Last night the reunion of The Real Housewives of Potomac kicked off with a huge downer that Karen Huger’s dad had passed away from Alzheimer’s Disease just two weeks prior to taping, and the funeral had been a mere five days earlier. On top of that, her mom had died just seven months ago, so it’s been a terrible time for Karen. When your husband owing millions to the IRS is 3rd on your list of problems, then you know emotions are running wild. She hung in there for a while, but ultimately it got the best of her.
Before we dive into the minutia of grievances these women have, and since all season I have compared them to high schoolers (and sometimes junior high), I’d like to start with my reunion superlatives.
Best Hair: Ashley Darby. I love her natural curls.
Worst Hair: Robyn Dixon. I know, I know. Unpopular opinion. IMHO she swung for the fences but struck out.
Best Dressed: Monique Samuels. From make-up to dress to baby bump, I like her look the best.
Worst dressed: Karen Huger. I love tulle, but Karen stole my old bridal veil and sewed it to her ass.
Best Shoulder to Cry On: Gizelle Bryant. When all the women sat glued to their seats, it was the First Lady that showed Karen kindness.
Best Spontaneous Line: Candiace Dillard: When Ashley called her Pageant Patty, she responded, “Pageant Patty has a National title, Boo. Where’s yours?
Best Impression of a Little Yippee Dog: Ashley Darby. I like Ashley. Why is she trying so hard to be the villain?
MVP: Karen Huger. There is no close 2nd.
At least we get to start with a few fun times but not nearly enough for my taste. I guess no bubble ball or Nemacolins made the cut. I would have loved to see the entire wig slip replayed. However, I do appreciate the new information that Karen keeps her wigs in a Wal-Mart bag. Gurl! I love a bargain too!
We dive directly into Monique’s accident and whether or not she was driving while intoxicated. They show us Ashley telling Robin that Monique had four martinis before the accident and then we see the umbrella fight she had with Robyn. Andy wants to know if Ashley regrets saying Monique had four martinis before the crash. Ashley references other occasions where Monique has had several drinks as well. Sometimes Shady Andy is the best Andy because he points out that in nearly every scene Ashley is sucking on a Corona. Monique also points out that Ashley herself drank plenty at lunch but it wasn’t until Ashley was on Watch What Happens Live that she came up with the story that she took a nap before driving home. She never said it when they were filming. Let’s just point out that two wrongs don’t make a right. Andy tells Monique that she’s being really defensive.
Monique got lots of pushback for her website called Not for Lazy Moms. People were offended by the name. Gizelle and Robyn both admit they haven’t seen it but are judging it solely based on the name. Andy asks who called her to congratulate her on her pregnancy and it looks like it is just her side of the couch that did. Ashley, Robyn, and Gizelle must have been too busy delivering pizzas to Great Falls to make a call. They also bring up Monique upgrading to first class, but does anyone care about this argument? Now they’re just arguing to argue, so let’s move on to Candiace.
Let’s make it perfectly clear: Andy Cohen will be seeing the brown penis before this reunion comes to a close. He moves on to the Princess fight. What we didn’t know is that in addition to Chris calling her a Princess, he told her not to let the show go to her head because she isn’t s***. That’s pretty bad to tell the woman you’re planning on marrying, but Candiace says they work because they’re so honest with each other. On a side note, I saw that Candiace and Chris tied the knot this weekend, so congratulations and if she gets another season I’m glad we won’t be watching the wedding prep again. I’m just putting this out there: Divorce by Bravo…
It’s time for me to go fill up my wine glass because it’s Robyn’s turn. There’s only one way for me to get through her storyline and it isn’t sober. Robyn and Juan are doing well; they are continuing to focus on their family…basically the same song and dance three years running. Let’s also point out that the medium they hired could have Googled all the info he laid out to Robyn and Juan, but she swears she never revealed the shyster who stole her money and killed himself. Mm-Hmmm… Reality Tea crack team of commenters said at the time that episode aired that this was a big story back in the day. I’m putting my money on them rather than a fly by night medium.
Karen admits to Robyn that she should have handled the gala/woman’s empowerment forum double booking better. She had wanted to go to both, but when Robyn got so angry at her, she decided to blow her off and attend Monique’s more entertaining event and hang out where she was actually wanted. Then there’s the mean meme that Monique’s bother posted on her fan page and of course, Monique doesn’t take any responsibility and instead points out that Robyn is Gizelle’s lap dog. She says she’ll address it with her bother. Yeeeaaah…sure she will.
It’s time to talk about Karen. I want to talk about the wig slip during bubble ball or her one-liners. Can we talk about her K-Mart blue light special walking shoes in France? All Andy wants to focus on is the IRS debt. How many times does Karen need to tell us that it’s all behind her? Except for paying them – That part is still up in the air. Karen admits she didn’t question Ray because she trusted him, she was spoiled, and she could have done better.
They talk about the press conference and how Karen arrived in cammo and Gizelle had a #SAVEUNCLEBEN t-shirt on. Karen fully admits she came in with a bad attitude because she felt betrayed by Robyn. However, we are now told that it was JUAN’s fault that the entire mess started. When Robyn got off the phone with Karen, Juan said that Karen was lying, so that’s what prompted Robyn to go around the streets of Potomac and spread the word far and wide. Let’s get one thing straight, and this is just my opinion, but Robyn literally yells at people that they are liars, tells everyone to just own it, but when it comes to her own foolishness, she passes the blame. Why would Karen ever be honest with Robyn again after what happened at the beginning of the season? Karen thought it was schadenfreude and no way was she going to share personal information with any of them. Right now she’s surviving, not lying. On the one hand, she wanted Gizelle to come see her and on the other, she told Gizelle she wasn’t welcome. Everyone knew her parents were sick and was it too much to ask for just a little break? No one expressed any sympathy about it and now they’re both dead and gone. Andy says he’s really sorry about her dad and that small bit of empathy is just enough to send Karen off the edge. She bursts out crying and runs off the stage. Monique reveals that Karen broke down while they were getting dressed. Surprisingly, at least to me, Gizelle is the one that gets up and follows Karen backstage. Giving her a huge hug, Gizelle tells Karen she is the strongest woman she knows, but Karen is tired of being strong. She just can’t do it anymore. And just like that, kindness is what ultimately broke the Grand Dame’s veneer.
Next week the husbands are in the hot seat. Apparently, Ray Huger hired a P.I. to investigate Michael, so they just might bring more drama than the ladies.
TELL US: WHO DO YOU THINK WON THE SUPERLATIVES? DO YOU THINK GIZELLE AND KAREN CAN PATCH UP THEIR FRIENDSHIP AFTER WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM TONIGHT? WHAT DID YOU THINK OF PART 1?
Recap Author: Dana S.
[Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo]