"The good news for me is that I wasn't there. So NO, I didn't wait 1 1/2 hours for the ceremony. NO, I didn't wait 2 hours to start eating. NO, I didn't have to change clothes twice in the super hot summer of Miami while the bride was trying to get ready," Joannawrites in her Bravo blog.
Season five of Real Housewives of New Jersey has come to an end. Andy's like, Thank you, Jesus! Part two of the reunion attracted 2.099 million viewers which means just under 400,000 jumped ship since last week. My guess? They were among the 16 MILLION who were preparing for the Walking Dead.
The Kardashians, who are less dead but pumped full of preservatives just the same, remained steady despite the competition. 2.182 million loyal fans tuned in to Keeping Up with the Kardashians instead of the zombies.
The formal affair featured a reception that started two hours late, after they were forced to change clothes in a parking lot. All class there. Anyway, the Real Housewives of Miami star insists that's not what really happened, claiming Bravo edited her affair to look way worse than it was. #yeahright
Plus Adriana said she was just really tired and that's what took so long. Starting with her bravo blog she's all about excuses. "All of those emotions added to the stress of planning a wedding, and I was literally crumbling down as my wedding day approached," Adriana laments. "My physical limit was pushed and I was very drained and feeling weak; just one hour before the wedding I felt like fainting and believed I wasn't going to make it, because I had no more strength to carry on physically."
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami we were witness to the slooooowest wedding ever. I mean it took over five years and then some hours to finally get that thing officially off the ground, right?!
Adriana de Moura was hours upon hours late to her own affair because she confused wedding with fashion show and was holed up in a suite getting dressed. Meanwhile downstairs the guests were sweating to death before passing out from hunger and finally giving up and leaving. Hopefully they all swung by McDonald's on their way out.
Twenty-four hours before the big day, the drama begins. Adriana is having a stress attack and is so sick she's talking about skipping the whole thing to sleep. She pretty much did skip the whole thing but that's cause she was grooming. Speaking of grooming, despite just getting an IV of vitamins she needsFrederic Marq to give her a B-12 shot in the butt for more vitamins. Is it possible to be addicted to them?
Another day, another Bravo housewife shoving a product in our faces. I don't even bat an eyelash at them anymore. Seriously, who does?
This time around it's former Real Housewives of Miami star Karent Sierra who is now promoting Colgate. You know, I have to give her credit…it's a perfect fit with her career as a dentist. It's not like she's just putting her name on a gussied up Zima or penning a cookbook about microwave dinners.
Not surprisingly, Bravo's favorite potty-mouthed Polish beauty has her take on what happened, and she's never one to hold back. Joanna remains vehemently loyal to Lea and is quick to belittle her fiance's feelings in one breath and then praise him with the next. She's exhausting, no?
"I have reached out to Elsa many times with cards, calls, and flowers that can be verified by florists, and I sent an email to her daughter, who never replied back," Lea maintains.
"The amount of camouflaged and blatant hatred, venom, lies, bitterness, and phoniness that spews out at me each week says more about anyone than I could ever say," Lea adds. "It’s unfortunate you can't go to a party of 'friends' without being a target." Um… welcome to the Real Housewives franchise!
The reality TV viewer numbers for Sunday and Monday are in – and it's good news all around. Nearly all the shows saw an increase in viewership this week.
On Sunday, the season finale of Hollywood Exes garnered 723,000 viewers, which was up from last week's 581,000. Season two started strong, premiering to 1.7 million, but quickly declined. The season average was 826,583 viewers.