Have y'all missed Cathy and the Candy Apples? Abby Lee Miller certainly has not, and we got to hear all about it on last night's Dance Moms. Is it just me, or has this been like the longest season in the show's history? Geez Louise!
After touting her recital as a raving success, Abby goes straight into the pyramid. Not surprisingly, Paige is on the bottom for not participating, followed by sister Brooke. Abby rants on about how she was giving Brooke the opportunity to resurrect her old song, but that Kelly loves to thwart her daughters' happiness at every turn. Kelly, Brooke, and Paige are not in attendance. Surprisingly, Asia is after Brooke, and for once, Jill and Christi may get to see more tears (they love when Asia cries, don't they?). Asia will never be allowed to dress herself after that backwards pants fiasco. Nia rounds out the bottom for just being mediocre, and Holly speaks up that Abby never gives her daughter extra time.
Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe Giudice were indicted on 39-counts of money fraud earlier this week. Yesterday the couple was released on $500,000 bond each and it was discovered that Joe isn't even a U.S. citizen and faces deportation if convicted. So yeah, good times!
In August the couple meets back in court where both plan to enter Not Guilty pleas, but it's apparently Teresa will try to get out of jail time while Juicy does the dirty work. Hey – they do have four kids AND a reality television career to nurture!
Speaking of reality TV, Teresa's attorney Henry Klingeman is targeting Real Housewives of New Jersey as the reason Teresa and Joe are in such trouble. Oh rlllly…
While Vicki and Brooks' relationship appears to be as on-and-off as a light switch, Lauri is Waring wary that the couple's recent break-up may not be what it seems. She is speculating that the pair is using the story of a turbulent love affair to appease family and friends when they are actually quite happy together behind closed doors.
Say what? A housewife manipulating her relationship status to stay in the spotlight? Unheard of!
You know that scene in Ghost when Whoopi Goldberg's character looks at Demi Moore and says, "Molly. You in danger, girl"? I picture something like that happening when I think of the recent Kardashian drama…only in my head, Kim Kardashian is Molly and the part of Oda Mae Brown is played by auto-tuned Jonathan Cheban. Why? Because Kim was in danger earlier this week!
A foolish paparazzo tried to sneak onto Kris Jenner'sproperty Monday, and the mother-daughter duo retaliated in a flurry of cell phone footage and hashtags. Hashtags? I hope she has a permit for those!
Teresa Giudice is in big trouble! And not the kind of generic fodder for tabloids that usually erupts on reality TV shows.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star has just been federally indicted on 39-counts of financial fraud along with her husband Joe Giudice. Teresa and Joe both plan to plead Not Guilty and it's clear Teresa is going to try and dumb her way out of this because she has a lot to lose in going to prison. Hey, Martha Stewart's career survived, maybe Teresa's can as well?
Reality Tea's source tells us EXCLUSIVELY that while Teresa is putting on a tough exterior, reality is for real hitting home for the Giudices and things are a mess!
"Teresa and Joe are a nervous wreck," our source reveals. "Joe's parents went to court with him and Teresa today. Things are bad."
If ever there was a reason to say no to a proposal, it was an autotune-botched warbling of a wannabe Taylor Swift. And that proposal came courtesy of Gretchen Rossi. But of course Slade Smiley, who has been practicing the trickling of a single tear in the mirror for weeks, did not say no. Oh no … HE said yes! And it was all over-acted to puke-fection.
So yeah, let's start there shall we with the Real Housewives of Orange County proposal that just went on and on and on and on. Phase One: Slade at work at his radio station pretending he has a job like doing things on the radio. I was always convinced he just put up some microphones in Gretchen's overly cluttered garage, but apparently Radio Slade is a for realz thing.
Slade's partner announces a new song. A voice, a voice like mystic magic floating over clouds of heaven comes soaring over the airways. 'That sound…' gasps Slade staring off into the distance. I think someone has been watching The Sound Of Music… That voice, that he does not recognize because even WITH heavily deployed autotune it still sounds flat, plastic, and phony as hell (not unlike its owner), is Gretchen. And that song is asking him to marry him.