Reality Tea

Kenya Moore Velvet

Apollo Nida‘s legal issues were the main focus of the Real Housewives of Atlanta season premiere, but we did get to see little bits of what the other cast members have been up to since the reunion. Cynthia Bailey, who’s on the hunt for a new best friend, followed the scent of loneliness and ended up on Kenya Moore‘s doorstep.

I imagined Cynthia saying to herself, ‘I shall call her Krazy, and she shall be mine, and she shall be my Krazy.’ HaHa. Don’t get me wrong, though, Kenya‘s crazy is the only reason I watch RHOA. Kenya took to her blog to share her thoughts on the season premiere. Including titles: RIP Baby Velvet, Detroit vs. Everybody Else, Ignorance is not a Handicap, Promise to Detroit Children, and Love Me or Hate Me. So dramatic. So Kenya. Here we go.

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nene leakes on wwhl after RHOA season 7 premiere 

NeNe Leakes seems to have forgotten where she came from! Since landing a gig in Broadway’s Cinderella sources reveal that her ego is out of control – and she thinks she’s a big-name star! As she prepares to perform in the play NeNe is bragging about a potentially star-studded guest list coming just to see her! 

Kim Kardashian is coming to see me, and she’s bringing North. Teresa [Giudice]’s bringing her daughters,” NeNe boasts. “More celebrities will come. I’m sure.” Umm… celebrities or “celebrities.” But of course, Kim will come, because duh – paparazzi might be there to take photo of her acting like she cares about igNori. But I suppose, a children’s play is better than a fashion show

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Teen Mom 2 Leah Calvert

I imagine Leah Calvert and Jeremy Calvert‘s decision to work on their marriage went a little like this: they touched hands while both reaching into the Cheeto bag at the same time. There were sparks – and Hot Cheetos were made. Then the Teen Mom 2 star dumped the bag out on the coffee table and instead of reading tea leaves to predict her future, she read Cheeto dust. It said Jerrrrr-meeee and Leah – FOR-EV-ER.

Then Leah realized she could highlight her hair using the neon orange Cheeto crumbles, and do a vow renewal at the Mingo County Community Center (real place y’all) or in Nitro, WV (real place, y’all!) and honeymoon at the Boones Farm Dispensary. Or you know, maybe she and Jeremy just started following each other on twitter again and changed their Facebook statuses from “Divorced” to “It’s Complicated” Both are equally insane ways to deal with a marital problems, amirate?! 

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Phaedra Parks marriage over

The much anticipated season seven premiere of Real Housewives of Atlanta focused heavily on Phaedra Parks and Apollo Nida, specifically the fact that Phaedra was not “there” for Apollo on the day of his sentencing. I, for one, was annoyed Bravo spent so much time on Apollo’s version of his sob story. Then again, Bravo loves their criminals. Silly me.

Phaedra took to her blog to talk about how her life has changed since Apollo was sentenced to eight years in prison.

“Words cannot express the turmoil this situation has caused our family, and I can’t even begin to articulate how hard it has been,” said Phaedra. “When you face a situation like this, you can choose to either break down or stay strong; I chose to stay strong because I have two young children that need a parent to give them stability and keep the ship sailing.”

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cynthia bailey and peter thomas in the hamptons - red dress

Cynthia Bailey‘s marriage to Peter Thomas almost never happened, but happen it did – and it’s been causing Cynthia grief ever since. Apparently that is partially The Real Housewives Of Atlanta’s fault. Of course, it’s also NeNe Leakes fault. Speaking of which, Cynthia says NeNe’s days as star of RHOA are numbered – well that’s it, it’s time for a reality TV divorce! 

Regarding their marriage, Peter has threatened to cheat, wanted a love nest, gets in fights with her friends, can’t keep a business afloat, her family can’t stand him, and – and! – when Cynthia had fibroids the dude could not cope! Cynthia says this season her marriage has improved now that NeNe is out of her life, but she and Peter still continue to have a bevy of financial problems – he declared bankruptcy, Bar One is currently in the process of being relocated after the owner of the building was foreclosed on, and Peter can’t afford to put gas in his Mercedes

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lisa vanderpump is firing people at SUR

Oh Vanderpump Rules never fails to disappoint does it!? And last night Peter Madrigal was allll riled up,  which is HOTTT times a million. I digress. The important things were that in the battle of the girly-men, Tom Sandoval got his false eyelashes ripped off and his delicate constitution bruised, and James Kennedy got his size 23 skinny jeans protected by Kristen Doute, who was punching the beglitter out of Tom 1. Pent up rage, anyone? 

Tom Schwartz, well he tried in vain (“vain” being the operative word) to break things up, but OMG – his hair! His pearly, flawless skin! His modeling career.

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POP Culture Living Presents The Vanderpump Beverly Hills Collection Launch Hosted By Lisa Vanderpump

Lisa Vanderpump’s family turned out to support her on the launch of her new lifestyle collection.  Lisa kicked off the debut of The Vanderpump Beverly Hills Collection by Pop Culture Promotions and put her new wares on display for guests in attendance.

There weren’t any Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cameras lurking about at the party nor any castmates in attendance, so I’m going to venture a guess that this event won’t be featured on the upcoming season.   Lisa probably wanted to keep it classier than that. 

 

dina talks family issues

Dina Manzo kept her Bravo blog short and sweet this week.  The (former?) Real Housewives of New Jersey star is left pondering “what the hell am I doing here?.” 

“I kind of meant what I said on that couch — this show is so f—ed up. As I sit and watch the reunion, I wonder what goes through people’s head sometimes. Bobby literally spitting on me as he screams at a friend of 10 years, Jim whipping out his files and then of all things says I have a fat ass, LOL! For what? Fame? I literally sat there saying to myself time and time again, “What the hell am I doing here?” Again, not ever saying I’m too good, but just different.”