Perma-spurned exes Brandi Glanville and Dean Sheremet are once again discussing their failed romances and griping about Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes. I’d say get a new schtick, but frankly I don’t think they want to!
Dean and Brandi talked about their recent reality show My Kitchen Rules, and reconnected on Brandi’s Unfiltered podcast. Brandi introduced Dean as her “ex-costar” and he jokes, “I don’t wanna ever be one of your exes!” Brandi agrees, “Listen – I don’t blame you, but I think you would make a better ex than my actual exes. I’m friends with all of my exes except for my ex-husband.”
Reminiscing about My Kitchen Rules, they admit to bickering constantly about everything – even Dean’s appearance. “There were moments,” agreed Dean, “but I was never not on your side.”
It was Dean’s first experience with reality TV. He describes it as “fun,” but offers, “I think they could’ve edited it a little bit different… to make it more exciting.”
“I think because it’s network it’s different than Bravo or E! where it’s more like craziness, because we both know there was some crazy shit that went on! I want to see My Kitchen Rules uncut!” laughs Brandi. She references a cut scene of Dean getting a spray tan in a tiny speedo by one of Brandi’s hot friends. Later Dean jokes that he and Brandi “almost had sex,” which she emphatically denies.
They launch into discussing LeAnn and Eddie. Dean recently divorced again following five years of marriage to his second wife Sarah. Brandi refers to Sarah as Dean’s “not-so-crazy-ex-wife.” Dean and Sarah are still friends, which is not the case with LeAnn. “I don’t think she wants to be my friend, even though I’ve reached out and tried to be nice, and I’ve offered a ‘Hey – let’s go to coffee next time I’m LA.’ And I got, [mimics LeAnn responding with a huffy voice] ‘Well, as long as Eddie can come too!’ Like … I don’t understand – do you not trust yourself?”
Dean laments about being labeled an “ex-husband and backup dancer” in the press, because he hasn’t danced since 2002. Brandi blames LeAnn, insisting, “You know she put that out there!”
Brandi recently ran into LeAnn and Eddie at Mason’s 8th grade graduation. “I didn’t see them until the end and then I didn’t talk to them, because we’re not talking.” Dean referenced the latest incident to inflame the never-ending BrEdLe feud: Reservationgate.
“Apparently I go after them to stay relevant,” Brandi snarked, “and so my question is: If I wanted to go after someone to stay relevant, wouldn’t I go after someone who’s actually relevant? Like, maybe, Andy Cohen, or a Housewife? Like this makes no sense at all. For Eddie to like say that – it’s like, dude, check your f–king Wikipedia!” Dean corrects her that she means IMDB, and Brandi remarks that there’s “nothing happening” on either.
Brandi insists, “I honestly don’t have a feud with [LeAnn] – she’s crazy, and she is insane. I will say my kids love her and she pays the bills, so God Bless.”
Since Brandi always has drama with fish, she insists there’s no way LeAnn could’ve coincidentally booked NOBU at the same time. “It was Saturday, in the middle of the day … it wasn’t step-moms day, it wasn’t dinner… after she watched DJ’s Snap all day they show up there for dinner at 4PM? It just doesn’t make sense to me.” Dean, jokingly, posits that LA just doesn’t have enough restaurants.
Dean laughs that Eddie puts the “DB [for douchebag] in IMDB!” and also dubs him the “Yoko Ono of television.” Brandi claims that Eddie is to blame for his latest TV project being dropped. “He didn’t just get fired – he got the whole thing canceled! He’s cursed!” To avoid the “Cibrian curse,” Brandi wants to change her kids last name to Glanville.
Cause she isn’t a curse? “I told them we’re gonna hyphenate it. I gave up my vagina for those children!” (Brandi complains again about her vaginal rejuvenation. In super TMI Brandi reveals the surgery caused some discoloration and her vagina is now “a little gray”).
Onto Dean he’s dating a new woman, who’s also an ex-fling. It didn’t work out because she used to be a vegan. “That’s like me dating a sober person,” Brandi exclaims, “it would never work out!” So funny how much Brandi and Scheana Marie have in common…
Brandi teases Dean about being gay because one of her gay friends asked if he was. “I wish I were gay,” he laughs, “it would be so much easier.”
This leads into a discussion about their former co-star Cat Cora. Despite not getting along with her on the show, Cat hired Dean afterwards and it was a great experience. “She’s great,” agrees Brandi, who also made a veiled reference to her former rumored fling with Cat.
Brandi teases Dean for only dating Jewish girls (his second ex-wife was Jewish) and labels him a “kosher piece of meat.” Dean then reveals that he actually converted. “I don’t blame you – they’re all really rich and stuff,” quips Brandi. “It’s really good for business and your bank account.”
Brandi finds Dean’s conversion “very random,” and this leads into a “Jewish Q&A.” Of course, Brandi barely lets Dean answer because she constantly interrupts. Brandi announces that Bris are “not right,” and she can’t go to them anymore because “it’s torture.” She also reveals, “that most of the Jewish guys I’ve dated have huge penises.”
Brandi declares that she’s always invited to Shabbat dinners, and Dean calls her “Shabbat arm candy.” And laughs, “I think people just like to bring you to dinner just to see what happens.” Brandi agrees, “That’s pretty much what I think it is – I’m a novelty to these people. I should start charging – $3,000 per Shabbat dinner.”
Moving onto parenting… Mason and Jake are starting private school at $30,000 a year, per kid.
According to Brandi, Mason “did not flourish” in public school and “just barely” got his 8th grade diploma. “He got an F in PE. The problem is he never brought his clothes. It’s the responsibility part of it,” she continues. “He’s lazy as f–k!” Brandi blames the school, and When Dean calls her out on, Brandi justifies that blaming the school is “easier than just blaming my kid.”
Oddly, they then wander into this whole interlude in which Brandi complains about there kids not liking to shower, which she doesn’t understand because it’s the perfect place to masturbate. CAN WE SAY TOTALLY GROSS.
Brandi is super happy with DJ Friese, but resents being labeled as a gold digger. “I think I would rather be poor but have great sex. I mean I want both. I’m not rich, but he’s rich. Everyone assumes that he’s like paying my rent, paying my bills – he does not do that. He’s lovely…”
Brandi recently got a whole bunch of new sex toys. “I spent the whole day in my room testing things.”
Brandi had a huge fight with her brother and called her sister-in-law a bitch. The drama started over a Memorial Day party DJ Friese was having. Brandi called her family to try to invite them – with Jake in the car – but no one answered, so she left everyone “You suck!” messages. Brandi’s sister-in-law wasn’t happy about her kids hearing said message, and Brandi got defensive. Then Brandi texted, “Bye bitch.” Which led to the next Real Housewives Of New Jersey... (I kid!). Brandi also adds that her niece, who goes to private school, is a straight-A student.
Brandi alludes to doing a secret “reality prison” project and sighs, “I can’t really talk about it, but it’s a paycheck and I’m stressed the f–k out.”
Brandi has a heart condition, and that’s why she’s “not good with medicine.”
You can listen to the full interview here.
TELL US – WILL BRANDI AND LEANN EVER GET IT TOGETHER? DO YOU WANT TO SEE DEAN BACK ON REALITY TV?
[Photo Credit: Instagram]