It’s week three in the Summer House and yes, if the title is any indication, there’s plenty of tea to be spilled. Kyle Cooke and Danielle Olivera ended last week at each other’s throats over Carl Radke, who’s still M.I.A. in Malibu with Lindsay Hubbard. This week, the three newbies also do their best to vie for camera time, all to varying degrees of success. Below, we’ve rounded up the five major takeaways from Summer House Season 7, Episode 3.
The Ghost Of Coachellas Past
Instead of continuing to fight with Kyle, Danielle turns her attention to another matter at hand: her shared history with Gabby Prescod. So far, we don’t know the newcomer all that well beyond her penchant for astrology and disdain for sociopathic Cancers. The one thing she’s been open about is being cheated on by her last boyfriend, who jetted off to Coachella with another woman behind her back. Well. As it turns out, that other woman was…Danielle!
I have to say, this tidbit of juicy information was a masterful revelation from the editors, who used Danielle‘s own blurred-out photo with her arms draped around the sociopath of Indio. Luckily for her, Gabby doesn’t blame Danielle one bit for the unsuspecting love triangle. They were both being played by the same guy.
And when Gabby found out, she took things nuclear — blowing up the guy’s life by posting a confession written in his voice across all his social media accounts. Yes, even LinkedIn. Message received: Gabby’s not someone you want on your bad side.
Spilling The Tea
The next day, Paige DeSorbo decides to host a genteel tea party for all the ladies of the house. Meaning, you know, 85 percent of the cast. The boys are simply banished to a brewery somewhere in the Hamptons for bro time. And given the wide-brimmed hats, tea sandwiches, and dainty china on the table, it would appear Paige’s time rubbing elbows with the Charmers down in Charleston is certainly, well, starting to rub off on her.
Topics of conversation at the tea party, however, are not polite conversation. Somehow, raunchy girl talk turns to the subject of Amanda Batula’s fertility. She’s been off birth control since her wedding to Kyle last September and so far, no baby. Naturally, the delay is starting to weigh on Amanda, but she doesn’t know if there’s something more serious going on. And until she knows, she doesn’t want to talk to Kyle about it.
There’s still drama lingering from the night before, and Danielle lays out her issues with Kyle to the group — namely Amanda. Who is, unsurprisingly, rather level-headed about the whole thing, but just doesn’t want the issues between Kyle, Carl, Lindsay and now Danielle to snowball into an all-consuming house problem. She’d rather have Kyle and Carl work things out privately. Between the two of them. But too late: Danielle already spilled the beans…or piping hot tea, if you will, to her besties over FaceTime.
Too Much, Too Fast, Too Quick: The Chris Leoni Story
You guys. What are our thoughts on Chris so far? Danielle seems to be the only housemate going out of her way to make him feel welcome and comfortable. But if there’s one thing Chris has made clear, it’s that he came to the Hamptons to *PaRtYyYyY* all summer long. And frankly, in my professional opinion, a party animal with nothing else going on isn’t all that interesting to watch. The only things we really get out of him this episode are his cringe-y attempts at flirting with Ciara Miller and his dogged insistence on staying up later than Kyle. I guess to show the house who the biggest party animal is? Bro, you’re not proving anything to anyone when you’re the last one awake at 5:14 a.m. In the immortal words echoing from Scary Island, GO TO SLEEP!
The New Girl & The Boxer
Meanwhile, Samantha Feher offers up her first attempt at a storyline by inviting her hot new boxing trainer to the Hamptons for the weekend. Evidently, the guy’s name is Josh. He has tattoos and doesn’t drink alcohol. He seems quiet and reserved, which is maybe the best counterbalance for the newbie, who promises she does nothing but talk.
However, it’s a swift T.K.O. for any chance at romance after Josh the boxer *checks notes* refuses to get up on the kitchen island and dance with Sam and the other housemates. She’s just not that into guys who don’t dance on tables, OK? For the rest of the episode, she keeps Josh at arm’s length. He’s relegated to the far side of the bed all night. And the next morning, she…kind of just leaves him waiting by the front door like a sad puppy while she lays out in the backyard with Amanda. Can someone please make sure this guy got back to New York?
Danielle vs. Kyle, Round 3
Of course, the episode wouldn’t be complete with Kyle and Danielle going another round in their fight over Carl. This honestly feels overblown given the fact that Carl himself is far away in Malibu living his best, sober life. Kyle seems kind of fine to sit and sulk in the corner, but Danielle can’t seem to help from talking about him with the other roommates. Kyle publicly throwing Carl under the bus was wrong no matter how well-intentioned his frustrations were, but at a certain point, it sort of felt like Danielle was trying to pick a fight.
News flash: claiming Kyle’s wasted isn’t any way to start a productive conversation. Kyle feels like all Danielle has done since arriving in the Hamptons is talk about him; Danielle feels the need to defend Carl’s honor in his absence. We’re at a stalemate, which naturally ends with one of Kyle’s now-signature dramatic storm-outs. It’s only after the argument that Paige points out that the whole thing shouldn’t be Danielle’s battle to fight. And besides, would Lindsay and Carl be doing the same thing for her if the situation were reversed? Based on the look on Danielle’s face, the answer is questionable.
The next day, Danielle’s the one claiming she no longer wants to clear the air. But after everyone else leaves for the city (except maybe that poor boxing trainer??), she and Kyle finally sit down for a rational, clearheaded conversation. Kyle insists there’s much more to this story than the single side of the story Danielle has been privy to. And Danielle finally admits she might’ve been overly defensive of Carl, and by proxy Lindsay, while they’ve been gone. But Kyle only sees one simple solution to all this drama: maybe he should just fire Carl from Loverboy and be done with it.
TELL US – IS DANIELLE TOO BLINDLY LOYAL TO LINDSAY AND CARL? IS THEIR FRIENDSHIP ONE-SIDED? HOW WOULD YOU RANK THE NEWBIES SO FAR?
[Photo by: Sasha Israel/Bravo]