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RHOA in Miami

Honestly I don’t know what to say about last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta. Sorry this is late by the way – I was re-playing the ‘Glen Gets Slammed Into The Wall’ scene on repeat until dawn. 

Somewhere Glen Rice Jr. turned to the very dark side. Either he’s a drunk, rude, out of control jerk; or he’s a rude, out of control jerk, but alcohol (+ Kenya Moore?) made things worse! 

I think we can ALL agree we’re not getting the whole story from Bravo. Based on the women’s reactions, Glen’s 0-60 psychosis, plus the 3 mobile refrigerator units that appeared out of nowhere to practice their sumo skills on Glen and living room wall, I’d say some serious SERIOUS information got lost on the editing floor. Right next to Porsha Williams‘ couth, dignity, and trophy wife status! (Did she REALLY admit to a golden shower on television last night? Really?!) 

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Glen Rice Jr. Is Rude To Kandi

Glen was “so nasty, and so rude!” all night. After he schooled Kenya for snapping in his face and she laughed maniacally about how spicy he is and tried twirling her skirt in his face (no success), he mouthed off to Kandi Burruss for getting an attitude with him when he asked about her pregnancy. DUDE – DUUUUUUUDE: pregnant women are allowed to be grouchy as f–k. So don’t snap, “I don’t want nottin’ from you.” Kim Fields directed him away from Miami’s Old Lady Gang, so Glen compliantly wandered away. 

Meanwhile Porsha was playing MTV Spring Break Bikini competition, Party Of 1 for Oliver. The man she met at the restaurant. The BEST part of the episode – Oliver slips getting into the infinity pool and almost does a full-split! 10 points for flexibility and 10 more points for excellent recovery. Someone’s golden shower just got overshadowed! 

At that juncture, Kenya and Glen are sparring. Far from being the love connection of Kenya’s next fake boyfriend dreams, Kenya decides Glen needs to get ‘The SECURRRRRITY Treatment” and leave. 

Here’s where it gets dicey. Glen was walking out the door, with Tammy Browning escorting him, when Kenya decides  to administer a lecture to Glen on being an impolite houseguest. Timing is everything, Kenya (7 Habits…)! This ‘confrontation’ seemed staged to me. Just me? 

Kenya Confronts Glen

Glen charges towards Kenya and calls her a “little bitch”!! Phaedra Parks amazingly acts as Kenya’s sentry and didn’t flinch a muscle. Tammy tries to stop him. Glen (Intentionally? Accidentally?) shoves Tammy – hits Tammy? – I’m not sure because it seemed like I was watching two very different moments spliced together – and Tammy falls on the marble floor, whacking her head.

Phaedra attends to Tammy

Security bum-rushes Glen. Kenya bum-rushes the ladies who didn’t witness the incident to get her side of the story out right quick, and Phaedra attended to Tammy, directing Porsha and Shamea Morton to get towels, ice and call 9-1-1. 

Kim tries to communicate situational awareness to Kenya, but Kenya temper-tantrums in response. Kim is all, ‘The best way to nip tantruming in the bud is to ignore them,” so she grabs her suitcase and rolls to a hotel! An ambulance snags Tammy.

Glen… Well, one would think he disappeared, but SURPRISE! like the Boogeyman he returned at 4 am to escort Tammy, in her hospital robe plus socks(!) back to the house, “children of the cornrows”-style. The other women wouldn’t let them in. Except Kenya and Cynthia Bailey (those two had a tiff earlier), the ladies were awake making iPhone movies mimicking the evening’s events. 

Tammy + Glen returns

There are NO CAMERAS up for Glen’s return. Only some grainy iPhone footage survives. The next morning Kandi leaves. And the women have all decided Kenya is absolutely at fault for provoking Glen into a violent reaction. 

I’m confused. Sheree Whitfield, Kim, Porsha, and Phaedra emphatically recount how Kenya goaded Glen into his aggressive outburst – which, from what I saw, did not happen. Phaedra even makes it a political issue about how black men are misaligned in our society. Regardless of what was said (or if Glen was really digging the free booze and the hot tub at the house and didn’t want go home), his hair trigger temper and gross mouth was unacceptable and seriously disturbing. 

I am interested in the ladies blaming Kenya, however, because, yes, Kenya was rude to Glen, and even a bit spiteful that she wasn’t getting his attention (even though dude looked like the aftermath of a week-long bender and was using the hot tub as both a shower and a washing machine). However, despite the ridiculous comment when Glen was leaving, it didn’t appear as if Kenya paid much attention to Glen!  

Kandi is leaving

Based on that, I’ve decided 5 things:

  1. We are not getting even close to the whole story. There was serious messiness involved that was swept away in the editing room and for some reason they don’t want us knowing the full story. And the other women perceive it to be centered around Kenya’s behavior. 
  2. Tammy has terrible taste: from her beer, to her braids, to her boys.
  3. If I’m ever stranded on a desert island, or in any type of emergency with a Real Housewife, I choose Phaedra. Lady was cool as a pickled cucumber under pressure. 
  4. Kenya should stop the shenanigans and try being herself for a change. Or at least pick a personality other than shit-stirring delusional Krayonce, Miss WHO-SA, the beauty queen on bathsalts who constantly cries innocent victim as if this shit isn’t on film. (Speaking of – do you think she slipped Glen some bathsalts?). ETA: Regardless of the Glen situation I want Kenya to stop this. 
  5. Real Housewives Of Atlanta needs some MAJOR classing up. Let’s steer this wonky boat in a different direction and showcase some fabulous Atlanta women, living fabulous lives (but She By SheBroke&Shady can stay). 

Back in Atlanta, Kim calls-out Kenya for brewing trouble. Kenya attempts to use ‘smart-speak’ to twist Kim’s words, but Kim is actually smart and isn’t caught in the trap. Kim asks why Kenya added negativity into the cocktail of Glen + Booze, thus helping to create a potent NB-CRAY! 

Kim confronts Kenya

Kenya feels her actions were justified, because she was fighting for her friends’ safety. Kim announces, “When I wanna bounce – I bounce.” (And she ain’t talking’ about checks!). 

TELL US – ARE WE GETTING THE WHOLE STORY? DID KENYA PROVOKE GLEN, OR WHAT IS UP WITH THE OTHER LADIES’ REACTIONS? 

[Photo Credits: Bravo]

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