Cameran Eubanks hasn’t heard this theory before, and she warns Craig that he may want to retract his statement. Whitney is gobsmacked (who doesn’t love that word?), reminding Craig that he slept with Kathryn long before T-Rav. Shepard “Shep” Rose giggles “sloppy seconds” before Craig prattles off that Kathryn stayed with Whitney for five days, not to mention, Whitney escorted her to the party where she left with Thomas. Whitney can’t get his chin off the floor. “Are you kidding me? You’re believing Kathryn over me?” Cameran is mortified that her new bestie is being raked over the coals by a hapless Hashtag. Craig is so concerned with channeling his inner Harriet the Spy, he doesn’t notice how awkward things have become for the rest of the crew. Cameran recalls the time Craig called out Kathryn to her face about sleeping with three guys in their circle. Sure, Craig did that, but the past is the past…he is friends with Kathryn now.
Holy first season unseen footage, Batman! After last night’s episode of Southern Charm, I’m sure some residents of the Holy City are thinking, “Holy crap!” Whitney Sudler-Smith is either brilliantly weaving some amazing drama or doesn’t have the final say when it comes to what makes it on (or stays off) the show. Either way, yowsers! After the great bourbon debacle of this decade, Craig Conover has changed direction. His new mission isn’t Gentry, it’s getting to the bottom of Whitney’s intense distaste for Kathryn Dennis. What better backdrop for the ensuing bombshell than Shepard “Shep” Rose’s Blue Ridge Mountain home? Throw in some Thomas Ravenel drunk dancing (to quote a friend, “Seems like a dream…it can’t be real!”), and we’ve got ourselves a stellar installment!
As the Charmers rise and shine in the Lowcountry, Cameran Eubanks is channeling her inner domestic goddess with a crock pot meal while Craig and Shep opt for beers and bar food a fruit plate at Fuel. Craig admits he had a rough night with Naomie after falling from whiskey’s grace. Shep invites Craig to join the crew in Linville and ticks off the guest list. He’s decided not to include Kathryn (even though he’s Mr. Inclusive) after lunching with Whitney and Cameran–they won’t come if she attends. Craig informs Shep that Kathryn is on bed rest, so she won’t be able to come regardless…so an invitation can’t hurt and will only make her feel good. Shep dials up Kathryn who is excited to be invited even though she has to decline. Shep sends up a thank you to the bed rest gods for saving the day. In I’On, Thomas stops in to see Kathryn’s place, and she shares her conversation with Shep. T-Rav responds that he was planning on going, but maybe he won’t since she can’t. Or maybe he’ll just go for one night, nothing major…he’ll play it by ear. He feels the need to be vague when it comes to the details of Shep’s excursion because T-Rav is worried Kathryn will turn into T-Rex if he seems too excited about the trip.
I love my Southern Charm like I love my bourbon: a hearty serving at least once a week and cosigned by Craig Conover. Neat, of course. After last week’s roller-(d)rama at the rink, the sixth episode of the season had the cast sipping, JD quipping, and Craig dipping…his head in shame after claiming to run his friend’s whiskey brand. Oops! It wasn’t a purposeful lie, but rather wishful thinking, right?
Rachel McAdams is busy filming amazing movies, and Lindsay Lohan is busy doing whatever it is that Lindsay does, so it’s safe to say that when Tina Fey placed the call for a Mean Girls reunion, the cast of Southern Charm obliged. Let’s skip over the the fact that the crew started last night’s episode the morning after Patricia Altschul‘s flamingo party (I won’t mention that Whitney Sudler-Smith was eating a hot dog for breakfast, but I will note that Michael the butler is having to tidy up after the ruckus).
Craig Conover‘s residence with girlfriend Naomie at her parents’ gorgeous marsh front home in West Ashley has been sold, so the pair is moving to her fixer-upper (read: amazing house) in Mount Pleasant. Craig is fine with this turn of events, as he’d rather live on the streets with Naomie as opposed to in a castle without her. That’s romance, dear readers. Naomie wants the details on Pat’s party, and Craig sheepishly admits that he may have created some of the drama surrounding Thomas Ravenel and Jennifer Snowden‘s showdown, as well as Whitney’s disdain for Kathryn. He provides a lengthy explanation about Kathryn being a trophy that he no longer wanted after Shep tapped that, but he is positive that Whitney is still brewing with jealously.
