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Celebrity Apprentice Recap


Last night’s Celebrity Apprentice was sponsored by Crystal Light, a drink I’m pretty sure is only purchased by dieting women. In fact, the first true reaction anyone had to the announcement of this week’s sponsor, was by Aubrey O’Day ,who gushed that the low-calorie drink helped her lose weight.

Apparently, Crystal Light is attempting to cash in on Bethenny Frankel’s lady drinker gravy train and has created a line of drinks inspired by cocktails. This week’s assignment for our celebrities was to each throw a fabulous launch party for two of the drinks: Peach Bellini and Pomtini. Immediately, I thought that Teresa Giudice was a natural choice for project manager. Not only has she thrown several huge parties on Real Housewives of New Jersey, but she actually has a line of (alcoholic) Bellini’s on the market.

Instead, Aubrey took the job for Forte. No one mentioned it on the show, but I really feel disappointed that Teresa didn’t step up on this task. Is her strategy simply just to coast? Clay Aiken talking heads that Aubrey is a natural for this task, because “Aubrey popped right out of her momma’s chotch and started grabbing on to the stripper pole.” Clay Aiken: hilarious! Who knew?

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This week’s Celebrity Apprentice had the perfect name, Failure To Launch. At the end of the episode, it didn’t feel like anyone did a particularly good job, with everyone skating by and leaning on their alliances.

The task this week: create a 10 minute presentation on the new Buick Verrano and answer a 10 minute Q & A. Donald tells everyone the task, while standing at Grand Army Plaza, with all his rich friends looking down on him from their high-rises. He says some of them are great people, and others are scum. And which one would you be, Donald? That’s a question for the ages.

It’s obvious that Michael Andretti, the race car driver from a legendary racing family, should be the project manager, but for reasons beyond human understanding, Adam Carolla is chosen as project manager. On the women’s side, Debbie Gibson takes the lead since she has experience performing. I didn’t hear them say the presentation would be at a mall, but okay.

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The two hours of product placement given to Ivanka Trump by Celebrity Apprentice last night totally worked because I actually googled Ivanka’s line. It’s basically a line of cute conservative clothes for career girls, “reasonably” priced or downright cheap if you have Ivanka’s budget, but not exactly accessible to those of us who have to shop the sale rack at Forever 21.

I can’t go any further on this recap without mentioning the most memorable thing that happened during the broadcast, which, unfortunately was not even on the show itself, but was the insanely long commercial for Cartier that aired during the first commercial break. If you haven’t seen it, watch it so you’ll have something to talk about at lunch with your co-workers, because judging from Twitter’s reaction, that’s all anyone remembers.

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This week’s episode of the longest show on television, Celebrity Apprentice was not only the most anyone has ever mentioned restaurant chain, Medieval Times on television, since their ubiquitous ads in the 90s, but was also an ad for the Real Housewives franchise.

This is unsurprising considering Real Housewives of New Jersey cast-member, Teresa Giudice‘s presence on the cast and NBC’s ownership of the Bravo network. While, it made sense for the women’s team, Forte, to pick the ‘Un-Real Housewives of Camelot’ as their theme for their 15 minute Medieval Times show (this week’s assignment), it all felt a little dirty, especially when Aubrey O’Day excitedly announced the Real Housewives had “like, 5 million viewers.”

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On last night’s season premiere of Celebrity Apprentice, we met our new gang of folks of questionable notoriety on a quest to make money for charity…and advance their dead (in the case of Arsenio Hall and Dee Snider) or just getting started (Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Teresa Giudice) careers.

The first challenge was for each team to take over a sandwich shop, and sell sandwiches to raise money for their respective charities. The ladies decided to go with the name Forte, suggested by pop queen Debbie Gibson, which seems like a grammatically incorrect choice, but that’s probably not a strong point for this bunch. The men choose Unanimous, since they’re all friends. Aww. I would have expected something manlier given their choice of Paul Teutul of American Chopper as their project manager. Something like “Brakes and Babes” or “Muscle Confidential.”

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Celebrity Apprentice winner John Rich

Heading into the Celebrity Apprentice finale last night, it was a tight race between country singer John Rich, 37, and deaf actress Marlee Matlin, 45 (she looks great for 45 no?).

In fact Donald Trump revealed that this was his toughest ruling yet in the history of the show. “I’ve never had to go through something like this… You’ve both been amazing,” said Trump to both finalists before announcing a winner.

