Vanderpump Rules

Celebrity Apprentice - Arnold

The holidays are officially over, and as a reward for surviving the networks are bringing us new seasons of Celebrity Apprentice (with brand new host Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Teen Mom 2 season 8. There’s also an all-new episode of Vanderpump Rules.

Celebrity Apprentice has been on hiatus for 2 years while they replaced hosts when Donald Trump left to focus on politics. The show also moved from NYC to LA and Tyra Banks is on board as an advisor. This season’s cast features Real Housewives Porsha Williams and Kyle Richards, and other reality star veterans Carson Kressley and Snooki.

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Stassi Schroeder is licking her wounds after a few tumultuous episodes of Vanderpump Rules and opening up to Theo Von (ex of the illustrious Brandi Glanville) on his podcast “Allegedly.”

Stassi dishes on all the Vanderpump Rules drama, including that she’s so upset over the editing of the last couple episodes that she’s considering quitting the show, her issues with Lisa Vanderpump, and a whole lot about her personal life.

Stassi admits she’s headed to Cabo with some of her castmates to be the “seventh wheel” on a couples trip, because she’s vowed to stay single for an entire year. She’s presently just ‘dating’ on many apps, which she hates.

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Lisa fires James again

Get your Tom + Katie tea towels ready to clean up the muck that has become Vanderpump Rules!

Recovering from Christmas and an ultimate cookie binge, the last thing I’m in the mood for is whining from Katie Maloney and Stassi Schroeder. But, alas, I am nothing if not a consummate professional, so I have wrenched myself from the sluggish glut of a living room filled with wrapping paper (how many calories does wading through wrapping paper burn?) to complete this recap. Happy holidays! Katie just blew her life savings on $18.00 custom tea towels, and her life now consists of hatefully glaring at Tom Schwartz while folding said towels into cardboard boxes, wrapping the whole thing with twine, and mailing it. In case you were wondering wtf: that’s her wedding invite.

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jax-taylor

Vanderpump Rules returns tonight with an all new episode, filled with mean girls and medical issues. If you missed last week’s episode, catch up here with the recap.

Jax Taylor goes under the knife again, this time to have some work done on his chest. Jax developed gynecomastia, which he blames on taking too many supplements.  He wants to be clear that it’s not a “breast reduction” and says this condition is common with body builders.

james kennedy

On Christmas Day singer George Michael passed away suddenly and the world has been reeling over yet another shocking 2016 loss.  Vanderpump Rules‘ star James Kennedy is taking this loss hard, since George Michael was his godfather.

James took to Instagram last night to mourn the loss. He shared this throwback photo of George giving him a giant stuffed Barney when he was a child.  He captioned the picture with, “Rest In Peace George I’m heartbroken we never got to speak again after so many years, I can’t believe this has happened, please watch over me in heaven Godfather. Enjoy paradise I love you.”

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Kristen-Doute-Dog-Missing

It’s a real struggle for me to think of things that Kristen Doute and her former boss Lisa Vanderpump have in common. In fact, the only one I can think of is that they both have a strong love for animals. In fact, Kristen is now a doggie foster mom. Unfortunately, the good news ends there since Kristen’s dog Bowie is missing.

Kristen’s dog has been missing for about a day now and, as expected, she has been frantically searching for the dog all over the area and posting on social media.

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Stassi-Shroeder-Kristen-Doute-Katie-Maloney-Couch-Pose-Vanderpump-Rules

A word of advice to every cast member of Vanderpump Rules: Stop with the day drinking, already! As we saw on this week’s installment of VPR, Stassi Schroeder would benefit greatly from a clear head when facing her imaginary rivals at surprise-not-surprise parties far and wide. And, according to Stassi’s commentary on last night’s episode – she agrees!

“Lesson 1: don’t agree to go up to ppl to ‘talk’ after 6 hours of drinking in the sun,” tweeted Stassi last night after witnessing her sloppy behavior on camera, adding, “Lesson 2: be fake so that I get a good edit.” So, which is it: drunk or fake? I’ll put my money on both!

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Vanderpump Rules recap

It’s a cold day in L.A. before I take Scheana Marie‘s side about anything, but thanks to last night’s Vanderpump Rules that icy apocalypse has arrived.

Does anyone even understand what happened last night? It was essentially 30-year-old women playing drunken telephone as if bringing a stupid bridal party game to real life. Somehow, Stassi Schroeder took a situation that she was not a part of in any way, and through heresy, put her own special Stassi spin on it until it dildo-in-acid exploded on Scheana, soaking her in the bile of bad friendships and her own bad karma.

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