Things naturally begin at a sex swing lesson. Kenya (rocking some leggings so tight I swear they had to be surgically removed and coochie crack was as well as booty crack imminent) has all her faux assets on display as she swings upside down. 'Weeeeeee! I'm gone with the wind fabulous!' she's cheering to herself when Kandi Burruss walks in.
Speaking for the masses, Kandi announces she is over Gone With The Wind Fabulous: "The wind is gone. It's blown away." Amen. Kandi demures participating in sex swinging because she sprained her ankle falling off some heels. The real reason for this meet up is investigative journalism. Kandi wants to know the true nature of Kenya and Apollo's texting. Or was it sexting…
Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta things continued to be down for our ladies as they dealt with family and marriage problems, divorce, eviction(!), surgery, and unemployment.
Things begin with Kandi Burruss talking to production partner Don Juan. Kandi has a brand new office and tells us she writes her best songs when going through complicated situations. And complicated is about to get more complicated as Don Juan has obviously been talking to Mama Joyce about Todd! `
Don is worried Kandi will let love get in the way of her seeing dollar signs and that her business will suffer. Ok – Poor Kandi! Seriously why is everyone all over this girl's bank account? Back off her, gold diggers! She needs to write a new version of No Scrubs!
Kandi discusses the situation with daughter Riley who reminds her mom that her marriage will have to come before her relationship with Joyce, who is either going to have to accept Todd or not! Watch Kandi write the best songs of her career and not give anyone a dime! #Scrubless
In the latest round of twirly-telling from everyone's favorite "beauty queen on bathsalts" Kenya explains her version of the eviction nonsense (re: it's not her fault) and complains about NeNe Leakesand Phaedra Parks! Welcome back Real Housewives of Atlanta!
Breaking her blog into chapters, Krayonce covers all the ground with serious shade.
NeNe Leakes has seen the light when it comes to Kenya Moore and under the harsh spotlights of the pageant stage Kenya isn't looking so shiny and new. It was a short-lived frienemy-ship, to say the least.
Upon learning the true details of Krayonce's behavior towards Apollo Nida and Phaedra Parks NeNe admits she is shocked. Nevertheless she tried to help Kenya reacquaint herself with the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta – and it was a failed experiment! NeNe says she also tried to give Kenya the benefit of the doubt concerning her eviction and the whole wedding RSVP/Why was Walter? invited thing.
"I sat down with Miss Delusional, whom I see right through, and the first thing I told her was that 'I'm dating you! We are still getting to know each other, but because I know how to be a good friend and this is my city, I will take you to find a place to live!' Now you know what I am thinking. What business woman that's claiming to be everything is homeless? But whatever, NeNe, just do your part," NeNe begins in her Bravo blog.
There is crazy and then there is Real Housewives of Atlanta'sKenya Moore. She may be Gone with the Wind fabulous, but I think that wind may have also blown away some of her sanity with it! However, it only makes her all the more entertaining when addressing last week's episode in regards to NeNe Leakes and Porsha Stewart.
She begins her Bravo blogin a way that only Krayoncecould, and it's amazing–her delusions, her life, and her take on last week's premiere, apparently! Kenya starts, "Did you miss me? That’s a rhetorical question of course. Of course you did! LOL! Have you missed my twirls, my curls, and my Gone with the Wind fabulousness? I’ve had the time of my life over the past year. My life has changed in such a positive way, it’s been a dream. My love life has drastically changed and I am so close to having everything in life I’ve always wanted."
Things begin with Miss WHO-S-A pageant waving as she leaves the courthouse after her eviction hearing. There's like 4 bored looking photographers standing around checking their watches as Kenya breezes out clutching her chest gasping, 'For meeeee?! Lil' ol' meeee?! Oh being famous… it's such a responsibility.' One of the photographers looks around and asks, 'I thought NeNe Leakes was gonna be here?' Jussst kidding, but you know Kenya called those paps herself and now she's trying to pretend she's A-list. Girl, that ship done sailed! She claims she won her eviction case.
Later she goes for drinks with NeNe to discuss their argument atCynthia Bailey's launch. Krayonce turns on those pageant tears to sniffle about how she has been displaced from her home and no one reached out like she's some sort of suburban refugee. NeNe shoots her a girl please look and reminds her that she's supposed to be a multi-millionaire producer, director, booty boosting guru, man-eating queen, so how can she be homeless? Kenya is like yeah, all that's true but I still need friends and none of you were there for me.
Kenya Moore is a special kind of reality star who will stop at nothing to twirl all over the situation and make it all about her. NOT! What I mean is just like most reality stars Kenya is attempting to carve out a storyline and some relevance. Gotta extend that 15 minutes, right?!
The new season of Real Housewives of Atlanta is bound to be dramaful, and it opened with a bang when egomaniacal delusionistasKenya and NeNe Leakes got into it. NeNe has been gloating all up and down twitter that she remained composed and kept her cool when Kenya grabbed her ear. And in rebuttal Kenya wants everyone to know she is "not afraid of the big bad wolf"!
“It’s like, look, if we’re going to be friends we have to deal with each other on an honest level,” Kenya explained to The Wrap. “This is what bothers me. I’m going to be vocal about it. My desire is that we move past it and we don’t have to deal with that issue again."