Aaahhh… the holidays. So much to be thankful for, so many blessings to count. I don't know about y'all but I'm thankful for reality TV. I mean, what's not to love? I get to appreciate drama without personally getting involved, it makes me feel better about my own life, and I get paid to complain about said drama starters – while drinking wine.
So thanks Andy Cohen, et al for giving me a reason to be thankful. Because without the embarrassing antics of our favorite reality stars I'd be forced to actually focus on my own life. Ew.
Below are our favorite reasons we're thankful for reality TV this Thanksgiving.
It's been said that in life only two things are certain–death and taxes. Well, dear readers, I'd like to think y'all would agree with me if I tweaked that saying just a bit. In the reality world, the only two things that are certain have to be Kris Jenner creating rumors about her family in order to stay relevant and Kim Kardashian talking when she should just smile, look plastic pretty, and wear heinous tiny rapper inspired outfits. Am I right or am I right? Of course death, taxes, and all that jazz come into play as well…although have we seen any Kardashian 1099s?
Where to start, where to start? Should I lead with Kim's unfortunate but likely well-intended Twitter posts or Kris speaking out about the gossip she planted about her marriage? It's quite the conundrum. Thank goodness I've got a glass of pinot noir and a Ducky Dynasty marathon to soothe my Kardashian-riddled nerves. Join me, won't you?
When I think of the Kardashian/Jenner klan, warm and fuzzy thoughts don't often come to mind. Sure, Khloe Kardashian Odom is slightly bearable, and those Jenner girls are pretty, but let's face it. With Kris Jenner as their momager, they're bound to be extremely entitled, over exposed, and annoying any day know…if they aren't already.
With all of this going on with the girls in this family, sometimes the guys get the short end of the stick (anyone remember poor Rob Kardashian when Oprah Winfrey came to interview the krew? At least he has his sock line.). It's sad really. Of course, no one is more disrespected, ignored, or made fun of more than dad Bruce Jenner. Poor guy is legendary Olympian, but at his home, he's the butt of all jokes.
I never thought I'd be Team Silex about anything, and I mean ANYTHING. However, when you have to choose between somewhat creepy Silex and uber-creepy Dourtney, what else can you do but side with former Real Housewives of New YorkstarsAlex McCord and Simon van Kempen? Of course, I'm talking about a feud that started out on VH1's Couples Therapy, so perhaps that is where I first went astray. I am addicted to this insanity, and I'm not proud of it.
Joining Silex in the therapy sessions, at least up until a week or so ago, was everyone's favorite May-December romantics 52-year-old "actor" Doug Hutchison and his 18-year-old wife Courtney Stodden. I don't have to tell y'all that she was sixteen when the pair married and seventeen when Couples Therapy filmed. Due to child labor laws, Courtney wasn't allowed to film as much as the grown-ups and couldn't stay in a bedroom with her hubby.
If you've been tuning into the train wreck (and I know you secretly have!), you know that Courtney's parade of bikini tops as shirts, Lucite stripper platforms, and belts that she tried to pass off as skirts had the other couples up in arms. Her wardrobe was deemed a major distraction, and Dr. Jenn imposed a strict dress code. Courtney was forced to wear things that covered her belly and didn't flash her bits. The passive aggressive Courtney adhered to this dress code for one day, although she clearly shopped for her conservative clothing at Hoochies 'R Us. From that point, things continued to go down hill for Dourtney. No amount of gum smacking, eye rolling, or hair twirling could save them!
Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
When it comes to Kardashians one can expect everything is a PR spin machine manufactured by Kris Jenner. In the latest rumor to erupt on the scene more reports are emerging that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are in major marriage trouble!
In Touch Weekly touts the couple is on the brink of divorce in their newest cover story, claiming Khloe is begging Lamar to go to "couples therapy – or else!" Khloe is apparently "heartbroken" that her marriage is in such trouble.
“He’s been so distant and stressed with basketball lately," an insider reveals. "She doesn’t know what else to do.” In a desperate bid to save their marriage Khloe is going to "make-or-break" efforts because “she’s reached her breaking point in a marriage that has been struggling for months.”
Happy Election Day, dear readers! Since everyone is in a voting state of mind we decided to have a little fun on this ever-so important day. Reality TV stars are always campaigning for favoritism (and sometimes buying their fans on twitter), so we got wondering, what stars could we – in our wildest dreams – see make it to the White House?
So cast your ballot for one of these fair candidates below. And remember this is all in fun so keep it funny, snarky, and apolitical!
3. Abby Lee Miller: She will frighten and intimidate foreign leaders into staying in line – or else!
4. Donald Trump: Our national embarrassment (that hair!) might as well take it all the way. Plus, he could hopefully pay for his own campaign.
5. Shaunie O'Neal: The HBIC of Basketball Wives knows how to dodge flying wine bottles, flinging insults, and a whole host of unruly people with a half-smile. I think she could whip congress into shape without so much as smudging her lipstick!
I honestly think that if the Kardashians had to stay out of the spotlight for even just a day, they would shrivel up or something. Don't they get exhausted chasing fame? As if I don't already know the answer to that! They are never, ever going to go away.
Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe are gracing the cover of this week's print edition of Us Weekly, setting the record straight on all of the relationship rumors planted by mom Kris Jenner to keep her girls relevant swirling around. The magazine touts an exclusive, but it's really just a bunch of sound bites and sources and quotes. It doesn't appear that the sisters were actually interviewed for the article. Shocking, I know!