Last night was the second installment of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey reunion. I don’t want to go into the stupidness that is stupid Teresa Giudice and her stupid financial nonsense and stupid decisions that made her go to jail. I mean damn, read what you sign, ask questions if you don’t understand - hello!
The most laughable comment from the whole reunion was Teresa trying to convince us that she’s usually a very conscientious-y type of person who “always dots her ‘I’s and crosses her ‘T’s.” First of all, she knows two letters in the alphabet? Bet they were both used a lot in the PLEA AGREEMENT Teresa didn’t read, but signed. Second of all, if you were a routine “i” dotter or a “t” crosser you’d not get indicted for bankruptcy fraud or sign fake W-2s because you’d actually make sure the people you hire, like your accountant, are doing their jobs! And finally – I’m frankly surprised Teresa was able to use that expression correctly. I would fully expect her to say something like “I’m the type-a person who crosses eyes and dots my teacup, with you know, fabulicious teas – coming soon!”
Let’s just say this, Denial is the longest river in New Jersey. The river of denial flows right out of Melissa Gorga‘s $3.8 million Montville mansion (where they had the big ol’ plumbing disaster and the leaky pipes and the plastic sink) and it roars down the hill into the chicken coops of Teresa and Joe’s purloined marble encrusted converted trailer, built at the base of Mount Tackiola. Now for sale, delusion included in purchase price!
Last night the Real Houewives Of New Jersey reunion and these girls came prepared to bring their solid gold-plated fambly drama. Really – is there any person on RHONJ that doesn’t have some seriously intense and Lifetime Movie family issues that should not be meta-solved on reality TV? It’s looking like Amber Marchese is the only one, but then again, she has The Jim so maybe not!
But last night all the drama centered around the two famblies that put the thieves in Thick As Theives but certainly not the thick (Lapband as thieves doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?!): the Manzos and the Gorgadices.
Teresa Giudice is headed to prison and she’s still living in a delusional world cause she is a delusional girl. She and Melissa Gorga have a little tension-y about whether or Melissa texes Teresa or called her after she got her sentence. Glad in this terrible time Teresa can still focus on the important things like pettiness! And Dina Manzo, bless her heart, she’ll defend Tre to the bitter end because like duh – murderers aren’t going to prison but “good girls” like Teresa are. Do good girls steal from banks? Does Dina have a different dicktionary than I do? “Good: a person who is like nice-ish and only occasionally like breakes the lawr but who makes really good spaghettis from ingredientzes that are zenny and who defenses me against my horrible sister-in-law.” Dina is a caring friend, but good friends don’t let friends be totally f–king delusional!
Tonight the Real Housewives Of New Jersey season 6 reunion kicks off. Teresa Giudice is wearing her finest solid gold Christmas pageant couture to harken back to happier times of reunions when she was just feuding with friends and family instead of heading off to prison! At least Teresa is going out with a bang in designer Christmas Pageant couture, that is!
Tonight Dina Manzo will open up about her family drama and Teresa will storm off set in a huff. Which is all fun and everything, but I just want to know who is wearing what and if it came from Posche.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week. Enjoy!
Our favorite reality TV stars shared pictures of their adorable kids dressed up for Halloween. There are princesses, kitty cats, a vanilla frappuccino, heroes, skunks, the cutest prisoner ever, and more. Teen Mom 2‘s Kail Lowry shared the picture above of Lincoln. “Where’s Waldo?”
On Secrets Revealed Part 1 Bravo unveiled all the Real Housewives Of New Jersey drama we missed. The ladies packed up all the tampons at ShopRite and traveled to Atlantic City via party bus. We – and they – can thank the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad twins for this trip!
And a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad trip it was! In synopsis: everyone had their period, Amber Marchese wants to be a Russian hooker named Alana when she grows up, Twinsanity, and Dina Manzo files Atlantic City under “White Trash” in the zen-dictionary.
Of course, more happened: first of all Teresa Giudice packed like her life depended on it – did she know this was the last time, for a long time, she’d be strutting her sequins out on vacation? A party bus, hired by a twin, picked-up Melissa Gorga, then Teresa. Melissa spotting Teresa standing in front of a mountain of luggage, in front of her gelatinous mountain of tackstronomy house, observed, “You need to learn to scale back girlfriend.” Truer words, Melis! They tawk periods and pick-up Dina who is DUH – like on her period!
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week! Enjoy!
“We made it Housewife friends!” cheered Amber. “As it was my rookie season, I felt like I was being hazed in a sorority, but as hard as it was, I made it!”
“I learned so much about how strong I am as a person and some areas that I can work on. I learned that I really do have a ‘no surrender, never retreat’ mentality. I will go to bat with anyone, at any time, and will defend myself and my family at all cost. I also witnessed the undying love that my husband has for me and his family. He was not going to let anyone hurt me and will unleash hell if someone tries. He is truly my modern day Spartan warrior.”