Does denial grow on trees in sunny California? What about psychosis? I mean, it must, right if Vanderpump Rules is any indication of life in LA. Last night Katie Maloney had an awakening and Tom Sandoval had a’shakening when he realized that Kristen Doute really is stalking him and he is going to end up the subject of a cautionary tale seen on Lifetime. Hey – I’d watch, but only if they cast an actor with better hair.
Lisa Vanderpump is swanning around Villa Blanca, pruning roses, whistling while she works, conversing with birds when one of her 7 gnomes – Sleazy – arrives. Jax Taylor is just hoping for some free food – and some permission to start “banging” the new hostess Vail. Lisa immediately attempts to put the breaks on that notion by snipping the pruning sheers near Jax’s poker.
Before Lisa even has the opportunity to take off her transparent unicorn leather gardening gloves (special edition Gucci), gnome 2 – Sniffly – arrives to burst in to tears. Katie blames being allergic to decent human beings and scents other than stale booze for her watery eyes. She tells Lisa that Tom 2 would rather have Jax in his life than Katie, but she doesn’t want to be alone. What if she turns into Kristen?!
Stop the bus! We’ve got a lot of Stevie J. news to share. Before I start, I certainly hope that Mona Scott Young has Dr. Drew on speed dial so she can cash in on her Love & Hip Hop Atlanta star’s latest dramz! Celebrity Rehab plus LHH:ATL definitely equals a reality train wreck we’d all tune in to watch. And I’m worried about the future of humanity! 😉
We all know that ol’ Stevie has been battling the feds over a minor child support snafu. Please note that “minor” was supposed to be typed in my special “sarcasm” font. The reality star reportedly owes back support to one the mothers of his children to the tune of over $1 million after neglecting to pay since 2001. His hearing is scheduled for January 9th, but apparently Stevie is hoping to strike a deal. Here’s hoping it happens before he heads to rehab. Yes, you read that correctly!
I don’t know about y’all, but I think this season of Love & Hip Hop is one of the most authentic and real examples of VH1’s reality show offerings. The Peter Gunz/Amina Buddafly/Tara Wallace love triangle? Totally believable! The relationship between Cisco and Diamond Strawberry? It’s the epitome of true romance! And Chrissy? Talk about the ultimate business woman! Mona, you have truly outdone yourself this time! Last night’s episode reconvenes with Yandy Smith and Mendeecees Harris fixin’ to get hitched in Vegas…except that Yandy just can’t do it. She tearfully explains her desire for a big wedding with family to the officiant, and Mendeecees seconds her assertions as the poor officiant cheerfully nods in the background. I never saw that coming! I truly thought they would be man and wife after last night. Meanwhile, Amina is working on a new album with her sister who is in town from Germany. I feel like the only thing genuine about this show is the talent. You know I’m right! Amina admits that she doesn’t really trust Peter and that he’s not around often.
Erica Mean and Cyn are starting a business together, but Cyn is more involved with her girlfriend’s Instagram drama with Chrissy. Cyn isn’t buying Erica’s elusive attitude when it comes to why Chrissy is coming for her on social media. Speaking of being elusive, Diamond has finally arrived in New York, but Cisco isn’t quite ready to open his home to his new girlfriend. Instead, he’s found a friend who will let her crash at her place. No worries, though. He’ll be by to visit. That seems reasonable.
First up, Katie tackled the confounding matter of Kristen “Kritter” Doute and the little train of crazy that keeps gaining steam. Katie says contrary to what Kristen believes, she doesn’t hate her over cheating scandals – it’s just everything else about her personality that sucks!
“I’m not holding a grudge or punishing Kristen for sleeping with Jax. Kristen really did make our lives hell at times, it was just not good. Unfortunately you don’t get to see all of that,” Katie explains. “I know that Kristen was hurt at the end of her and Tom [Sandoval]‘s relationship. I don’t think she was taking into consideration her part of the deterioration. I think that Tom is absolutely happy with Ariana and Kristen should try to find that for herself.”
Brandi Glanville has never met a bitch she likes! Rocking some serious winged eyeliner (Lord does she need to fire whomever is in charge of her face), she spouts off about everyone in the entertainment industry from Lisa Vanderpump to Justin Bieber in a celebrity edition of The Name Game.
Andy surmised that it must be hard for Phaedra to watch this season of RHOA considering all she has gone through – and is still going through – with Apollo. “Definitely. Any time you are dealing with something very personal in the media and on TV it’s very difficult,” said Phaedra. “It’s quite uncomfortable.”
Kourtney Kardashian begins this episode of Kourtney And Khloe Take the Hamptons with a little badgering session with Scott Disick urging him to visit his parents house and get it sorted out, cleaned, and possibly sold. Scott is still in a weird place and doesn’t feel ready to process the fact that his parents are actually dead. I get Kourt’s point but she needs to lay off. Grief comes in many forms with people and you can’t push them to go through it. They just deal with it when they are ready to deal with it.
However, the next day Kourt and Scott hop in the car and cruise around his old neighborhood where he grew up. They do a drive-by of some chick’s house that was Scott’s first kiss when he was 12 (and in tasteful Scott manner, calls her a whore) and he discovers that he’s not in the mood to deal with this now. Later that evening, he confesses to Kourt that although he hates to leave her solo out in the Hamptons – he needs to get back to LA for work opportunities (still confused what he does exactly, but I digress). Surprisingly, Kourt is very un-Kourt like and is mellow with her reaction to the news. She’s totally cool with him heading back to LA but not before they make a trip to a childhood favorite of Scott’s family, Fire Island. He reluctantly agrees so we’ll see where this takes us.