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Oh, lawd. Well, it's happening… I'm being held hostage and forced to write recaps of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I oughta just call these recaps: Memories Of The Mountain State: The Reality TV Homecoming Of Mary McClelland. 

So last night baby Kaitlyn nearly came out of Anna's biscuit before she was done bakin' or bacon depending on who you ask: Mama or Honey Boo Boo

Seventeen-year-old Anna started having contractions at 34 weeks and said they made her vajayjay hurt. Girl, I have got to tell you – THAT is called pregnancy. So they called 9-1-1 and raced Anna to the hospital in an am'blance. Seriously. Did the pageant mobile not have gas in it? Did Honey put spray tan in the tank? Mama yells at her not to push. 

At the hospital Anna is disappointed she is in pain and has stuff on her stomach. Well, stuff comin' out of yer coochie is what having a baby is like, Anna. It hurts a lot more comin out than it does goin' in, girl! The doctors send Anna home and she's on strict bedrest. No baby Kaitlyn yet – Mama is relieved because taking care of a premie is a lot of work. Honey Boo Boo pokes at Anna repeatedly to make sure she's not pushing out a bacon. All clear. 

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Remember that time Kim Kardashian stamped her feet and swore that Old Navy was trying to use a copycat version of her for their commercials and she threatened to sue?  She did.  And she won.  Seriously.

For those who don't remember, Old Navy used singer and model Melissa Molinaro in a commercial in early 2011.  She looks similar to Kim but that could be said for MANY women out there. Kim felt Old Navy was deceiving consumers since some of her Twitter followers mistook Melissa for Kim, so she sued them. 

I hadn't heard much about the case, so I thought maybe Kim decided to drop that bit of ridiculousness, but that wasn't the case.  Even though legal experts felt that Kim's case was a little far-fetched, Old Navy was ordered to pay Kim off. 

 

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This episode wraps up season one of Hollywood Exes. The Exes have shared great times and endured bad times, but season one ends nicely. The women end the season with a toast to a new journey and new friends.

Last week on Hollywood Exes, Mayte Garcia auditioned for a role in a movie. Mayte is anxious, waiting to hear back from her agent. Just as Mayte asks Nelly if she has any pills for anxiety, Gladys calls with the good news. The director loved Mayte's audition tape and wants to offer her the role. Mayte and Nelly celebrate the good news while Mayte's dog Boogie walks on a treadmill. Those L.A. dogs aren't just born that fabulous, you know, they have to work for it!

Sheree Fletcher surprises her husband Terrell Fletcher with a trip to Harley Davidson.Terrell has been pining over a bike for awhile now, but Sheree is against the idea. However, now that she has an agenda, she's down with it. Sheree hopes a new bike will distract Terrell from the fact that his wife lives in L.A. while he lives in San Diego. For ever now, Sheree is not willing to relocate. She's banking on the motorcycle buying her at least another year in L.A.

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It's been a rough couple of days for Real Houswives of Orange County's Tamra Barney.  The outspoken Bravolebrity is in the hospital recovering from emergency surgery.  Very scary!  What she suspected was ulcer pain turned out to be a very problematic hernia. 

Before calling 9-1-1, Tamra took to Twitter to share her pain, tweeting, "Sh*t here we go again, think its time to see a doctor? Severe pain in upper stomach after drinking coffee. Ulcer maybe?"  Thankfully the ambulance came before she could fire off any more tweets.

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nicole richie fragrance 290812

Fashion Star mentor Nicole Richie is expanding her own fashion and beauty empire. 

Nicole was on hand at Macy's in Glendale yesterday afternoon to launch her new fragrance, Nicole. 

Season 2 of Fashion Star doesn't have a premiere date yet, but we do know that changes have been going on with the show behind the scenes.  Elle Macpherson previously announced that she will not be hosting season 2, and sadly, H&M has decided not to participate in the upcoming season.  I'm a little shocked by that one since the clothing sold out INSTANTLY after the show aired, especially on H&M's more reasonably-priced site! 

TELL US – ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO SEASON 2?

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Photo Credit: C.Smith/WENN

Joe Giudice has been in trouble with the law for what seems like YEARS! The Real Housewies of New Jersey star recently rejected a plea bargain offered by New Jersey prosecutors in his identity fraud case, instead opting to go to trial and plead not-guilty.  

Joe's trial date was initially set for October 1, 2012, but according to Chief Assistant Prosecutor Jay McCann it will likely be postponed until 2013. 

“The chances of it going on that day are slim,” Mr. McCann told Celebuzz. “We are going to have to get closer to the day to see if the judge will have time.”

“The court tries to give preference to cases for those who are incarcerated first,” he added. According to Mr. McCann it is likely that Joe will take the stand in his own defense and the trial will take place sometime before June 2013. 

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Basketball Wives' Evelyn Lozada just can't catch a break, can she?  First, she gets head butted by her God awful husband Chad Ochocinco Johnson when the pair had barely been married a month, said headbutting leads to divorce and the cancellation of her spin-off Ev & Ocho.  Add to that all the classy ladies Chad was seeing in addition to his wife, and it's been a pretty cruddy couple of weeks for the reality television star.

Well, they say when it rains it pours.  Now it seems that Evelyn's first scheduled post-abuse incident interview isn't going as planned either.  Not only that, one of Chad's best friends is coming to his defense and blaming Evelyn for the head butt heard 'round the world.  Do what?

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