We begin this week’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians with Scott Disick accidentally walking in on Kris Jenner in her closet while she is getting dressed. She spazzes and screams at him to get out of her space! Scott immediately runs downstairs to tell Kourtney Kardashian and Kim Kardashian that he did not intentionally try to creep on their mom and Kris whirls into the kitchen freaking out about wanting to have some private space as she flashes everyone her S&M bra under her robe. First of all ew, but also somewhat impressed as she looks good for a woman her age trying to pretend she’s 30.
Later on, Kourtney is in the kitchen with Khloe Kardashian and Khloe mentions that she thinks Scott is up to a shady business deal as all these multiple exotic cars are popping up in the driveway and there are about 10 different license plates strewn upon the counter. Like what is he up to? He could very well have a legitimate biz going on and while I don’t blame him for attempting to expand his skills of profiting outside the realms of reality TV, I highly doubt he’s doing anything resembling a la Guidice to make a buck. We’ll see what he’s up to later on.
Kim’s in San Francisco meeting with the Glu team that was behind her video game to enhance her brand even more. She wants to include a Hollywood app and involve her family to increase her fan base. I’ve gotta hand it to Kim to strike while the iron is hot and literally plaster her image on all products that could possibly have her face on it. It’s quite remarkable when you think about it. She takes the time to thank essentially the entire team at Glu that is behind the success of her game and apps which was a decent move on her part.
The Douche Lord has spoken, and He sayeth the way to sobriety is through eating herbs. Yes, herbs. Sort of. Scott Disick is checking into Rythmia Life Advancement Center in Costa Rica today for another stint in rehab. Not just any old rehab, but a rehab that promises sober living by asking its patients to ingest the African psychedelic shrub Iboga “to send patients on a vision quest,” according to TMZ.
TMZ reports that ScottDisick had one hot mess of a weekend in Atlantic City, where he did…you know…what Scott does best: multiple tequila shots, a bit of stumbling around without shoes in public, and eventually going missing from his room at 5am. In a press release Scott said, “I realize my issues are bigger than me and I’m ready to truly remedy this struggle I continue to battle.”
Welcome Back Kardashians! Surprise, surprise the premiere episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians opens with Kim Kardashiandoing a nude photo shoot. Kim and Kanye West are trying to have another baby which means they are apparently having sex every opportunity they can get. It’s kinda gross because Kim tells everyone about 8 seconds after they have sex that they just had sex. Her make-up artist commented about the glow she had on her face post-bathroom romp at the shoot and it’s just eeww. Khloe was standing in the corner (Still playing with her hair a gazillion times a day) while Kim was getting primped and air puking at the same time. Kim detailed the path of Kanye’s sperm making their way to her egg as her eyelash glue was drying.
Kourtney decides to visit Bruce Jenner at his bachelor pad in Malibu and check-up on him. Side note: It appears Bruce has had more plastic surgery because he does look a little different in the lips/cheek area. He seems lonely and misses his life with Kris. The Jenners have parted from the Kardashians and now it’s a house divided post-divorce.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their lives with us. And we would not have it any other way. Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite snapshots and selfies from this week. Enjoy.
Above: Don’t Be Tardy star Kim Zolciak shared, “You guys finally talked me into trying a waist trainer! I can’t believe how tiny it makes my waist. I’m obsessed with @nowaistclique waist trainer. It doesn’t show through clothes!”
All hail Lord Douche-ick Disick! It’s hard being royalty, especially when the United States’ version of royalty is over-paid, under-educated, over-exposed reality personalities who are famous because someone who is related to someone they once or thrice procreated with was tee-tee’d on (I’m old and Southern, sue me for not being cruder..in this instance at least!) for a multi-gajillion dollar sex tape. Such are the conundrums of Scott Disick.
Sure, the reality star is NOW famous (for lack of a better word) in his own right. He’s got three kids with family kash kow Kim Kardashian’s sister Kourtney, and the pair have a slew of spin-offs under their over-priced (but kind of classless) belts. But let’s be honest, Scott’s infamy is a product of his entitled behavior and penchant for booze and pills (allegedly). Plus, he’s a Lord, y’all, and he does what Lords do, like shattering mirrors in drunken rages, hating on his girlfriend’s family (warranted, so he’ll get a pass), and shoving dollar bills into the mouths of waiters who fail to cater to his every gross whim. Klassy!
This week in new reality star sightings, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are seen all over London together, but didn’t drag Nori around for this trip. We even have Kanye jumping up on a table at a fast food restaurant so he could give the fans what they want – Kanye at the center of attention.
It’s a topsy-turvy world in Kardashian Kingdom! Kris Jenner is losing her executive kontrol over the family $100 bill Kim Kardashian, and Scott Disick is reconsidering his priorities and deciding that all the Bentleys, Rolls, and Maseratis in the world aren’t more important than his kids!