Real Housewives of Miami Season 5 is single-handedly carrying the Real Housewives franchise through the end of 2022. The other shows airing on Bravo, like Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and Real Housewives of Potomac, just aren’t giving like our Miami girls. Granted, the drama surrounding Lisa Hochstein’s divorce from Lenny Hochstein is enough to make any show interesting. But Miami is the perfect mix of fun, elegance, and drama that is just on top right now. I don’t make the reality TV rules.
We finally saw Lisa break down during last week’s RHOM. This week, she delves even deeper into her crumbling home life while on a rowdy trip in the Florida Keys. Here are 5 of the biggest takeaways from the RHOM Season 5 episode titled “Dumped and Dumbfounded.”
Lenny Is One Of The Worst House Husbands Ever
Lisa dropped the bomb on Alexia Echevarria’s birthday trip that Lenny is leaving her for another woman. She continued to break down the timeline — the couple hosted a backyard barbecue on a Saturday. Then, the following Monday, Lisa claims she asked her husband if everything was OK with him, and he responded by saying he wanted a divorce. How cruel. To make things worse, by Wednesday, Lenny had a full-on girlfriend. Oh, and the girlfriend is someone who has been to the Hochstein’s home for parties and is a devoted follower of Lisa’s on Instagram. The audacity.
Lisa tried to hold it together for Alexia’s birthday dinner, but Lenny continued to torment her with his antics. While in her room, Lisa received a call from Lenny’s mom, who was staying at the Hochstein house with the kids while Lisa was away, claiming that Lenny kicked his own mother out. Lisa eventually figures out that Lenny is sneaking his new girlfriend into his marital home while her kids are in the house. Lisa stops trying to smooth everything over with Lenny and unleashes her inner Mama Bear. “You bring that girl anywhere near my kids, there’s going to be a huge problem,” she screamed at Lenny on the phone. Tell him, girl. Alexia suggests that Lisa call 911 to get the girl out of her house, proving that she’s someone you want to have in your corner when going through the worst.
Larsa Makes Peace With Lisa To Support Her
Lisa ends up leaving the trip early the next morning. She didn’t even make it through Alexia’s celebration and stormed away from everyone and the cameras to try to gather herself. Even though they started off the season rocky, Larsa Pippen was there to be Lisa’s shoulder to cry on. Larsa is someone Lisa can easily relate to being that she’s a single and divorced mother. She even told Guerdy Abraira to back off on giving Lisa advice since Guerdy has never been divorced. Even though Larsa’s delivery toward Guerdy wasn’t the best, you can tell she was just trying to provide a safe and supportive environment for her friend.
Larsa stayed up with Lisa all night during her last night in the Keys. She said they just hugged and cried the whole night, which is super sweet. When Lisa leaves, Larsa told her to call her for anything and you can tell she actually means it. Larsa gets a bad rep for being shallow or self-centered. This is a prime example of her being a warm and supportive friend that everyone deserves when going through something like Lisa. Am I a Larsa stan now? Let’s see how the rest of the season plays out and then I’ll decide, but she is winning me over.
Kiki is A Totally Underrated Friend Of
The entire RHOM episode was full of drama, but the bright light of comedic relief was hands-down Kiki Barth. Kiki is a Friend Of the Real Housewives that deserves way more respect. Every time she was on the screen, she had me laughing out loud. In one scene, she knocks on a hotel room door saying “Police!” in a low voice only to realize it was the wrong room and she had no idea who was inside. She also told a story of a bad experience she had smoking cigars in the Bahamas. Apparently, she spent days throwing up because she couldn’t stop herself from swallowing the smoke. Comedic gold.
Kiki’s best moment was during a confessional where she put Lenny on blast. A producer asked if she ever thought Lenny was capable of treating Lisa so poorly, and she explained why she wasn’t that surprised. “Just the shape of his head, you can tell he’s up to no good,” she said with a straight face. I’m screaming. She explained that bald men cheat more before realizing that some of the film crew behind the scenes were bald men. She kept her theory going by telling the crew to admit that they cheat in relationships, which they denied. It was all a hilarious moment that solidifies I want more Kiki moments in RHOM’s future, please and thank you.
Games In Miami Always Have Consequences
One major learning lesson from this episode is that the ladies of RHOM shouldn’t play games. Especially if Marysol Patton is spearheading the activity. The ladies started playing a seemingly innocent card game at Alexia’s birthday celebration, which quickly turned sour. Julia Lemongovia picked up a card that made the ladies decide who out of them would be the worst prostitute. Julia playfully picks herself, but Alexia asserts that because she’s Russian, Julia would make a great prostitute. Oy vey. C’mon Alexia, let’s just think before we speak a little bit.
The vibe at the table was totally off. Julia’s anger was brewing until she proclaimed that Alexia has a low opinion of people from Russia. Alexia shrugged it off at the time and proclaimed she was actually giving Julia a compliment because Russians make the best prostitutes. Then she blamed it on the fact that Lenny is of Russian descent. This is exactly why the ladies can’t play fun games — the egos combined with too many cockies just leads to disaster.
Words Actually Matter
Alexia’s entire statement to Julia about Russians was uncalled for and proves that words have an impact. Julia was hurt because when she was a young model in Europe, everyone assumed she was a prostitute because of her ethnicity. Alexia tried to apologize to Julia the following day on an outing, but Julia was still raw and wanted to make Alexia realize the weight of her words. She compared the situation to Alexia formerly being married to a major drug dealer, and Alexia was activated.
Julia and Alexia returned to the sprinter van with the ladies without a real resolution. Alexia tried to further justify her statement by bringing up documentaries about Russian women who marry for a green card, which was just tone-deaf. Adriana de Moura got involved to defend her best friend, and made the solid point that there is a Netflix documentary about Alexia’s ex-husband the “Cocaine Cowboy.” That’s when Alexia went from bad to worse. Even her bestie Marysol looked scared.
Basically, Alexia said that when compared to drug dealers and prostitutes, people that date married men are the most shameful of the bunch. She seemed to insinuate that Adriana was dating married men, and Adriana was extra offended considering the Lisa and Lenny situation. The episode ends with an all-out screaming match on the sprinter van between Julia, Alexia, and Adriana, which is “to be continued” next week. Let’s hope Alexia does the right thing by listening and apologizing for her ignorant statements, but her bus behavior isn’t indicating it will go in that direction.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE RHOM EPISODE? ARE YOU SHOCKED TO HEAR HOW LENNY ENDED HIS MARRIAGE WITH LISA?
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