The Worst Moments of Gaslighting on Real Housewives

Erin Lichy
Photo by Craig Barritt/Getty Images for Bilt Rewards

No one, not even Real Housewives, enjoys being forced to question their judgment and intuition. Thanks to being the trigger word of the past year, followers know that gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation. The alleged abuser, often a delusional housewife from Bravo, will try their best to push self-doubt and confusion onto one of their victims. In most instances, the gaslighter is looking to gain some power. But there have been moments that have raised more questions than answers while fans have been glued to the franchises. 

Ralph Pittman 

Drew Sidora/Instagram

During the last season of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, Ralph Pittman’s behavior was extremely alarming. Especially after he tried his best to gaslight his wife, Drew Sidora, while she asked him about his assistant. At the time, Drew had found suspicious messages on Ralph’s phone, which transported her back to the time when Ralph ran off to Florida without telling her. The assistant brazenly offered Ralph a back massage, which naturally did not sit well with the mother of three. 

Ralph claimed that the massage was for his back pain, but the explanation wasn’t convincing fans. Drew noted Ralph was acting extremely manipulative. Ralph tried to plan a fancy dinner to show that “no woman can ever come close to her,” but sadly, he freaked out the minute she tried to dive deeper into their marital problems. Thankfully, Drew woke up and has since left her husband. Honestly, Ralph was exhausting. 

Melissa Gorga


The Gorga/Giudice feud has been going on for what feels like eons. Yet, Season 13 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion showed Teresa Giudice using a couple of five-dollar words, including the gaslighting term. Melissa Gorga had shown up in a blue fighter dress complete with a boxing hood, so she knew there was a fight. This particular argument started over Joe Gorga, noting that his sister was the best directly after exiting prison because she was humble. But Teresa took offense to the Gorgas, claiming they invited her over all the time. 

After yelling at her brother and sister-in-law, she quickly called Melissa a “gaslighting bit*h.” According to Teresa, she had been dragged through the mud for the last ten years, with the Gorgas finally having had enough of the fighting. At the time, it looked like Melissa and Joe were trying to confuse Tre as they told her she “ruined herself.” 

Erin Lichy

Erin Lichy/Instagram

The first season of the Real Housewives of New York reboot was everything. With the introduction of new women, there was bound to be some arguing, but who knew taking Ubah Hassan‘s phone would cause such issues – surely not Erin Lichy? During Season 14, the duo went head to head over a prank gone terribly wrong. Erin decided to hide Ubah’s phone as payback after being pushed into the pool at the start of the girl’s trip. Ubah was not pleased to learn her phone had been hidden on purpose, especially when she had worried family to contact.

Ubah escalated the situation by snatching Erin’s glasses and refusing to return them. The one true New Yorker broke down, causing an uncomfortable confrontation between the two, with Ubah telling Variety, “She lied about a bunch of things you will find out at the reunion. She was gaslighting things the whole day. She’s a sh*t stirrer, everybody knows it. I know it, a 2-year-old knows it, the viewer knows it.”

Kyle Richards

Kyle Richards/Instagram

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is a prime example of women who love to gaslight one another. Kyle Richards has been dolling out the drama for years, but rarely would she take accountability for her actions. Season 12 showed Kyle trying to push the others to own up to their issues but her own behavior was troubling. Nothing stuck out more to viewers than when Kyle and the rest of the Fox Force Five – Lisa Rinna, Erika Jayne, and Dorit Kemsley all engaged in gaslighting spats with Garcelle Beauvais, Sutton Stracke, and Crystal Kung Minkoff. But perhaps the worst was Kyle. 

Not only did Kyle excuse her behavior after becoming physical with Sutton, but she also accused Sutton of faking her two miscarriages as she kept tugging on her arm while defending Diana Jenkins. Instead of apologizing, Kyle just blamed the alcohol. During the same season, Kyle also invalidated Crystal’s feelings, calling her a “dramatic Millenial.” Kyle’s attempt to distort everyone’s feelings was a classic sign of gaslighting.