Did you have a happy Thanksgiving? Welcome back for our Southern Charm Season 9, Episode 11 recap! I don’t know about you, but I am very excited to see the gang head to Jamaica this episode, especially when we are here freezing our toes off! Fun, sun, and tan buns mean a wild time is definitely about to go down. Episode 11 starts with Rod debating about going on the trip at all since he isn’t too keen on watching Olivia prance around in a bikini in front of Austen. Evidently, he fears that he will look thirsty. Thankfully, bro of bros, JT puts his friend’s mind at ease as he hypes Rod up, joking they are “J Rod” and he needs his wingman. Just leave the bad accent at home, JT, okay? Here’s everything that went down in Southern Charm Season 9, Episode 11: “Jamaican Me Crazy.”
No means no, Taylor
After a fun-filled night hosted by Whitney with the royal family theme, Shep is regaling JT with how he successfully warded off Taylor’s advances. Our hero. It turns out the kissing bandit tried to strike again in the form of barrage texting. The texts are not from the angel we know as Taylor crudely asks, “I’m asking if you’re good or not.” To which Shep replies, “I’m good, I guess.” Taylor then bluntly types, “Haha, I’m asking dick-wise.” Thankfully, Shep had some wherewithal to reply, “I think I’m good.”
Taylor did not like this and ended the conversation by writing, “K. Will stay at Austen’s. You’re lame as f*ck.” JT seems shocked that his crush is acting out, telling Shep, “Maybe it’s three strikes your out.” Naturally, Shep noted he has moved on. But somehow, Shep cheating on Taylor wasn’t enough, and Taylor still wants some form of closure. JT says it best, “It’s hard to watch.” Honestly, Taylor is giving everyone the ick. Not to sound like Madison, but the little Jesus girl isn’t as good as we all thought.
Taylor isn’t sorry for booty texts
Taylor is still hung up on the shared kiss in the mountains with Shep. Honestly, I don’t think anyone would be coming down so hard on Taylor backsliding to her ex-boyfriend if she wasn’t such a Bible beater and screwing over her so-called best friend, Olivia. For Taylor, Shep is easy and comfortable, and Taylor is unapologetic about her choice of bedmate, noting, “I’m not sorry about it. Calling somebody I was so in love with is not a mistake in my book.” Taylor is being petty with a capital P, which isn’t a good look for her. Leva tries to keep her facial expressions to a minimum, but she finds it hard to recognize her friend as she reveals her diabolical plans.
Surprisingly, Leva shared in her confessional that it would be nice to see Taylor and Shep untethered, but she knows that is unrealistic. The mother of one makes a point of sharing, “I’m not saying she is a bad person; I just think she is having a bad breakup.” As the Unsolved Mysteries music plays in the background, Leva notes that the guys have rebounds all the time, “but basically, as women, we are seeing a different standard.” Clearly, Shep isn’t bringing the best out in Taylor.
Rum can’t solve all the Charmer’s problems
Craig planned an entire meet Paige trip to Jamaica only to find out that after inviting the entire crew, Paige’s schedule didn’t allow her to jet off. Awkward. After a stop at the shot hut with Austen showing off his tongue skills on a helpless plastic straw, the trip proves to be full of mixed signals with Rod is coming in hot thanks to the “horny goat” dish. The flirting between Austen and Olivia is total cringe. The Trop Hop owner has lost so much creditability and he knows that trying to stay in the friend zone is a guard lowering tactic he has used many times- He knows exactly what he is doing.
Every time I wonder if Madison should still be on Southern Charm there she goes proving me wrong. The blonde points out that Austen’s niche is leading women on but in a rum drunk confession Austen shares he knows his heart still beats for Olivia. Ew, ew, ew. Austen is confusing, manipulative, and a two faced bachelor. I NEED Olivia to run far and quickly for the hills.
Southern Charm Season 9 airs Thursday at 9/8c on Bravo.
TELL US: WHAT DID YOU THINK OF SOUTHERN CHARM SEASON 9, EPISODE 11? ARE YOU SURPRISED BY AUSTEN AND OLIVIA’S FLIRTING?