T-Rav heads to JD’s to vent about what happened in Aiken. He reveals that when he threatened not to co-sign Kathryn’s lease, she became so distraught that she had to be hospitalized. Thomas worries about the risks of his son being born prematurely, and he’s ready to write his name on the bottom line. JD warns that his friend doesn’t need to fall prey to any manipulation on Kathryn’s part. T-Rav definitely believes he’s being manipulated, but he blames Jennifer for pulling the puppet strings. Ever since she wanted more from him after their drunken fling (Thomas’ words, not mine), she’s been instigating and doing her best to upset Kathryn by tracking his every move on social media and sharing it with Kathryn. Of course, if it’s on social media, can’t Kathryn find out about T-Rav’s shenanigans herself? The pair both seem rather adept at Twitter rants and Instagram shade.
I no longer dread Mondays thanks to the dear cast members of Southern Charm. Whether they are unpacking wedding gifts in the eleventh hour to host a dinner party or channeling their inner Knight Rider to escape a polo match, there is something mesmerizing about this crew. That said, while I love the light-hearted friendships and silly situations, the darkness that is starting to overshadow the show is sad. These are real people. Y’all know that…you follow them on social media! Let’s get started with last night’s recap, shall we?
As the charmers prepare for another day in the Holy City, Craig Conover is channeling his inner Ryan Serhant with his monochromatic shirt and tie combo. He’s hoping to beat JD into the office because HashtagNewCraig is a go-getter. Across town, Shepard “Shep” Rose is facetiming with his mom and relishing in being a home owner. Not only is he glad to not be bunking at Sullivan’s with Whitney Sudler-Smith, the ladies dig his home ownership. It makes Shep look like he’s got his shiz together…and that’s going to be important if he expects the city’s Board of Architectural Review to green light an above-ground pool and bar on his roof.
As with every episode, the show begins with each charmer starting a new day in the Holy City. Negotiating a real estate contract reminds Cameran just how much she loves being a modern Southern woman. Her place doesn’t have to be in the kitchen (or in the nursery) – she can have a career! She just needs husband Jason to pick up an ink cartridge for the printer on his way home so she can commence with commerce. Scarlett O’Hara was also a modern Southern woman, but even she knew when to call in reinforcements. Cameran reveals that after two years of marriage, Jason is ready for a baby. Unfortunately, Cameran’s biological clock has yet to start ticking, but she’s building up to some mild domestication with a practice round–she’s planning a dinner party for her friends.
Finally! Dear readers, our patience has paid off and last night we were rewarded with the start of the new season of Southern Charm. It was as if Christmas, my Pearl Harbor birthday, and my day job holiday bonus all came at the same time, except it’s not December, it’s April–and spring has sprung in a major way! It’s all there: Cameran Eubank’s hilarious one-liners, Shepard “Shep” Rose’s charming frat-tastic world views, Thomas Ravenel’s black-eye, Kathryn Dennis’ eyerolls (complete with false lashes and snark), Cooper Ray’s attempts at peace-keeping, Landon Clements’ transition from background sidekick to major player, Craig Conover’s return to the Holy City, Patricia Altshul’s gorgeous caftans (son Whitney Sudler-Smith was there, too). It was all perfect. Did I mention I got to watch it all at a wonderful premiere party at JD’s Sermets hosted by Cordially Cooper? Pinch me.
So that dinner party, right? Bravo has perfected the art of the hook with a minute-long tease of the finale. Move over, Camille Grammer, your Dinner Party from Hell has been replaced…tenfold. As we view the entire cast imploding over a meal at T-Rav’s downtown compound (did Thomas just remove Cameran from the premises? Are Shep and T-Rav going to come to blows?), we’re hit with the news that the start of the third season of Southern Charm is going to rewind three months to regale us with the build-up to the epic moment. Damn you, Bravo.