Ultimately, John, one-half of the country-music duo Big & Rich, came out on top, beating Marlee to earn a $250,000 check for the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Marlee had been competing for the Starkey Hearing Foundation charity.

“Today has been an unbelievable day!” said John after his win. “I got Trump to put on a Stetson hat on national television and now I get to drive down to Memphis with a $250,000 check for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.”

With the exception of Richard Hatch, who is back in prison for tax evasion (much to the delight of David Cassidy), most of the “fired” contestants returned for the live finale. Though noticeably missing was music legend Dionne Warwick.

Of course the Donald had to revisit the whole Nene Leakes vs everyone Star Jones drama. Nene claimed she had moved on and didn’t hold a grudge, only to yell over Star seconds later while Star attempted to answer a question from Trump.

And right before he made the winner announcement, Trump promised to do something he had never done before. What was that you ask? Well while he hired John, he did not fire Marlee. Rightfully so as there were no losers this season with over $3 million raised for charity– a record for the show.

It was also announced last week that Trump will return for another season of the Celebrity Apprentice.

TELL US – HAPPY WITH THE RESULTS? DID THE RIGHT CONTESTANT WIN?

Last night on Celebrity Apprentice, the Donald narrowed down the final four contestants to the final two! And if there’s one thing to be learned from this episode, it is that without Nene Leakes and Star Jones on the show, it was more of a boring mellow 2 hours.

The episode began with the three previous winners of the show, Joan Rivers, Bret Michaels and Piers Morgan, interviewing the final four contestants to determine which two should leave the competition.

Lil Jon had a major slip up when he told the panel John Rich and Marlee Matlin deserved to be in the finals over him. Though he tried to back track, the damage was already done. “My three winners hated your answer when they asked you who should be in the finals and you didn’t say yourself,” said Donald Trump to Lil Jon before firing him.

The next in line was Meat Loaf who was also fired by Trump for crying every second being too emotional. “Piers and Joan and Bret didn’t like your emotions,” said Trump. “But, I think your emotions are beautiful. Even though I think the emotion is a positive, from a business standpoint too much emotion can be not so good. Therefore, Meat Loaf you’re fired.”

With those two firings, the not so shocking final two included John and Marlee. It was then time for the final challenge and Trump brought out some of the previously fired contestants to help out. John chose Lil Jon, Mark McGrath and Star for his team, while Marlee chose Richard Hatch and Meat Loaf, also ending up with La Toya Jackson who wasn’t chosen by anyone.

The final challenge? To launch the 7UP Retro brand. On Marlee’s team, she had to deal with a cra cra Meat Loaf who was all over the place, while Big Daddy Rich had to ward off some flirtatious advances from Star. Ultimately, John’s team came up with a zebra-striped 1980′s 7UP can design while he enlisted the help of Dee Snider of Twisted Sister. While Marlee’s team decided to call on 1970s 7UP icon Geoffrey Holder to help with her ad. And do not feel bad if you don’t know who any of these icons are, thank goodness for wikipedia, it just means you were likely born after 1980.

And next week, we will discover who won this season of the Celebrity Apprentice plus a live reunion show. Nene also stated last week that she will be in attendance so buckle up folks! It should be a good show.

TELL US – DID DONALD TRUMP GET IT RIGHT WITH THE TWO FIRINGS? WHO SHOULD BE CROWNED THE NEXT WINNER? JOHN OR MARLEE?

The super-duper sized 3-hour episode of Celebrity Apprentice aired last night and it did not disappoint! The episode brought us a not so surprising whiner and quitter, a sequel of a previous firing, and ended with arguably the most shocking “you’re fired” of the season!

Let’s begin with Donald Trump meeting up with the remaining 7 contestants to give them instructions for their new task. Nene Leakes, who verbally attacked Star Jones last week for reasons still unclear, is feeling much better this day and ready to make up with Star. When asked by Trump if she was ready to work with the Nene, Star made it clear that answer was a NO. And can you blame her? Trump ended up moving Nene to the other team, and the overly sensitive bully’s feelings were apparently hurt. Victim Nene stated she needed some time to herself, and selfishly disappeared on her team, who were forced to work without her. “Nene is so disappointing to me. You can’t abandon us. She didn’t even say goodbye,” stated John Rich.

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