It's that time again! Here's a quick rundown on all things Kardashian! We couldn't NOT write about them…what if they went away? How would I make a living? ;) I'm kidding, obviously, but they really aren't going anywhere, especially now that Kris Jenner has landed her own talk show. I'm actually really curious to see what it's like.
While promoting said talk show, Kris is going to milk the news of daughter Kim Kardashian's baby…since Kanye West wouldn't let her do it in the tabloids. I honestly think Kris is just trying to detract from the fact that Kim is likely going to give birth to the tiny rapper's child while still married to Kris Humphries. Can you blame her? It's quite a messy little situation, wouldn't you say?
I. Just. Can't. I can't wait for the day that Kim Kardashian is forced to give Kris Humphries his annulment based on fraud. It's going to be epic. Sadly, it doesn't appear that we're going to see that happen any time soon.
Many rumors have been swirling that Kim just offered Kris a massive sum of money to finally divorce her so that she andKanye Westcan ride off into the sunset with their unborn child. Unfortunately, it appears that these rumors aren't true, and the gossip is just part of the residual mess from the beginning of their demise.
Fear not, though. Kim can't be bothered with her impending divorce/possible annulment. She's too busy posting pictures of herself "helping orphans." Yes, you read that correctly. Keep in mind that she was helping said children while wearing the mortgage for a house on her wrist. Confused? Keep reading…you'll understand.
Kardashian gossip is getting hard to keep up with…that's for sure. Is Bruce Jenner fighting dirty when it comes to divorcing Kris Jenner? Would he potentially purposely hurt his step-children in the process by outing Khloe Kardashian's "real" father? (I still think that's a silly rumor though). There is so much to speculate when it comes to this family, and heck, I wouldn't put it past Kris to have planted all of these stories herself to keep her family's names in the media.
Of course, she's not the only one who is getting her name out there. Kanye West's ex Brooke Crittendon is speaking out about his relationship with Kim Kardashian. The AAAM (aspiring actress and model) dated the tiny rapper from 2004 to 2006, but now she's coming forward in an interview about Kimye is so perfect for one another. Let's start with that!
Drumming up a media blitz for her newest reality show Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, the newly knocked up Kim is running around to every media outlet that will take her (at Kris Jenner's behest? Do we think she blackmails them?) to talk pregnancy, Kanye West, and her inter-uterine issues. Oh the wonderful world of Kardashians!
Kimsat down with E! News where she gushed about Kanye calling him "the love of my life." Kim also shares that she's not going to let her "career" overshadow her motherhood duties and doesn't want her career to "overshadow the love in my life."
As for baby names, Kim and Kanye aren't sure yet about expanding the K dynasty. They "have to think about" whether or not they'd provide their child with a K moniker. "I have to discuss that with my boyfriend to see where we are. But we'll keep the name private, I think, whenever we decide." Until Kris J leaks it to a tabloid for an exclusive!
Oh Kim Kardashian…if I were a licensed psychiatrist, I might diagnose you as a classic one-upper. You've built an empire on which your entire family was riding the coattails until each of your siblings (inevitably) became famous in their own reality right. It's the snowball effect. And we're all dumber because of it.
Kim watched her sister Kourtney give birth to two precious children, and she counseled (cough, cough) sister Khloe who was suffering from infertility while trying to conceive with her husband. Of course, now Kim is pregnant with Kanye West's baby, but she can't stop one-upping her sisters. I'm gonnna let you talk Kourtney, but this baby is the best Kardashian baby of all time. Sorry Mason and Penelope. Y'all are officially old news. Don't even get me started on poor Khloe's efforts to have a child. Geez. I'll let Kim speak for me.
Y'all realize that, no matter what, the Kardashians aren't going anywhere any time soon. That said, don't shoot the messenger! Actually, today's Kardashian trash is at least humorous enough to provide some sort of entertainment.
Here's a quick breakdown: Kim Kardashian doesn't want to still be married to Kris Humphries when she gives birth (but there is quite a catch!), and Kim and Kanye West maintain that Kimye, Jr. will not be a part of E!'s fall line-up. Again, I'll believe that when I see it! Finally, the youngKendall Jennerdoesn't want to follow in her family's famewhoring footsteps. Sure.
Oh, Kim Kardashian, you saucy minx! Okay, so I don't find her at all saucy or minx-ish, but I've always wanted to say that. In today's Kimye news, there is some funny stuff. Not only is having Kanye West's baby while still married to Kris Humphries causing some problems (we all predicted that, right?), but it seems that no one wants to pay Kim to lose her baby weight. Tragic!
Unlike Jessica Simpson, Kim may not be scoring a weight loss deal to shed the massive amount of pounds she's sure to pack on during her pregnancy. I'm also hoping that, unlike Jessica's two year gestation, Kim's baby will pop out after nine months so we don't have to be on pregnancy watch for the next year and a half.
As if Kim Kardashian andKanye Westprocreating wasn't enough, now there is even more disturbing news. I don't even know how one correlates with the other, but perhaps if I type it quickly, it can get out of my head equally as fast. Or not. There are just some things you can't unread.
Here goes nothing! So, now that Kimye is having an aby-bay, ales-say for her ex-say ape-tay have gone through the roof. Seriously? Nothing says "congrats on the bun in your oven" like purchasing a video of the mom engaged in some nasty, nasty sexy times. Nothing people do surprises me anymore.