My apologies for a Farrah Abraham story on a Monday but we just can't resist the ish that comes out of her mouth. Today's rambles include more about her Celebrity Sex Tape trilogy and a diss aimed at her Teen Mom co-stars.
Farrah says she turned to writing after the mess that was her leaked sex tape. And by "sex tape" I mean professionally produced porn by Vivid Entertainment and by "leaked" I mean professionally distributed porn by Vivid Entertainment.
Farrahexplains, "I think because of the experiences I went through and I think some of them were unfair and I guess judged incorrectly from the public when I was going through some things with my sex tape – I think it was the catalyst for me to start writing therapeutically and then I was thinking of fictional characters so I could kind of get out of my head and this came about." If you tilt your head to the right and close one eye, that very long sentence kind of makes sense.
When it comes to Farrah, two things are certain: she has no shame and she knows what to say to get a headline. So of course a publisher of smut books would want to hitch a ride on the Farrah Express. They will have to sit up front though. The caboose is closed for repairs.
Farrah's first stop: Radar. To talk about Sophia, her five-year-old daughter, reading the erotica. When she's older, of course, but now is a perfect time to talk about it. #EyeRoll
I apologize in advance. There is so much for me to be sorry for in this post. I am sorry to each of you, because what you are about to read is truly ridiculous, but I urge you to keep reading. Why? Because I can't unread it, and I want people to suffer with me. I'm sorry to Jessica Alba (you'll want to apologize to her too, trust me). I'm sorry to the English language. I butcher you enough, but I am no where near the offender that Farrah Abraham is, and she's a flipping New York Times bestselling author.
I'm really sorry to the blogger at Celeb Buzz who had to interview the Teen Mom star turned porn queen and try to make sense of some of the things that come out of this chick's mouth (double entendre not intended…wait, yes it was). Lastly, I feel sorry FOR young Sophia because she is going to have a lot to overcome. I even pity Farrah. Sure, she's making more money than I'll ever see in my life, but wow. She is just a sad, lost soul.
Farrah completed book one of the trilogy, Celebrity Sex Tape, and secured a publishing deal for all three books. The first book is Celebrity Sex Tape: In The Making. The trilogy follows a character by the name of Fallon Opal – she's a reality TV star who likes sex. HAHA – wonder how long it took Farrah to develop that character.
Farrah shared, “Fallon’s story follows what I’ve gone through recently, much of it witnessed and misunderstood by the public. Book One is an entertaining and sexually charged novel, but it is also an inside look at the underside of being a reality TV star that everyone else can relate to.”
Who has ten fingers, ten toes, and ten plastic surgeons on speed dial? Farrah Abraham, of course, and her never ending quest for attention continues with a new Keek video and a short chat about what she's been up to lately.
The soon-to-be laughingstock of Couples Therapy took to Keek yesterday – sans Christmas face – to show us what a hard-working author looks like. "Does it look like I'm busy working? Oh yes! No makeup, totally hair back, and doing it all. This is what it looks like to be a New York Times best-selling author."
Farrah went on to reveal that she's writing an "amazing amazing novel" for our amusement, err, reading pleasure.
Speaking to Kallum Green of Mosh News, Farrah shared, "Right now I'm doing some Teen Mom stuff. Starting out in 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom- it's always going to be a part of my life! I have tried my hardest to continue my education and continue being hard working and striving for everything, whether it's acting, modeling, or culinary aspirations. But, all in all, my never ending job is continuously being a good mom."
Good news!Farrah Abrahamis writing her third – or fourth? – book. And she's ready to blast the adult entertainment industry (which pays her bills) in the name of strong women around the world. #inspirational #delusional
WhenFarrah Abraham got all her plastic surgery did she get her brain removed as well? I mean I guess that's assuming she had one to begin with…
Since leaving Teen Mom, Farrah has decided to do everything in her power to get attention and she is majorly embracing her new career as a XXX star and self-professed "erotica" expert! Here's the rundown of her latest antics.
First up, Farrah was recently in Chicago for the EXXXOTICA conference and on her way back she brought a friend: an industrial sized massive vibrator! Describing it as a "weapon" Farrah bragged in a Keek video that she made it through security with said weapon. Sadly, she was not arrested and detained (or deported) by TSA! Bummer.
Earlier today, Reality Tea reported that Farrah Abraham has enrolled in Pace University's online Lubin School of Business, with a plan to focus on internal auditing and accounting. Farrah shared that she expects to use the degree when she opens her own restaurant.
Personally, I think the former Teen Mom star is way more likely to pursue the "lube business" than to graduate from the Lubin School of Business. Actually, given her hapless spelling/grammar skills, she might have meant to Google lube when she happened upon lubin. Oh my. Farrah and/or her business professor might be in for quite a shock when she hands in her first assignment.
Okay. I kid. Farrah obviously knows that she has enrolled in a business school; however, my brain will forever read it as Lube School. Coincidentally, while promoting Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom at the Exxxotica expo in Florida, Farrah shared more about her plans.