Katie Maloney

Tom Schwartz prank

When Tom Schwartz made a steak dinner for Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval on the last episode of Vanderpump Rules, it just seemed like he was doing a sweet gesture to ask them to be groomsmen in his wedding, but it was actually a nasty prank.

After Tom asked the guys to take part in the wedding, he handed them both big envelopes full of photos that revealed that the steak and shrimp they ate had previously been in-between his butt cheeks. As if that wasn’t gross enough Tom also revealed that he ran that day and did not shower. Eeeeww.

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Tom and Jax

Vanderpump Rules is having some sort of quarter life crisis. While Stassi Schroeder is playing the adoring sycophant, Katie Maloney is attempting to reinvent herself as season 1 and 2 Stassi. It’s a piss-poor imitation though because Katie lacks the razor-sharp edge and sheer cunning wit required to pull off Stassi-ness, not to mention Katie lacks the conviction with which Stassi conducted herself as empress of the skirtsteaks. Also Katie doesn’t own a statement necklace which is like the scrunchie of SUR.

Katie is a mere “Fetch,” trying to force herself to happen as the leader of the SUR tribe, except she’s nothing but a sheep in wolf’s clothing. And she needs to give Stassi back her fur.

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bravo-pump-rules-tom-schwartz

If you’re easily grossed out, you might want to skip tonight’s episode of Vanderpump Rules! Or at least don’t have steak for dinner before watching it (you definitely won’t want steak for a while after watching it…).  Tonight Tom Schwartz dishes up some revenge to Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval and it’s gag-inducing, but brings him a whole lot of joy. We’ll leave it at that and not spoil it for you.

Also on tonight’s episode, Katie Maloney asks Stassi, Scheana, and Kristen Doute to be her bridesmaids. Katie excludes Ariana Madix from her list of chosen ones because she’s upset that Ariana is still talking to Lala Kent.  Katie later questions her decision to include Scheana when she’s seen being friendly to Lala.

Katie-Maloney-Tom-Schwartz-Instagram-Animals-Charity

We’ve seen Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney grow up a lot over the years on Vanderpump Rules. They went from background cast to the main players. They overcame a shit ton of drama and now they are mature married folks – or at least they are in this instance. Tom and Katie opened up about their life as newlyweds and they have lent their time and faces to support an animal charity.

Clearly they’re taking a cue from Lisa Vanderpump by helping out the animals and I am sure that she is proud of them. And as of now it doesn’t seem like Tom and Katie have any marital drama, then again they just got married. Hopefully this remains the case.

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pump-rules-brittany

Last night Lisa Vanderpump hosted World Dog Day and declared it a mandatory requirement for all Vanderpump Rules stars to own a dog. James Kennedy is exempt, however, because obviously Lisa cares about the welfare of her furry friends!

OK, just kidding – they didn’t have to own a dog, but it might as well have been a decree. Some of them <ahem… Stassi Schroeder…> were so eager to suck-up to Lisa via dog-loving they adopted two poor doggies, and dressed them up in bonnets fit for English Tea.

Before we dealt with dogs, however, we had to deal with pussy cats. And also bitches. All in a days work at SUR, right!? The bitch is Jax Taylor who has been spreading news of Kristen Doute petting Brittany Cartwright‘s kitty-cat all over SUR.

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Lisa Vanderpump - WWHL

Lisa Vanderpump believes true love can happen on Vanderpump Rules, although not without some serious trials and tribulations. This season Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney will put her theory to the test.

The scandal plagued couple finally becomes a symbiotic unit when they tie the knot, but Lisa reveals their I Do nearly ended with an I Don’t!

“The journey towards the wedding was pretty much a roller coaster.” reveals Lisa. “It just seemed so complicated, the scenario – you’ve got all these people with different opinions.”

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Jax, Kristen, and Brittany

Welcome back to Vanderpump Rules, where people miraculously age in reverse – but only in their personalities and maturity levels.

Despite our year-long hiatus, little has changed at SUR, the illustrious sur-vers and their counterparts. Kristen Doute and Stassi Schroeder are back in the full-time rotation, to reign supreme over the dysfunction, with Scheana Marie and Katie Maloney their tittering accomplices. Tom 2 is a mere accessory to their life of crime, the teeny dog shoved in a purse to nip and yap occasionally. And everybody still hates Lala Kent!

I don’t know guys – are we really in for another season of mean girls justifying their own behavior by calling the other person mean? It’s like Vanderpump Rules is just an audition for Real Housewives, a job Stassi presumably believes will be hers as soon as she convinces a Hollywood mogul, or rich business man to marry her. Maybe when Lala’s ‘boyfriend,’ the married guy with 35,022 kids who is passing out free Range Rovers on Halloween, ditches that wife of his Stassi can swoop right in?

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lisa-vanderpump

All hail the President of the Real Housewives, Lisa Vanderpump.  The Vanderpump Rules star was on Watch What Happens Live last night to accept her new position and to dish on her co-stars’ shenanigans. Lisa admitted that she has Brandi Glanville blocked on her phone, says that she thinks Brittany Cartwright is denying the Kristen Doute hookup for her parents’ sake and defends James Kennedy’s bad behavior a little bit.

What did Lisa think of Tom Sandoval‘s new highlighted hair? “I didn’t like it.” Andy then plays a Kristen montage and asks Lisa if Kristen will ever be able to convince people that she isn’t psycho? “I don’t know, I think we’ve got too much evidence that she is.” Will Kristen’s relationship go the distance? “It’s gone on a lot longer than we thought, right? But I mean we have a little hiccup this episode, isn’t that kind of relevant?”