Lisa Vanderpump

Can we all just agree that game nights and the ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are just a terrible, terrible mix? It’s like tere and prostitution whores or Vicki Gunvalson and boyfriends or Kenya Moore and reality. They just don’t fit well together. Make it stop, Bravo. The charades I can handle…the drama, not so much!

On this week’s RHOBH, the dreaded recurring game night occurred at Kyle Richards’ abode, complete with the newbies and a very healthy looking Kim Richards but sans slut pigs (thankfully). Eileen Davidson used the opportunity to nitpick the accent memory and word choice and panty pranks of Dorit Kemsley, while Lisa Rinna revisited her long-standing feud with Kim. Don’t get me wrong, I am not quite on board with Dorit, but she clearly has no clue how to handle these women. I adored Eileen on Days of Our Lives (especially as Kristen DiMera’s crazy twin Susan), but her pettiness is exhausting. Ditto for Rinna’s hustling and QVC line anger at Kim. At least the even keeled Lisa Vanderpump is here to give us her words of wisdom!


Taking to her blog, Lisa writes, “And here we are once more. As I sit here on vacation, a brief respite from the daily bustle I live in, I ponder and reflect as to how on earth I can make sense of this convoluted scenario. So many different inconclusive conversations, driven by LR And ED…”

Noting that the girls seemed on board with Dorit’s panty prank until they saw Erika’s reaction, Lisa begins, “The crux of the matter in regard to knicker gate was the fact that Dorit perpetuated a faux pas by discussing it with all but Erika Girardi. But cast our minds back, although I fear being repetitive, the sentiment, albeit perhaps misguided, was to bring levity, to jest about what had transpired…If there was even a hint, a minuscule drop of discouragement displayed from Kyle, LR and ED in regard to Dorit’s plan, maybe she would’ve been reticent to follow through.”

She continues, “But to the contrary, there was encouragement, so when Eileen states at Game Night that she was being protective of Erika, as she rubbed her arm, mmm let me explain how being protective works… One, you could perhaps call Erika and say that the knickers were coming down so to speak, so be prepared, or you might say, ‘Dorit, Erika might not be amused’ or ‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’ not ‘Oh we have to be there’ or ‘Yippee this will be an interesting conversation!’ What was the term Eileen used? Oh yes, ‘The Crotch Chronicles,’ yes that was it. So it’s understandable that Dorit has trouble computing all the chatter about Erika being humiliated and blindsided, as that was not the plan at all.”


Lisa recalls, “The other dilemma is as to the sentiment displayed by PK and Dorit at their dinner.Dorit had asked me repeatedly what had ensued between the group last year. I urged her to discover that for herself if she needed to, it was documented it wasn’t that difficult, but I was reluctant to give her the lowdown for fear of being accused of exactly what Eileen has stated. No, I wanted Dorit to draw her own conclusions,” adding, “I believe in an effort to diminish the importance of what had transpired between us,  Dorit and PK naively stated that maybe it was a result of the emotional turmoil they were both experiencing that resulted in the negativity towards me…Not so.”

Stating she concurs that the family deaths faced by Eileen and Rinna had nothing to do with their falling out, Lisa asserts, “The timing was wrong, unbeknownst to them, but I knew for sure that was not a catalyst in what had erupted between us. I remember sending flowers to LR a while after Dubai, not as a peace offering, but as a reminder that condolences would always supersede any histrionics they had been leveled against me. It was a sad time in her life but long after our situation.”

Of the newbie’s uncanny ability to recall things incorrectly (if at all!), Lisa explains, “Dorit is a rookie and unused to the wherewithal one might need to, shall we say, circumvent altercations in this group. Her recollections have been slightly inaccurate, but to no great extent. Kyle agreed that Erika might have unresolved feelings for sure. She just didn’t initiate that statement; Dorit did.”

Rehashing the confrontation between Kim and Rinna, Lisa says what we were all thinking. She notes, “At game night the interaction between LR and Kim became unduly aggressive. Raising Kim’s incident with the law was designed to humiliate and embarrass her. Also the prickly subject of Mr. Hamlin reared its ugly head once more. The jabs were still as pointed as the shards of glass that shattered that night on the table.”

As for that sincere (eye roll) apology, Lisa adds, “When LR states that she meant to hurt Kim and now she was truly sorry…Being truly sorry means you have regret, you are remorseful and desire to heal the wound, you display contrition. The only way she can do that would be to stop commenting, stop contesting in a public forum Kim’s sobriety and be happy for her situation now. So we will see the validity of this apology as we proceed down this path. I know what lies ahead, but you don’t, and that is why I encourage you all to keeeeeeeep watching.”

Signing off, Lisa concludes, “Now let me have another sip of my margarita before I jump onto a plane and head back to my very own reality. Until next week, remember my mantra, love and laughter supersede all. As always…Love Lisa.”

I’d like a margarita too after that episode. Maybe floor four…


[Photo Credit: Bravo]