Imagine…someone in Canada thinks Keeping up with the Kardashians is too crude. Are we watching the same show? Obviously, I'm being sarcastic, although I am not at all surprised by the dirty mouths on Khloe, Kourtney, and Kim, nor do their thong pulling, underwear sniffing, breast leaking antics shock me in the least. How sad is that?
It all started with a "knock knock" joke courtesy of Lord Scott Disick on Keeping up with the Kardashians that aired on October 23 in the middle of the afternoon. He and Kourtney spent part of the episode using donuts and carrots to simulate a certain sex act. Keepin' it klassy, those two! I guess I should give you the warning that there may some offensive jokes and/or language after the jump…you know, the warning that the Canadian version of E! forgot to issue before the episode in question!
It's your update on all things Kardashian–you're over the moon, I'm sure! I promise to bypass any news about Kimand the tiny rapper, and only focus on some of the more tolerable gossip…like Lamar Odom professing that Khloe Kardashian will always be his wife, no matter what! I may even have some sad rumors for you too. Could the eye candy that is Brody Jenner (brother Brandon's just as hot!) be peacing out on Keeping up with the Kardashians? Honestly, he didn't seem overly happy to spend time with Kris Jenner just to get to see father Bruce. And finally, because, hey, everybody's doing it!–KendallandKylie Jenner are dishing on their new young adult novel. Happy weekend, y'all!
Speaking to Us Weekly, Lamar reveals he isn't ready to give up on his marriage. He says, "I love my wife. She'll always be my wife, no matter what. Who knows? We don't know exactly if [the divorce is going through]. Only time will tell. I hope not. But even if we were divorced, she would always be my wife," sharing, "Those were some of the best years of my life. Being married and being married to a woman I decided to marry was, besides having children, the most important thing in my life."
Kim Kardashian and her sisters will slap their names on anything and everything, won't they? From make-up to accessories to their Sears Kardashian Kollection, Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney have built quite an empire above and beyond their often annoying and crude reality television personalities (guilty, I watch the reruns!), and not surprisingly, they are going to keep adding to it.
Now, the sisters are announcing the launch of a kids' kollection launching at Babies 'R Us that Kim hinted about not too long ago when a fan asked her if she'd ever put North West in clothes from Target (answer: when hell freezes over). I guess you need to keep making beaucoups of money if you, oh, I don't know, decide to hire a full-time tailor just for you! Oh Kim. She's so down to earth!
What's that you say? The sisters are designing baby clothes? Kim is bankrolling a personal seamstress? Which to discuss first…
Here's some news that's totally going to shock you…the Kardashians are pillars of the truth. Shocking, I know. I should have told you to sit down for that! Here's something else: it seems that Kris Jenner and her pals over at TMZ have had somewhat of a falling out recently. Why do I say this? The site, which once was all about some Kartrashian promotion and positive spin doesn't seem to be cow-towing to ol' Kris.
Oh, and guess what? The family isn't going away any time soon. Kim Kardashian has promised up and down that this will be the final season of Keeping up with the Kardashians. The show was renewed by E! for three seasons back in 2012 for over $40 million. However, it seems that they just don't know how to live their lives off the small screen because they have plans to return. Again. But this time without Bruce Jenner. Lucky us.
Hmmm…which to discuss first–the rumors of Bruce Jenner quietly becoming a woman or the idea that Kim Kardashian would dress baby North in clothing from Target? Decisions, decisions! Luckily for us, they are both equally hilarious notions!
After escaping splitting from Kris Jenner, Bruce has grown out his hair into a flowing mane, the likes of which would make a certain polygamist jealous. He's also been sporting longer fingernails and had his Adam's apple shaved to be less prominent. Those are all totally normal things for a man to do, right? It doesn't necessarily mean anything!
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have…a day in the life of Kim Kardashian? It takes a lot out of this poor gal to wear crop tops and change her hair color, but she's learned to take the good with the bad.
For example, Kim finally had a spot of good luck when her teenaged identity thief was brought to justice, but, on the flip side, it turns out that the rumor she was posing for the cover of Vogue was just that…a rumor. Add that together with the fact that she decide whether she has more fun as a blonde, and it's already quite a week for Miss Kimmie.