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RHONY Recap

Leah McSweeney Real Housewives Of New York

Time for the annual Real Housewives of New York Mexico trip! No idea why they always go to the same place, but it’ll be fun nonetheless. Trouble is afoot though after last week’s birthday disaster. Ramona Singer was NOT having Leah McSweeney’s dirty dancing at her birthday bash. She spent the entire episode dragging Leah for attire she deemed inappropriate. Who made Ramona the fashion police?

It seems like everyone is growing tired of Ramona being an awful person. This season may be the biggest example of her toxic behavior. The way she treats her longtime friends Sonja Morgan and Dorinda Medley is dreadful. Although, Dorinda hasn’t exactly been a saint this season. Her actions have crossed the line into bullying many times. The biggest villain of this season is alcohol. It makes them all so messy!

Ramona Singer Real Housewives Of New York

This has to be the most alcohol fueled season of The Real Housewives of New York ever. Hands down. We know these women love to drink, but this season is off the rails. Bethenny Frankel leaving the show did SOMETHING to this group. They’re totally insane. At first it looked like Leah McSweeney could be that force, but she’s fallen in line with the mess. Someone help these women!

Ramona’s birthday is front and center on this episode, and things look crazy! I cannot wait for her fourth wall breaking moment at the party. Apparently, she’s not fond of everyone’s out of control behavior. Normally I’d say Ramona is overreacting. However, this season it wouldn’t surprise me if they took things too far. After all, we wouldn’t want to embarrass Ramona in front of her fifty best girlfriends!

Luann De Lesseps Real Housewives Of New York

It would be an understatement to say Luann de Lesseps FREAKED out on last week’s episode. This has been the messiest season of The Real Housewives of New York ever. However, the way Lu treated Sonja Morgan was so random and so uncalled for. In all fairness, Sonja should be paid for her cabaret appearance. Luann’s ego can’t handle that, apparently. Pay the poor girl, so she doesn’t have a full breakdown!

Another big talking point heading into this episode is the new rift between Ramona Singer & Elyse Slaine. It’s looking like that friendship might be donezo. Also, why is Dorinda Medley so invested in the issue between Luann & Sonja? Doesn’t she have her own history of treating Sonja like crap? Or do we not remember the issue about the crest on the slippers

Real Housewives Of New York Halloween

Well, Real Housewives Of New York is back with a vengeance! Did you guys miss them? More importantly did you miss me? Cause I haven’t written a Housewives recap in about a month and I’m worried I’ve lost my touch. Be kind, be gentle — love me. Treat me like production treated Jill Zarin last night.

Anyway, I don’t know if I like the choppy editing and zoom confessionals with bad audio, although I did love how Leah McSweeney just went full quarantine vibes by wearing a sweatsuit.

Speaking of Leah she goes out to dinner in China Town with her baby daddy Rob and their daughter Kier. This is so Leah can emphatically prove over and over again that she’s a real legit New Yorker, not some uptight upper east side wannabe maven.

Real Housewives Of New York Tinsley Mortimer

Well, everything stayed the same on Real Housewives Of New York except for one little fairy, who reclaimed her light, and flew away to the hope of a giant walk-in closet with a promising sparkle in her eye. That’s right, Tinsley Mortimer has left the building. Specifically, she’s left the long-term hotel she was living in.

In secret Tinsley went on an overnight rendezvous to visit Scott Kluth. Then she decided, on a whim, to return to NY, pack her stuff and move to Chicago! It was now or never. It was that or be looking down the barrel of turning into either Ramona Singer or Dorinda Medley. Tinsley does not need to learn her lesson twice as to what happens when you choose Real Housewives Of New York over being a real and actual housewife. She doesn’t want to be crying over eggs for the rest of her life!

Real Housewives Of New York Ramona Singer Sonja Morgan

If Dorit Kemsley were designing a dining room for the women of Real Housewives Of New York it would require padded walls (and floors), plus a vacuum that descended from the ceiling to pick loose clumps of food and spilled drinks. It would also need each table to come equipped with a megaphone and tissue dispensers. And possibly, if we’re being really ambitious it would need men, of any ilk and sort, schlubby, stuffy, dad bod, inappropriately clad, drunk, dull, droids – whatever as look as they seem convincing male-ish, they’ll pass. And never get between a Real Housewife of New York and a man!

In Newport, Rhode Island where Ramona Singer is pretending to be of the puritanical Mayfair class that Tinsley Mortimer hails from, no one can behave. Leah McSweeney is throwing anything she can pick up, and now they’re in yet another bar having yet another emotional meltdown. Honestly — someone just put hormones in their drinks because it’s like everyone in this cast is constantly PMSing.

Real Housewives Of New York Leah McSweeney

I love Real Housewives Of New York. Also, I want to hang out with them. The FOMO is worse than ever with this whole quarantine thing and everything. I will drink 10 martinis and lose my mind with Leah McSweeney. I will tear down the genteel (only-in-delusion) Upper East Side establishment – starting with their flowers. I will burn Newport to the ground with a fire of toasted marshmallows and vodka. It will be great. Ramona Singer can take her wannabe elegance and stuff it like a lobster roll.

Anyway, Ramona has invited all the Real Housewives of New York ladies to beautiful and sophisticated Newport, RI where she’s attempting to refashion herself into some sort of elegant grand dame in the search of a wealthy husband. Pssst…. Turtle Time, that ship has sailed. Meanwhile, there is Tinsley Mortimer, whose family actually owns a house in Newport where they spend summers. They winter in Palm Beach.

See, this is why they hate Tinsley. It’s not her screeching, or the whining, or the Power Puff Girl makeup with plastic-y tears, it’s the access. The blue bloodstock that doesn’t come from marrying up, and won’t dry-up with divorce.

Real Housewives Of New York Dorinda Medley

This show … I just can’t get enough of Real Housewives Of New York! From Leah McSweeney instructing Tinsley Mortimer to go gangster – or “Cardi Llama” on Dorinda Medley; to Ramona Singer‘s condom situations, to the Russian baths with ginger vodka and Luann de Lesseps bush coming back to haunt her. RHONY is the glimmer of unstoppable hope for Real Housewives everywhere. May you never change, no matter how far you stray uptown.

So on that note, Leah, Luann, and Tinsley are all sick after their day at the orchards. Well, I think we know where Coronavirus started! The Countesses’ cough. This is an unlikely trifecta for a brunch date, Luann is a surprisingly good foible for Leah and Tinsley. Also Luann looks phenomenal. She is literally aging backwards as she struts up to the table like someone told her the sidewalk was a cabaret stage. All the world’s a stage, darlings!

Tinsley is late, and when she arrives, she is distraught. Is Tinsley every any other way? Dale Mercer clearly didn’t warn Tinsley that her face would freeze this way, because it has.