Katie Maloney

Scheana Marie Shay

I used to root for Katie Maloney to come out of Stassi Schroeder‘s shadow on Vanderpump Rules, but now that she has, she’s getting the mean girl edit as the new leader of the clique. Katie, Stassi, and Kristen Doute do not like LaLa Kent and they never have. So obviously they want to ostracize her to the point where it wouldn’t make sense for her to be in the cast and they can get LaLa off of (what they perceive to be) their show. And you know that squad was not going to tolerate Scheana Marie Shay being friendly with LaLa.

I can see why they wouldn’t want their friend to be friends with a woman that they have declared to be an enemy – but come on, LaLa is a SUR hostess and Scheana is a waitress, so they have to communicate every single time they’re at the restaurant. Why wouldn’t they just try to be pleasant when they interact? It doesn’t mean they have to be best friends, or even be friends at all, but having a civil rapport sounds better than being miserable every single shift. But maybe I’m just being too logical about this since Scheana seems to disagree.

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Scheana

High school… these problems matter! These people are in high school like the original cast of 90210 were. Meaning the “kids” on Vanderpump Rules are 30 going on 13, and it’s ridiculous.

Last night, Katie Maloney, Bridezilla of West Hollywood (she may actually just be straight up Godzilla at this point because she does seem to think she’s God), demanded Scheana Marie never, ever have an opinion contrary to Katie’s, like, ever again, and if Scheana does like ever, ever, ever deign to think for herself, she will be dumped like room temperature white wine.

Katie is the one who needs to be bumped – by Tom 2 and everyone else. She and Stassi Schroeder deserve each other.

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Tom Schwartz prank

When Tom Schwartz made a steak dinner for Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval on the last episode of Vanderpump Rules, it just seemed like he was doing a sweet gesture to ask them to be groomsmen in his wedding, but it was actually a nasty prank.

After Tom asked the guys to take part in the wedding, he handed them both big envelopes full of photos that revealed that the steak and shrimp they ate had previously been in-between his butt cheeks. As if that wasn’t gross enough Tom also revealed that he ran that day and did not shower. Eeeeww.

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Tom and Jax

Vanderpump Rules is having some sort of quarter life crisis. While Stassi Schroeder is playing the adoring sycophant, Katie Maloney is attempting to reinvent herself as season 1 and 2 Stassi. It’s a piss-poor imitation though because Katie lacks the razor-sharp edge and sheer cunning wit required to pull off Stassi-ness, not to mention Katie lacks the conviction with which Stassi conducted herself as empress of the skirtsteaks. Also Katie doesn’t own a statement necklace which is like the scrunchie of SUR.

Katie is a mere “Fetch,” trying to force herself to happen as the leader of the SUR tribe, except she’s nothing but a sheep in wolf’s clothing. And she needs to give Stassi back her fur.

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bravo-pump-rules-tom-schwartz

If you’re easily grossed out, you might want to skip tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules! Or at least don’t have steak for dinner before watching it (you definitely won’t want steak for a while after watching it…).  Tonight Tom Schwartz dishes up some revenge to Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval and it’s gag-inducing, but brings him a whole lot of joy. We’ll leave it at that and not spoil it for you.

Also on tonight’s episode, Katie Maloney asks Stassi, Scheana, and Kristen Doute to be her bridesmaids. Katie excludes Ariana Madix from her list of chosen ones because she’s upset that Ariana is still talking to Lala Kent.  Katie later questions her decision to include Scheana when she’s seen being friendly to Lala.

Katie-Maloney-Tom-Schwartz-Instagram-Animals-Charity

We’ve seen Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney grow up a lot over the years on Vanderpump Rules. They went from background cast to the main players. They overcame a shit ton of drama and now they are mature married folks – or at least they are in this instance. Tom and Katie opened up about their life as newlyweds and they have lent their time and faces to support an animal charity.

Clearly they’re taking a cue from Lisa Vanderpump by helping out the animals and I am sure that she is proud of them. And as of now it doesn’t seem like Tom and Katie have any marital drama, then again they just got married. Hopefully this remains the case.

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pump-rules-brittany

Last night Lisa Vanderpump hosted World Dog Day and declared it a mandatory requirement for all Vanderpump Rules stars to own a dog. James Kennedy is exempt, however, because obviously Lisa cares about the welfare of her furry friends!

OK, just kidding – they didn’t have to own a dog, but it might as well have been a decree. Some of them <ahem… Stassi Schroeder…> were so eager to suck-up to Lisa via dog-loving they adopted two poor doggies, and dressed them up in bonnets fit for English Tea.

Before we dealt with dogs, however, we had to deal with pussy cats. And also bitches. All in a days work at SUR, right!? The bitch is Jax Taylor who has been spreading news of Kristen Doute petting Brittany Cartwright‘s kitty-cat all over SUR.

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Lisa Vanderpump - WWHL

Lisa Vanderpump believes true love can happen on Vanderpump Rules, although not without some serious trials and tribulations. This season Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney will put her theory to the test.

The scandal plagued couple finally becomes a symbiotic unit when they tie the knot, but Lisa reveals their I Do nearly ended with an I Don’t!

“The journey towards the wedding was pretty much a roller coaster.” reveals Lisa. “It just seemed so complicated, the scenario – you’ve got all these people with different opinions.”

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