Real Housewives Of New York Recap: Christmas With The Countess

BUT WHAT DO I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS? JUST A REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK EPISODE THAT ISN’T BORING. Is that too much to ask? Give us an episode this season that doesn’t feel like watching paint dry. The cast isn’t as terrible as people are making it out to be. There has to be more going on than we are seeing. Why are they cutting out some of the best scenes. This isn’t how you make good television. Do better.

Luann de Lesseps making a Christmas song is somehow the most exciting thing happening. Whether you love her or hate her, at least Leah McSweeney is bringing some drama. The drama might be regarding a lower level Christmas track, but it’s a start. Give the people what they want. They should’ve done a better job at keeping Heather Thomson this season. Also, Bershan Shaw should have an apple. It’s really that simple.

Sonja Morgan & Luann meet up the day after the double birthday party. Sonja’s looking for Mr. Right, but she’s open to any guys right now. We’re talking about Sonja here. Would we expect anything else from her?

Ramona Singer shows up and is shocked to learn Sonja went home with one of the men from the pasty. Didn’t Ramona also do the same? Do the rules not apply to her? Of course not. Just look at her history with wearing masks in the pandemic.

Sonja accidentally tells the girls Eboni K. Williams broke up with her man. He wanted her to be born Jewish. Eboni converting wasn’t enough for him. Why would he wait so long to tell her how he felt? There was no point in stringing her along.

Luann quoting her own song in a confessional is icon status. She has no self awareness, but it’s almost an endearing quality. Luann loves Luann. Chic, C’est La Vie!

Leah trots out her sexy ass brother for all of the world to see. Why are we forced to look at her sister with no personality? This is the sibling we deserve on our screens every week. Let’s stop trying to make her Wednesday Addams sister happen and bring out the brother more often.

Leah explains to her brother how their mother is harder on the girls than him. Her upcoming conversion to Judaism is seemingly rubbing her mother the wrong way. It’s a fun story line for her, but it feels like the type of thing that’ll be gone next season. We probably won’t hear another peep about this in the future.

I’ll never understand why Sonja has so many interns. What does she need that much assistance with? It’s always been the most baffling thing.

Sonja’s healer drops by for a visit. She’s still shaken by the seance in Salem where her father’s spirit surfaced. She’s never put in the work about her father, so this is a first. There’s been so many seasons of Sonja spiraling, and now we might have the real root of it.

Sonja’s issues seemingly stem from not feeling good enough for her father and stepfather. There are so many levels of abandonment living inside her subconscious. Sonja’s arc on this show has been quite a depressing fall from grace. It would be nice to see her climb out of this pit of despair and prosper once again.

The healer wants to manifest removing the trauma caused by these men in her life. Most of Sonja’s sloppy moments very clearly stem from a place of hurt. When she gets into that head space about her family with alcohol involved, it’s game over. There’s no pulling her back from the edge. Maybe now Sonja can start the process of discovering who she is without this hurt.

Eboni’s holding the future of her life and family in her hands. The DNA results are in. She’s moments away from knowing if the man she thought fathered her truly did. For Eboni’s sake, I hope this man is her father and she’s able to call Ashley her biological sister.

Unfortunately for Eboni (and Ashley), they are not blood related. She’s back to being totally in the dark about who she is and where she comes from. She has to start over on this journey. However as of right now, she has no idea who her biological father is. Heartbreaking and not the news she was so desperately hoping for.

Sonja wants to see the books regarding her clothing line. Her business partner is allegedly not being as upfront as he should. Sonja’s worked so damn hard for so long to make something of herself. She’s wanted to be an international fashion lifestyle brand for years. She was close with her clothing line, but the store going out of business changed everything.

Sonja wants cold hard facts about her business. This man isn’t giving her anything. He talks in fucking circles, and he just feels like a seedy character. She needs to part ways and go in another direction.

Ramona arrives at the business discussion ready to do battle on behalf of Sonja. Sonja’s business partners brings up $10,000 in uncashed checks. She doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on, and Ramona feels blindsided. She doesn’t think her bestie is giving her the full story.

I’m sorry, but Sonja is NOT capable of running her own company. She has a ton of grand ideas but no clear idea on how to follow through with anything. Sonja wants to be this badass business maven. That’s a great thing to aspire to. However, you must be able to follow through with the ideas. If you can’t, go into another line of work.

Luann’s musical interests are expanding, and Christmas is the next stop on her takeover. She’s working her ass off to make this new Christmas song become the next great holiday anthem. I know she’s doing all of this for charity, but it feels like she wants it to be more. Maybe Leah was on to something about money being a larger factor in all of this.

Eboni fills Leah in about the DNA results, and she’s still struggling with the results. Obviously it’s a depressing moment to go through, but there could be a positive at the end of this. It’s possible her father could still be alive. How great would that be?

Eboni’s meeting with someone who is going to use her DNA to find her birth father. I hope she can find what she wants out of this experience. It would be the worst thing though if she does meet this man, and he doesn’t want her. Meeting your birth father and finding out they aren’t equipped to be a part is one of the worst feelings. Trust me. I’ve been there.

Luann’s taking FOREVER doing the opening sequence of her music video. Ramona’s standing there waiting for Lu to get through this, but the diva is really coming out. Luann is NOT okay with being out in the cold and rain. You can’t blame her for that, but it’s still taking so damn long. If this is how the opening part is going, imagine how long the entire video is going to take. Hopefully she got the paperwork in order though before Leah blows a gasket.

WHO THE FUCK BRINGS THEIR DOG TO A TAPING OF A MUSIC VIDEO? Leah has zero control over that dog. It’s always ruining events being hosted by the other women. Does she even ask before inviting her mangy mutt to events where it doesn’t belong?

The man Sonja left the party with HAD A GIRLFRIEND. Sonja allegedly was passed out drunk in his hotel room with him and his girlfriend there. This is not a good look for Sonja. If that’s true, it means she lied about sleeping with him.

What’s the point in making something like that up? Sonja has nothing to prove to anyone. Not one bit. This isn’t the first time she’s been caught making out stories about her nightlife. When is it going to end? Cut the bullshit, and act like a real person. Don’t be a caricature of yourself.

Ramona & Luann keep asking Sonja for details about the night even though they know the answers. What I don’t like is the way they’re mocking her. It’s like everyone’s in on the joke about Sonja, and they’re letting her embarrass herself.

I’d have more respect for Ramona & Lu if they’d come right out and confront her. Stop asking questions designed to trip Sonja up and humiliate her. What sort of friends would do something like that? That’s uncalled for.

Sonja opens up to Leah a bit more about the night with Dylan, but overall there aren’t many details. Eboni comes with the facts about how Sonja is made to feel like she MUST make up stories like this. This is what the group has done to her. They expect it from her which forces her to fabricate parts of her life.

They’re trying to film the final scene for the music video, but Ramona’s holding it up. She won’t put her phone down and get off of a business call. You’d expect Luann to be the biggest diva in all of this, but the Countess is nothing compared to Ramona.

TELL US – ARE YOU EXCITED FOR LUANN’S CHRISTMAS SONG? ARE LUANN & RAMONA GOOD FRIENDS TO SONJA? DOES SONJA TELL TOO MANY TALL TALES? ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS SEASON OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NEW YORK?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]