalani make up the second row for doing a wonderful job in their losing group number. Maddie maintains her place in the top spot. There will be no solos this week, as Abby wants to celebrate Maddie’s wonderful duet with Shia. She pairs Maddie with Kalani for one duet, and she pairs Kendall with JoJo for a Freaky Friday number. MacKenzie and Nia are partnered for a scary duet, which leads up to a murder in the group routine.
Y’all there’s a lot going on with the reality elite of Charleston. After last week’s episode, we were treated to a Thomas Ravenel debacle of single malt proportions on Watch What Happens Live, and then the political (once) hopeful took to social media to passive aggressively snark on co-star Cameran Eubanks while sharing his disdain for his involvement with the show. Don’t be so blue, T-Rav…you’re only two episodes in at this point! You’ve got this, buddy.
Last night’s Southern Charm begins with Cameran moving into her new office…in her mom Bonnie’s office space. Bonnie is still as poised and beautiful as she was twenty-five years ago when my mom signed me up for Millie Lewis so I’d know which fork to use at a dinner party. You know, what twelve-year-olds desire to learn! My mother is probably looking down on me and shaking her head as I pull out the Chinette and plastic ware for my guests (when I can convince people to come over!), and I hope Bonnie never learns of my disposable faux pas. Despite the fact that her new husband is a doctor, Cameran is determined to establish her own career. Across town, newbie Landon Clements greets Shepard “Shep” Rose who is helping her move to her new home on a sailboat. Landon reminds us again that despite her refined Georgia upbringing, she’s not your typical Southern belle. Her new abode, the “Miss Adventure,” is docked at the Charleston marina. She loves her friendship with Shep because it’s easy compared to the who’s who/what club is hot tonight scene of Los Angeles.