Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County all swore they weren't menopausal. In an effort to prove this they all reverted to acting like 10th graders who had ditched their chaperone on the high school field trip! Woo Hoo! Let's be bitches.
Vicki Gunvalson and Shannon Beador have connected over their mutual crazy and empty love tanks. Shannon knows just how to temporarily fill hers and she's letting Vicki in on her little secret: Dr. Moon! They pay a visit to his office where Vicki gets acupuncture and demands to check her email because "work! work! work!" and relax-schmelax! She asks Dr. Moon when he's gonna fill up her love tank and he stuck his finger up her butt. I kid you not! Shannon said Dr. Moon "de-jammed it". I think I'd rather have an empty love tank…
Shannon and new bestie Vicki go get their nails done with Tamra Barney. "You need good nails," Vicki instructs. But apparently you don't need good plastic surgery or frizz free hair. Or good boyfriends. Tamra is still harping about this ugly sweater Christmas party and it was like so horrible having to wear a funky polyester themed sweater. My, my has she become snobby! Who does Tamra think she is – Heather Dubrow? Speaking of which, Tamra and Vicki complain about Heather's pretensions and arrogance. Shannon - so happy to have friends and so happy to feel loved and included (finally someone likes her besides vodka!) – decides she too has a problem with how condescending Heather is. I mean there was that one time Heather snickered about Shannon putting diamonds in her teeth.
Well, it's about damn time! I was starting to wonder if we'd ever meet the elusive Lizzie Rovsek, but finally she made an appearance on Monday's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. I wasn't expecting much, but I loved the way she held her own with the other women. Lizzie even impressed the walking thesaurus and the fitness maven in one fell swoop! She commemorates her inaugural episode in her first ever Bravo blog.
Of her grand, yet clumsy, entrance (a girl after my own heart!) begins, "'Here I am!!!' I definitely wanted to make an impression on my first episode, but falling to the ground at my first party was not my intention. I can blame that on the new pair of platform heels I had on, nerves, or maybe it was that little step down out the patio door at Danielle's house…Ahhhhh, but in any case I hope it shows all of you how real I am. We all fall down now and then, no biggie, shake it off and move on. I was worried how I might appear on the show, but as a whole, you just met Lizzie–and it's pretty close to form. I'm a friendly, happy, outgoing person, self-deprecating at times and a little sarcastic. As you get to know me more as the season continues, I hope you see in me my honest heart and genuine spirit."
Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County we met newbie Lizzie Rovsek, who definitely proved she's no trophy wife! Other newbie Danielle Gregorio hosted an Ugly Sweater Christmas party, which college kids have been doing since the dawn of Greek civilization. Instead of cranberry Jello shots, Danielle is serving cranberry champagne punch with very expensive 'champs', something that really chaps Heather Dubrow's notion of propriety. She's going to have to send Danielle an instructional guide to Champs, complete with illustrations.
Tamra Barney is pretty bent out of shape about having to participate in an ugly sweater affair – this coming from the woman who hosted an 80's themed Bunko party. "I'm not really into ugly," Tamra complains. I guess Tamra only supports ugly when it comes to her own ugly personality!
This is like a unicorn sighting! A Real Housewife admitting when she's wrong! Heather Dubrow is very sorry for talking to Tamra Judge's husband Eddie about their "baby issues" and even apologizes!
Last night onThe Real Housewives of Orange County, Heather pulled Eddie aside to dish a little on what Tamra told her about having another baby. When Eddie approached Tamra to ask her not to share such personal things with Heather, Tamra was obviously pretty irked at Heather. And Heather is truly sorry for the whole thing.
We're still at Shannon's dinner party and tensions are running high. I blame Shannon and her non-organic vodka and her totally toxic marriage, despite the efforts of radiation detectors. Where's the detector that detects the bad vibes Shannon radiates?! She's got everyone gripping their knives for protection and wondering when the next onslaught is going to come. At least the food was good – everyone talks about the food – and the house.
Heather is most on edge of all. Fancy Pants doesn't like the new girl with her shi-shi-shi house giving her a run for her fancy pants money. To assert her crown Heather starts taking it out on the little people. She tells Vicki to hush (which finally, somebody did!) and stop interrupting while Shannon tells her Unhappily Married Support Group opener about how she was the girl who could never be alone and then she married David because well, he said hey!
It is so bizarre to me that people would put their entire lives on display for our entertainment (I'm not complaining though!), but I find it terribly disturbing that even with cameras in their faces 24/7, so much more drama goes on behind the scenes. More than one housewife in the Bravo franchise has claimed to be the victim of domestic abuse while on the show, and now Tamra Judge's son is calling out his former step-father's violent behavior.
Lizzie is a former model who has two children with her husband who works in real estate. She is quick to admit that the veteran "wives" didn't welcome the new faces with open arms. In fact she likens her co-stars cattiness to hazing. Lizzie reveals that she did not expect their behavior at all, yet she also watched the show before appearing on it, so…